2012 Olympics, the same old stuff

[rissoles]

With the arrival of the 2012 Olympic Games in London, getting nearer by the minute, I thought it would be appropriate to come up with some new events. I, for one, am genuinely bored with the range of sports on offer and feel that it is about time that new and more interesting events were sanctioned for the games.

I have an initial offering of the "Timed Spontaneous Combustion".

The event is bound to draw a lot of contestants however the rules should be clear that there be no heats for the finals as there are unlikely to be many remaining competitors.
The rules are simple; first to explode without external aid is the winner.

I feel that this would be a most appropriate event and add significantly to global warming.

[chris.ph]

wot about a discworld olympics and what sports we could come up with eg dwarf tossing, witch's broom slalom

[chris.ph]

quickest transformation in between human and werewolf

[Jan Van Quirm]

That's speciesist! Greebo should be able to take part as well - Also the Duc (of Genua)

[chris.ph]

most klatchian coffee drunk without becomig rebos

[Tonyblack]

How about the ancient (and stupid) British sport of Cheese Rolling?

[The_Discworldaholic]

How about the ancient (and stupid) British sport of Cheese Rolling?

Whats stupid about that You tell me a faster way to deliver a cheese to someone at a bottom of a hill

[Calon]

Quantum cheese. It's there before it was gone(off?). As regards sports,how about.. Formation Moaning about the youth of today ..for the over 40's. I'm pretty sure we'd get gold there. As long as we had the aily Mail as a trainer.

[Calon]

*Daily Mail

[Straw Walker]

I think a few modifications to the marathon could help our chances of gold. Competitors would have to steal a car, drive it to the next checkpoint where they'd remove the stereo and set fire to the vehicle. Before the next check point they'd nick a pensioners handbag and use the money to get legless at the pub. Before the finish line competitors would graffiti the side of the stadium. Bonus points could be awarded for style, content and level of violence used throughout the event.

[Tonyblack]

I think a few modifications to the marathon could help our chances of gold. Competitors would have to steal a car, drive it to the next checkpoint where they'd remove the stereo and set fire to the vehicle. Before the next check point they'd nick a pensioners handbag and use the money to get legless at the pub. Before the finish line competitors would graffiti the side of the stadium. Bonus points could be awarded for style, content and level of violence used throughout the event.

I like your style!

Having walked in some pretty remote parts of Wales I never cease to be amazed at how 'joy riders' managed to get a car so far off the beaten track. What tend to make me wonder though is; once they've driven all those miles, set the car on fire and rolled it down a mountain - do they then have to walk home.

[Jan Van Quirm]

Oh I do hope so!

But I expect the 'little' sods have some mates to taxi them back

[Tonyblack]

I'm always half hoping to see a couple of blackened corpses in one of these burned out cars. So such luck though.

[Straw Walker]

We had a spate of burned out cars being left around the farm a few years ago until a pair of the miscreants were stopped by the gamekeeper. He held them at shotgun point until the police arrived. They complained to the officers about the gun, he replied 'What gun?' and proceeded to caution and them.

[chris.ph]

excellent strawwalker, nice to see a copper with a bit of common sense