2012 Olympics, the same old stuff

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2012 Olympics, the same old stuff

Postby rissoles » Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:15 pm

With the arrival of the 2012 Olympic Games in London, getting nearer by the minute, I thought it would be appropriate to come up with some new events. I, for one, am genuinely bored with the range of sports on offer and feel that it is about time that new and more interesting events were sanctioned for the games.

I have an initial offering of the "Timed Spontaneous Combustion".

The event is bound to draw a lot of contestants however the rules should be clear that there be no heats for the finals as there are unlikely to be many remaining competitors.
The rules are simple; first to explode without external aid is the winner.

I feel that this would be a most appropriate event and add significantly to global warming.
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Postby chris.ph » Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:23 pm

wot about a discworld olympics and what sports we could come up with eg dwarf tossing, witch's broom slalom :lol:
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Postby chris.ph » Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:24 pm

quickest transformation in between human and werewolf :lol:
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Fri Feb 13, 2009 5:31 pm

That's speciesist! :P Greebo should be able to take part as well - Also the Duc (of Genua) :lol:
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Postby chris.ph » Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:18 pm

most klatchian coffee drunk without becomig rebos :lol:
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Postby Tonyblack » Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:39 pm

How about the ancient (and stupid) British sport of Cheese Rolling? :shock:
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Postby The_Discworldaholic » Fri Feb 13, 2009 8:21 pm

Tonyblack wrote:How about the ancient (and stupid) British sport of Cheese Rolling? :shock:


Whats stupid about that :shock: You tell me a faster way to deliver a cheese to someone at a bottom of a hill :lol: :lol:
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Postby Calon » Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:55 pm

Quantum cheese. It's there before it was gone(off?). As regards sports,how about.. Formation Moaning about the youth of today ..for the over 40's. I'm pretty sure we'd get gold there. As long as we had the aily Mail as a trainer.
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Postby Calon » Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:56 pm

*Daily Mail
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Sir Terry Pratchett.
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Postby Straw Walker » Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:52 am

I think a few modifications to the marathon could help our chances of gold. Competitors would have to steal a car, drive it to the next checkpoint where they'd remove the stereo and set fire to the vehicle. Before the next check point they'd nick a pensioners handbag and use the money to get legless at the pub. Before the finish line competitors would graffiti the side of the stadium. Bonus points could be awarded for style, content and level of violence used throughout the event. :)
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Postby Tonyblack » Sat Feb 14, 2009 10:07 am

Straw Walker wrote:I think a few modifications to the marathon could help our chances of gold. Competitors would have to steal a car, drive it to the next checkpoint where they'd remove the stereo and set fire to the vehicle. Before the next check point they'd nick a pensioners handbag and use the money to get legless at the pub. Before the finish line competitors would graffiti the side of the stadium. Bonus points could be awarded for style, content and level of violence used throughout the event. :)
:lol: I like your style! :lol:

Having walked in some pretty remote parts of Wales I never cease to be amazed at how 'joy riders' managed to get a car so far off the beaten track. What tend to make me wonder though is; once they've driven all those miles, set the car on fire and rolled it down a mountain - do they then have to walk home. :lol:
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:49 pm

Oh I do hope so! :twisted:

But I expect the 'little' sods have some mates to taxi them back :roll:
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Postby Tonyblack » Sat Feb 14, 2009 12:59 pm

I'm always half hoping to see a couple of blackened corpses in one of these burned out cars. So such luck though. :lol:
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Postby Straw Walker » Sat Feb 14, 2009 1:40 pm

We had a spate of burned out cars being left around the farm a few years ago until a pair of the miscreants were stopped by the gamekeeper. He held them at shotgun point until the police arrived. They complained to the officers about the gun, he replied 'What gun?' and proceeded to caution and them. :D
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Postby chris.ph » Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:15 pm

excellent strawwalker, nice to see a copper with a bit of common sense
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