Corrupt-a-wish

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Postby bikkit » Thu Dec 24, 2009 3:42 pm

You sleep for the rest of your life and are stuck in a nightmare.

I wish you a merry christmas
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I'm going to need a swat team, ready to mobilize, street maps covering the whole of florida, a pot of coffee, 12 jammy dodgers and A FEZ.
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Postby poohcarrot » Thu Dec 24, 2009 3:45 pm

...but unfortunately you are either Atheist, Muslim, Jewish or Hindu so it means absolutely nothing.

I wish I couldn't remember all the TP books I've read.
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby bikkit » Thu Dec 24, 2009 3:50 pm

I'm atheist


You forget them all, and about terry pratchett.

I wish I wasn't short-sighted
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I'm going to need a swat team, ready to mobilize, street maps covering the whole of florida, a pot of coffee, 12 jammy dodgers and A FEZ.
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Postby Quark » Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:24 am

I'm an atheist too, but it doesn't stop me enjoying Christmas :) If we stuck to the original meanings of many traditions, we'd be in a real mess.

You're long sighted instead. Unfortunately, this means you can't focus on things closer than a few meters to you, and you accidentally walk into a bacon mincer at head height, losing your eyeballs in the process, but hey, at least you aren't short-sighted.

I wish hobby model kits came pre-painted.
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Postby poohcarrot » Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:34 am

...then they'd be just called model kits, coz the "hobby" aspect is the actual painting. Any Tom, Dick or Quark can stick a few bits of plastic together. It's the painting bit that makes it a hobby.

I wish I knew how you get the stripes in toothpaste.
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
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Postby Batty » Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:07 pm

You learn how to get the stripes and then make your own design, with poohcarrot colouring ... which nobody buys and you go broke.

(The tube is filled with the carrier material, the actual toothpaste, which is usually white, to a certain level. Above that level, the tube is filled with the 'stripe' stuff, which is usually red, blue or green. Both materials are viscous enough so that they don't mix. Now the trick is to let these two substances out separate ways but at the same time. The toothpaste nozzle is not just a hole at the top of the tube. Instead, it is a longish pipe that reaches down the tube just ending at the filling level of the carrier material. The pipe has small holes in it further up closer to the nozzle. Pressing the tube will cause the carrier material to enter the outlet pipe and press the stripe stuff. The stripe material will enter the outlet pipe through the small holes, which is where the stripes are generated).

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Postby poohcarrot » Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:09 pm

(that's not how you get the stripes :lol: )
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Quark » Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:29 pm

(Oh yes it is :))

A-alright then. You haven't eaten so much yesterday, because your meal burnt in the oven and you were forced to eat defrosted mushrooms.

I wish, rather shallowly, perhaps, for a lot of money. :?

Oh, and pooh? The model kit I was thinking of is a remote-controlled tank with a ludicrous amount of tiny mechanical pieces and a bunch of rather twitchy servos. It's not exactly a bunch of wooden cut-out pieces and a tube of superglue.
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Postby poohcarrot » Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:50 pm

(This may seem like a really silly question, but why do you want a remote controlled tank? :?)

You get a lot of money and buy a real tank, but unfortunately your left leg gets crushed when it accidently rolls over you when you're trying to paint it.

I wish animals could talk.
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Quark » Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:39 pm

Why do I want a remote-controlled tank? To be honest, I didn't. I was given it for christmas because I asked for virtually nothing. This was because my original list -

- PTerry book
- PTerry book
- PTerry book
- PTerry book
- PTerry book
- PTerry book
- PTerry book
- PTerry book
- PTerry book

- looked a tad self-conscious. So I limited it to three and prayed for money to buy my new computer.

Animals can now talk. David Attenborough becomes the official ambassador for humanity, but is eaten alive by dolphins after he describes their mating routine in a documentary. MI6, searching for a reason to this sudden linguistic development, track their way to this internet forum and locate you via your IP address, before breaking down your front door and finding you in a coma, savagely clawed, after you have a major argument with your cat because it sat on your plastic glue-together hobby kit while the paint was drying. :twisted:
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Postby poohcarrot » Sat Dec 26, 2009 1:51 pm

:lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Ponder Stibbons » Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:34 am

PMSL :lol:
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Postby Ponder Stibbons » Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:35 am

Um... Quark. The wish.
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Postby Quark » Sat Jan 02, 2010 5:33 am

Oops, sorry :oops: .

I wish I had been around during the Quake era :lol:

N00b, 1 PWN J00 0N QU4K3 W1TH K3YB04RD!!!!!1111one11!1!!! L0LLL!!!!11eleven!!!11!
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Postby Danny B » Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:51 am

You really should be more specific. You (very briefly) get to experience San Francisco on the morning of the 18th of April 1906, although you're too busy screaming in abject terror before being swallowed by a fissure to enjoy the sights. Or to meditate on the fact you have just travelled backwards in time. (Forwards in a sudden leap, for our Trollish brethren)

I wish wishes were fishes, just to spite my Aunty Doris for clamping down on a young boy's daydreaming all those years ago.
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