Messiah ~ An Xmas game for pagans and atheists everywhere

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Messiah ~ An Xmas game for pagans and atheists everywhere

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:24 pm

Image

Messiah! is an Xmas-themed race/game of chance for 2-6 players.
It is just a bit of fun and loosely based on the story of the Nativity, but owes more in spirit to the Monty Python ethic than the Four Evangelists.

If you hold deep-seated Christian beliefs, you may find this mildly offensive, in which case please read no further, unless you think the Lord also enjoys a little humourous fun-poking now and again... :wink:

Messiah! The objective of the game is to become the Mother of God ~ the Messiah! foretold ~ but there is an underlying story that you will not find in any Bible...

It is a little-known fact that Jesus' mother changed her name to Mary just after giving birth in a cunning ploy to fool the forces of evil. God had in fact devised an elaborate plan to use decoy Madonnas to confound Satan and his cohorts and so there were really up to 6 prospective pregnant virgins, all living in Nazareth, who might, or might not have been expecting a little Messiah!

Their original names were...
Dorien ~ a long shot as she thoroughly appreciates a well-turned bicep and a masterful manner
Sabrina ~ generously endowed and hot-blooded
Ruth ~ passionate and something of a siren
Miriam ~ appealingly shy, fresh and very domesticated
Sharon ~ Daddy's 'cuddly' little princess in search of a well-heeled King
Lilith ~ cool, dark, exotic ~ and fascinatingly but probably pathologically unhinged...

All these young ladies have already (fortuitiously) found themselves a fiance called Joseph... :roll:

First Madonna to finish gives birth, becomes the proud Mother of God AND wins a free FLIGHT TO EGYPT!

I promise, promise, promise that this is a simple, fun little game along the lines of Life of Brian only not so 'edgy' or, indeed, clever... It is not intended to mock any faith or scion thereof ~ in fact, aside from the decoy virgin part, it does follow the Gospel according to St. Matthew (mostly, well a fair bit, a little smidge... ish! )

Game starts at the weekend depending on player take up! Also you don't have to be a player to take part - just a vicious gossip :twisted:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby deldaisy » Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:34 pm

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I liiiiiiiiike it :D And its okay Jan.. I have been practising to be a virgin for a bit now. (*waggles a cigar at the corner of her mouth and says "... and wouldn't I like a bit now!") :wink:
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:41 pm

:twisted: So - which virgin would you like to back Del? When we have enough 'owners' we can start.

I really think I should reserve one virgin for pooh... :P so we need 4 more takers to start :wink: but in the meantime here's how it's played... :lol:

How to play
Image ~ Choose your Madonna (1st come, 1st served).
Image ~ GM (JVQ) throws the 6 die for everyone in daily rounds ~ no need for post deadlines for the players just pop in to chat and comment on progress or lack of it whenever you like!
Image ~ Everyone starts and finishes at the highest point of the star under Messiah! and the Madonnas travel clockwise on the white spaces on the board.
Image ~ Each Madonna must visit each golden point on the star ~ therefore you will have to move backwards at times to land squarely on the point. IMPORTANT ~ you cannot change direction mid-turn.
Image ~ There are also 6 copper 'Limbo' spaces where you may receive a bonus or penalty if you land on it.
Image ~ On each gold point (and on the copper spaces if you land there) the GM will throw the 6 die again to determine whether you receive a tribulation (1-3) or have cause for jubilation (4-6).

First Madonna back to the top point of the star gives birth and becomes the proud Mother of God AND wins a free FLIGHT TO EGYPT!
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby deldaisy » Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:07 pm

Ohhh ummmm .. some of these virgins have wonderful personalities. I DO like a good bi-cep, and manners matter! A passionate siren? Nice. Daddy's little princess? No way! Pathologically unhinged! Now there's a girl to give a man a bit of a challenge, but I hate the name Lilith (it fills me with images of being naked with Frazier Crane). I am torn between bicep girl and the deranged one. I am going with passionate siren Ruth (Dear God.. that counds like someone throwing UP!) *waving the pin around* DORIEN! Damn now I have a pin hole in my screen.
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Postby Tonyblack » Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:06 pm

Lucille Ball??? :shock:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:26 pm

I´ll play! :P

I´ll take Lilith :wink:
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:59 pm

OK Del - Ruth runs with the blue marker Image :wink:

Sjoerd - Lilith's green Image :lol:

Tony - yup that's Ms. Ball. It's the daffy domestic type aspect - you wanna play? :twisted:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby Tonyblack » Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:28 pm

Nah, I've never been interested in games. :)
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Postby poohcarrot » Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:40 pm

Sabrina for me. :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby deldaisy » Fri Dec 03, 2010 2:38 pm

Jan Van Quirm wrote:OK Del - Ruth runs with the blue marker Image :wink:

Sjoerd - Lilith's green Image :lol:

Tony - yup that's Ms. Ball. It's the daffy domestic type aspect - you wanna play? :twisted:

So I am RUTH? Thought I was Dorien.... Ok :D I will be Ruth
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Fri Dec 03, 2010 2:47 pm

deldaisy wrote:Ohhh ummmm .. some of these virgins have wonderful personalities. I DO like a good bi-cep, and manners matter! A passionate siren? Nice. Daddy's little princess? No way! Pathologically unhinged! Now there's a girl to give a man a bit of a challenge, but I hate the name Lilith (it fills me with images of being naked with Frazier Crane). I am torn between bicep girl and the deranged one. I am going with passionate siren Ruth (Dear God.. that counds like someone throwing UP!) *waving the pin around* DORIEN! Damn now I have a pin hole in my screen.

:roll: I didn't see the pin as definitive or realise DORIEN! in isolation was you changing your mind... *shakes head* :lol:

OK - Ruth's back in the pot and Dorien is indeed red - Image

and pooh goes for Sabrina - can't think why - a magenta gal :lol: Image

OK folks - so we have Miriam, Sharon and Ruth still needing backers... Git your Madonnas here while they're still hot! Virgin fresh and unsullied as the driven snow - inna... Wivva bun - in the oven! Sorry my mistake there! :oops: :D
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby poohcarrot » Fri Dec 03, 2010 3:10 pm

That's not magenta, it's purple. Magenta is more browny (I think! :lol: )

Willem, Dotsie, Crys and mC will be up for it.
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Postby ShadowNinjaCat » Fri Dec 03, 2010 5:07 pm

I think I understand the rules :oops: ,may I play Miriam?
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Postby deldaisy » Fri Dec 03, 2010 5:10 pm

poohcarrot wrote:That's not magenta, it's purple. Magenta is more browny (I think! :lol: )

Willem, Dotsie, Crys and mC will be up for it.

I thought it was more a cerise colour pooh
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Postby deldaisy » Fri Dec 03, 2010 5:17 pm

ShadowNinjaCat wrote:I think I understand the rules :oops: ,may I play Miriam?

We have to understand the rules? I was kinda going to just move the number of squares I was told to and then do what it tells me to do. I have to have a strategy to lose my virginity? :shock:
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