You write the greatest novel ever about a necromancer trying to raise the former head witch of Sevenoak (A wizards' tower, suspiciously similar to the UU, except that all wizards live in towers) from the dead, for reasons I have yet to reveal, and there's also these seven dragons which control reality (which enter the story later as part of a highly stereotypical world-domination attempt). The rather bored King Arctros of Drakoldia gets caught up in all of this when he is nearly assassinated on the necromancer's orders, and at the same time, a delivery dragon by the name of Irikas is brought down in the mountains in order to fuel a spell of massive energy consumption that the necromancer is preparing. But it's so bloody long, 11x the lenghth of LOTR, that nobody on the planet can be bothered to read it.
Holland wins the final against Germany. Angela Merkel is so upset by this that she launches a nuclear assault against Groningen.
I wish the toilet paper wouldn't run out just when I start to wipe my bottom.