101 ways to get kicked out of walmart !! [asda]

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101 ways to get kicked out of walmart !! [asda]

Postby ghostsecurity28 » Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:20 am

As a suggestion from Jane in the broken drum conversation what made you smile today?
turn this into a game so my original post as below :

BANNED FROM WAL-MART


Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.. '

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M &M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ' Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13.. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least .

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'



so now you need to think of a reason you could be banned from walmart the funnier the better :lol:

here's my ideas to get it started :

October 25th :Caught running around the bedding department hidden under a sheet yelling "whoo whoo I am the Walmart ghost "Image

October 31st: was found in the vegetable area carving faces onto pumpkins
And in Heather's case, there were sometimes Third Thoughts and Fourth Thoughts, although these were quite difficult to manage and sometimes led her to walk into doors
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Postby poohcarrot » Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:42 am

November 1: caught putting a sign up saying "Marital Aids" on the cucumber shelf (or where ever cucumbers are stored :roll: ) :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Penfold » Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:21 am

Later on November 1: Seen removing "Marital Aids" sign from the cucumbers and relocating the said sign to the DIY counter. :wink:
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Postby poohcarrot » Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:17 am

November 2: Get thrown out for shouting "Boo!" at all the shockproof watches. :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby The Mad Collector » Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:23 am

November 3rd went round adding notes to signs

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One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

http://www.bearsonthesquare.com
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Postby mspanners » Thu Sep 16, 2010 7:52 am

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

GUNS!!

USA shopping magic..... :lol:

( Guns in the UK ASDA would be soooooo cool!!..... Imagine the carnage......imagine the drunk chavs cocking about and posing for low quality phone vids........ :shock: )

Eating the 10% free parts from choc bars and putting the rest back and when challenged telling the security you only had the free parts.........

8)
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Postby Penfold » Thu Sep 16, 2010 10:53 am

November 4, 10am: Took up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

November 4, 11am: Took bets on the battle described above.
:P
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:42 pm

5 Euros on the X-men :wink:
A poster outside one shop urged people to Dig For Victory, as if it were some kind of turnip.
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Postby The Mad Collector » Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:23 pm

10 Euros on Barbie now she has joined in

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One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

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Postby Jane » Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:45 pm

I just googled the list and found this:

156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"


Do you guys get offended by this? :o


November 4, 1 PM: Followed people around the store, in the Asassin's Creed blend mode, because no one will notice you then!

Image
The rumour spread through the city like: ______.
A) Wildfire
B) Margarine
C) Venereal disease
D) A disco of pain
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Postby The Mad Collector » Fri Sep 17, 2010 7:29 am

Jane wrote:I just googled the list and found this:

156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"


Do you guys get offended by this? :o


Not in the least after all they would probably be warders rather than soldiers if they were coming to Australia :D
One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

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Postby Jane » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:11 pm

:lol:

I've heard stories about Australians who visit England and get asked "Returned to the scene of the crime, eh?"

November 4, 3 PM: Drove a shopping cart propelled with aerosol hairsprays, deodorants, whipped cream, cheese and air down the aisles.
The rumour spread through the city like: ______.
A) Wildfire
B) Margarine
C) Venereal disease
D) A disco of pain
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Postby KPDGaskell » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:17 pm

these are hilarious, I couldn't stop laughing at the alarmed door
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Postby mystmoon » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:42 pm

Entered the store in a group dressed as pirates. Proceeded to "test" the toy swords by staging a mock battle across the entire store
"Why is that gas stove wearing a hat?"
"He's going out"
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Postby Penfold » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:49 pm

Jane wrote:November 4, 3 PM: Drove a shopping cart propelled with aerosol hairsprays, deodorants, whipped cream, cheese and air down the aisles.

November 4, 3:30pm: Got bored going solo and decided to hold indoor shopping cart races.
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