The Leonard of Quirm Renaming of Everyday Objects Thread

[The Mad Collector]

A ladies holding up and in and out device

The internet

[Jane]

Device-for-explaining-marital-arts-to-newcomers-device.

Chocolate fountain.

[madam]

a device for making chocolate exponentially more fattening , delicious and messy

bloomers

[bikkit]

exeptionally-large-granny-pants-that-may-in-emergancys-be-used-as-a-tent-for-ten-people-or-paracute-depending-on-the-situation


twilight

[Sharon007]

a really bad moving picture about vampires

vice grips

[madam]

a thing designed to tempt those who are not quite sure what they are intended for to make dirty jokes about them, yet must refrain from doing so because their little sister is looking at the screen right now, suffice to say it would have involved seamstresses.

Babys

[Thordoc]

babys.. A device made for creating fall-out

Nappy - a device for preventing fall-out

Softdrink

[bikkit]

device-for-causing-hyperactivity-and-cavities-that-may-also-cause-bubbles-tocome-out-of-nose-if-you-laugh-when-consuming-it





define: thingummyjigger

[madam]

a technicalterm used by all college students to describe the microwave at 2 in the morning.


high heels

[deldaisy]

Modern torture device for women and certain tall overmadeup men designed to simultaneously cause the victim to salivate in public, rob the victim of a week's wages, break ankles, and when used in conjuction with pavement grates, cause the victim to fall flat on her face, break a nail and rip open her knees.

Lipstick

[madam]

a pigment stick created soley so a wayward toddler can smear it all over the carpet.

eyeball

[deldaisy]

devise used behind dark eyeball coverings to check out the great arr.... arms of the guy walking just ahead of you

iron

[Maria]

A curious device that was discovered by the even more curious Bellhamtoth-Smythe's who happened upon a blacksmith's yard whilst out scrumping and saw the blacksmith's wife using something flat and steaming to press her garments. After much instruction on how to use the device properly they wrote the successful 986.3 page (and-still-in-print) Crease-Be-Gone guide to ironing. Out of the 921 pages dedicated to the description of the iron, we found a passage that described the iron as 'hot to the touch and that it must be used with great caution as the device needs to be rapidly heated before using, and that once placed upon a wrinkled garment, timing is crucial, as either the garment or the hand will burn repeatedly if not removed promptly.'

A postcard

[unseenu]

Thin device fashioned of wood pulp bearing upon one side a painting of the area immediately around the card,Designed for dispersion through existing postal systems.


Primary functions include extracting coins from tourist's pockets and invoking feelings of jealously(or in some cases arousal) in tourist's friends*.

**wohs ziuq eht:23243241 noitnevni otni srewsna gnidnes fo dohtem a sa ecived eht gnisu fo ytilibissop erolpxe fles ot eton*

semoh s'elpoep otni dnuos dna segami ngisrepsid fo dohtem a gnitnevni tuohtiw sselesu eb lliw 23243241 noitnevni fles ot eton**


computer mouse

[deldaisy]

Device used to move pointy little arrow thingie around computer screen. Device has right and left clickie things for the downloading of virus infested programmes and saving of 5,694 sites on favourites all dedicated to Justin Beiber by the smallest child.

washing machine