Even worse, if possible, than Twilight itself, is the slew of mushy me-too books that follow it around like the stench behind a sickly camel. On the rare occasion that I actually see one of my fellow students walking around with a book, I'm so utterly surprised that I go over to see and ... oh gods, it's another vampire romance.
What exactly makes Twilight appeal to so many people? It's a difficult question, especially when you've gone no further than small, forced extracts - a bit like a dentist's appointment, if you ask me - and wish to go no further.
What I can conclude is that the prose, while occasionally atmospheric, is usually clunky and stumbling, and although I can't comment much on characters when I haven't witnessed their development, I am confident in saying that they have the depth of a summer puddle. Honestly, you find better talent on Deviantart every week. And as for the cornerstone 'original idea' - that vampires are shiny soppy moon-powered creatures, as far as I can tell - it seems pretentious, to say the least, especially only a few short years after J.K. Rowling convinced everybody that wizards go to school, have bad dress sense and play sports on broomsticks.
So why, in the name of all that is reasonable, is it so popular? Well, let's face it, teenagers are not the most predictable or understandable market. Their language is nonsensical, their music is positively terrifying, their tastes and fashions can change five times a day and everything they say seems to be somehow connected to sex. (As an adolescent, I've witnessed this bizarre culture first hand) There could be any number of reasons why Twilight became popular; maybe it was the way it stood out on the shelves, all black and hulking, or maybe it had just the right balance of mushy romance to make various parts of the teenage brain go 'awww'. Heck, I don't know. And now the series seems to stretch to five or six books - each one understandably worse than the last. Why?
I still don't know. All I can hope for is that the world loses interest, slowly but surely.
And then... 21st century dragons. We will take the world by storm