ONLY The Story about Discworld Thread ~ NO CHAT! :p

[Jan Van Quirm]

Might as well face it - we need 2 threads for this...
ALL CHAT AND OFF TOPIC STUFF (so NON-STORY posts) please plonk in the old thread HERE


The Story so far....

GASPODE
Early morning pickings outside the Mended Drum were always interesting. Gaspode picked his way carefully past various puddles of suspicious body fluids, stopping now and again to sniff more alluring piles of rejected or regurgitated food...

SALLY:

"Damn me, why did i drink yesterday,I should make a rule never do it before the morning shift" thought Sally walking.She stopped when she reached The Broken Drum:"Back to the crimescene";noone was around except for an ugly dog

CHEERY

Cheery slowly trundled along behind her, grumbling and moaning to herself. "Those Ladies nights are killing me... I really shouldn't have tried that "pink sticky ghoolie whopper". I mean: nothing so sweet should be able to have that amount of alcohol in it!"

SKYLUX:

Skylux stood up, swaying slightly in the post-dimensional breeze, watching as the colors danced and twisted in front of him until they settled into their respective hues. He looked around the dim tavern, taking in the shattered tables, the hunched figures and the smell of disgruntled yeast: It was definitely not the kind of place he'd hoped to end up.

Sally:

Cheery, my dwarf friend, how's your patrol going?"Asked Sally with a cheerful voice as soon as she saw her."I can't even believe I'm still standing, maybe we should enter just to control how everything is going on, you know, we can..sit down a minute and make sure everything's ok"she went on with hope in her voice.

Got it?
Non-story posts now go HEREfrom this point please

[Jan Van Quirm]

GASPODE
The scruffy pooch was now making his way to one of his favourite scavenging spots a little further down the street from the front entrance of the Drum. Over the years Gaspode had carefully measured the optimum distance in all directions from CMOT Dibbler's usual nightly 'last orders' patch to where the dubious Sausage-inna-buns generally made it before they were actually forcibly expelled from the less discerning customers stomachs.

He had to draw a line somewhere naturally and with Dibbler's wares they were definitely more flavoursome without an additional piquant tummy pickle - that went fine with rat and chips in the all night cafe around the corner from the Stronginthearm Weaponry Factory. Today however he appeared to be out of luck in this direction and wound his way back to the Drum, not forgetting to stop, one front paw lifted jauntily just off the ground and trying to cock his right ear as perkily as he could manage, to look appealingly at the two female Watch officers who had stopped 'proceeding' just outside the pub. Angua wasn't with them so they just might fall for the 'cheeky little mutt' routine...

[Quark]

SKYLUX
Skylux carefully picked his way across the room. At one point he stepped in something and, before he could stop himself, looked down.
It might have been a sausage at one point, but it was hard to tell when it was half chewed and in a pool of... ugh. He stepped over it and gingerly went on.
He stuck to the edges, noticing how anything crossing through the centre automatically became the centre of attention of the tavern's residents, which was a most unfortunate situation.
As he neared the door, his vision flickered and he knocked the side of his head angrily. It was probably just a passing spell, he explained to himself. There was nobody else to talk to, after all.
A barely discernible sound, a sudden whirl of silver. Skylux spun around and...
"Hey!" he whispered harshly. "Be careful with that!"
Most people, upon being confronted with a dark figure wielding a big knife and pointing it at them, would have probably put on a better show of fear, but Skylux was used to that sort of thing. It was all about image, with assassins. Nobody would take you seriously if you were short, got seasick easily, and had constant acne problems. The assassin looked troubled.
"Sorry mate," he said, sheepishly.
"Sorry?"
"I'm not looking for you. Everyone looks the same wearing a cloak."
"Fine," Skylux muttered, stumbling half-heartedly towards the door. He was on good terms with Death. In his own universe, anyhow.

[CrysaniaMajere]

SALLY

She wasn't sure that entering the Mended Drum in the middle of her shift was such a good idea, she was pretty sure that Commander Vimes would have something to say about that, and she even convinced Cheery to come in!! One thing was put yourself into trouble, another totally different thing was put into trouble one of your friend, expecially an important one like Cheery.
"Well, if we are caught I'll take full responsibility, he knows me and Cheery, he'll believe me" she thought looking around while they entered together. Despite the early hour, the Drum was always full of all kind of people, the Drum was famous for being open to all sorts. One look was enough to recognise some assassins, thieves, and other fellow citizens of that open-to-everyone-world that was Ankh-Morpork: everyone was allowed to come in, after that it was up to you to be able to come out.
She felt a heart bumping incredously fast, that is much faster than anyone else's, and turned to look at a foreign-looking boy who was trying very hard to not look scared to death, and with a big surprise she had to admit he appeared to be succeding.

[poohcarrot]

Captain Cabbage

Is it Spring yet? All your hollerin' and yowlin' and whining and griping have disturbed my hibernation!

[Jan Van Quirm]

GASPODE
I must be losin' me touch! Gaspode thought to himself as Sally and Cheery paid not a blind bit of notice of him and disappeared into the Drum oblivious to his cute puppy act. Someone else, another veggie-brained, musclebound hero stereotype (Capt Cabbage ) arrived on the scene and wittered on about Spring or something before following the Ladies inside..
Cutting his losses, Gaspode decided to try his luck inside. This was always an interesting exercise as technically they didn't encourage animals to come in, but this being Ankh-Morpork standards were easily and regularly dropped and anyway - there were far more scruffier and smellier creatures in there than him.
"S'not as if I'm not a citizen - I helps the Watch alla time and performs selfish acts of charity in supportin' the Beggar's Guild!" Gaspode muttered sullenly under his breath to nobody in particular. He didn't have the jaws for pouting, but he'd prided himself on his ability to do sullen...
Early morning drinking in the Drum was a determined and mostly silent affair and today was no exception. Some spotty kid on his way out of the tavern (Skylux), talking to himself, almost stood on his tail as he sat down for an essential scratch. Gaspode's rheumy gaze was fixed on a small figure robed in black carrying a tiny scythe and, hopping around just on the edge of vision, another minute spot of black and silver waiting expectantly for any attrition on Gaspode's vast and varied parasitic population. The dog glared at the Deaths of Rats and of Fleas. "D'yoo mind!" Gaspode hissed at them irritably, huffily standing up again. "Me eczemas playin' me up summat chronic today!" With a gallant show of wounded pride he began to investigate the darker corners of the Drum for anything interesting and edible, through the forest of table and chair legs...

[Quark]

SKYLUX
Skylux was just ascending the stairs to the door - a square of light that seemed infinitely bright against the murky walls, and treading on something he didn't dare look at this time - when he found himself being blocked by a pair of uniforms.
"Erm, sorry," he murmured, stepping out of the way of a vampiress and a dwarf. There were vague hints of law-enforcement in their outfits, but he didn't care. They'd surely not come for him...
He stepped out into the street surreptiously, and looked around at Ankh-Morpork.
It was certainly larger than he'd imagined. And smellier. Some unusual vibrations on the lower astral planes caught his attention. He pinpointed their origins at a large, crooked tower that rose above the city unsteadily, and smiled. The Unseen University was exactly as he'd thought of it.

[CrysaniaMajere]

SALLY:

The strange-looking boy went out of the Drum (skylux) and Sally stopped paying him attention now that his thundering heart wasn't bothering her anymore. The only thing she wanted was to clear her head before going out on duty again, but the silence of her friend Cheery made her think she was disapproving her behaviour and was quite uncomfortable with the two of them passing time in the Drum instead of being on patrol. Sally sighed and took a look around, after ordering a very black and very strong coffee to a barman who didn't receive many such request in a place like that, but a vampiress friend told her about it and she found it quite usefull in situation like this.
Around her was quite calm, until a sudden scream made her turn towards a huge-built man with a criminal face, but on the other hand they all had one in here. The reason on his screaming was soon clear. A dog was wandering around and it became clear the man didn't like dogs. She knew that because he kept shouting "I hate dogs".
Well, she was an officer after all, wasn't she? So it wasn't like she was looking for trouble, she was only doing her duty!
She approached the corner when the dog was still, muttered to him the words "don't worry" and went straight towards the man.
"Do you have a problem sir?" she asked innocently and then she smiled at him as only a vampire can smile.
"I didn't do anything, I've no problem with the Watch" said him, with a little less confidence, and Sally gave him an even wider smile. "good" she said, "so why don't you buy this nice dog something to eat, this way we'll all be happy". It was obvious the man was not happy at all with this solution. "did I tell you that the only thing I have had in hours is half cup of coffee? Nothing to bite so far..."
The man gave up. Had it been night, he might have had a bunch of friends to back him up, but he would have been alone now, so he decided to be smart, once in his life.
While she was back next to Cheery, she looked at the dog who was eating happily, and almost didn't listen when another man near her asked her "why do you care?It's not even a nice dog!"
"Nice? He's the uglyest dog i've ever seen, and that's why he must have
someone on his side. Because someone has to be. It's a thing I learned from my Commander.

[Cheery]

Cheery had watched the scene with quiet nervousness, her gaze always jumping back to the door, in case a member of the Watch came in. They weren't suppost to go for a drink (even if it was coffee) in the middle of their patrol. Commander Vimes had been very clear about that. If someone found them they would be in big truble.
And Cheery for her part didn't like to be in that sort of trouble.
She leant over to Sally and murmured: "You know, we should go back on patrol. It's not like I don't fancy a coffee, but i'd rather not get into trouble with Mister Vimes. You know how he is with that sort of thing... And besides-"
Cheery couldn't finish because of an ear-splitting crack behind them; she turned around, saw the door crashing down on the ground and tried to make out anything through the cloud of dust and wood splinters. She could hear the barman groan, going "Bloody hell, not again!" , before a huge man, built like a bull stomped through the ex-door.

[Quark]

SKYLUX

Skylux swivelled around as the crunching sound of shattering wood split the air, and immediately noticed the lack of a door on the Broken Drum. Peeking around the violently splintered frame, he also noted the rather obtrusive figure of a very large man standing in the ruins of the door. Wary, he reached under his travelling cloak and drew out a rather large spanner, tapping a rhythm on the handle nervously as he approached the man warily from behind.
A jerking feeling under his ankle, and Skylux already knew, within a tenth of a second, that he was powerless to stop himself tripping over. He watched, almost in slow motion, as his foot caught on a plank of wood and sent him falling onto the non-too-welcoming floor.
"Oof... aargh," he muttered, trying to stay still in case the man happened to look down from the summit. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought: Why does this always happen to me.
And, somewhere else in his brain, a reply issued forth.
It's your own bloody fault, you know that? Just avoid attracting attention, have a look around, but no, you had to go and investigate some madman that smashes the door down...
He silenced it, aware from previous experience that it was quite possible for him to have an argument with himself.

[Jan Van Quirm]

GASPODE

"Don't worry!" Being a dog Gaspode's expressive abilities were facially limited, but his unique and very vocal sentience literally spoke volumes aided by a simple, if skewed rolling of eyeballs and a slight twitching of orange eyebrows. "Wot me? Not worry?!!!" The disparaging tone of his sarcasm was almost beyond the pathetic lower reaches of human hearing, but not quite the bat botherer's (Sally). Nevertheless the vampire cop was too engrossed with giving the bar braggart a good talking to and Gaspode perked up a little once he heard the magic words,
"so why don't you buy this nice dog something to eat, this way we'll all be happy", and went back into cute puppy mode and actually managed to assume the begging bowl position quite stylishly although he knew pelvic muscles would be aching something chronic tonight... "Woofety woof woof! Mmmuffle hummpfffle phwoarrrrrr!" he murmurred appeciatively as a bag of crunchy chicken itchings were deposited by the chair he had been lurking under when the stupid bloke had kicked off.

So engrossed was he in chug-a-lugging the treat up before the barman remembered he wasn't supposed to be in here at all, Gaspode only vaguely paid attention to Cheery the Dwarf's concerns above him and was almost about to disregard the door crashing as that was a fairly normal occurrence in here, but then he heard a tell-tale and powerful leather-booted shuffle on the splinters of the door. Gaspode went seamlessly into the hurried cowering run to shelter behind Sally's feet that was the canine equivalent of the barman's "Bloody hell, not again!"

The thump of Skylux tumbling about on the deck behind the man mountain, barely registered as Gaspode started to scull around the wall towards the back door. "Bugger this for a game of soldiers!" he chuntered very quietly as he slunk behind the woefully inadequate cover of the bar counter.

[Ponder Stibbons]

. . . ................................***

Bursar

In the early morning light the Unseen University slept on. In fact, it was actually 8am, but for all the difference it made it might have been midnight. Only the librarian and the archchancellor were about, and the silence was unbroken. It was unbroken, until a chorus of swearing issued from the direction of library. Odd, as the only sounds normally associated with it were 'ook'.

[Quark]

SKYLUX
The man stomped over to the bar, sending a few of the larger fragments of door spiraling upwards in his wake, and sat down heavily on one of the more resilient-looking barstools. A stunned silence followed as the occupants of the bar traced his path. Undaunted, he sat down and, in a very loud voice, shouted at the bartender, who still looked rather disgruntled at the damage, but, as was the norm, wasn't really going to complain to anyone large enough to break down a door.
"Two pints!"
Evidently the sort of person used to ordering others around.
Skylux inched his way out of the door again, deciding it wasn't worth bothering with. A roar and a familiar shout of 'sorry, you looked like someone else!' sounded out of the hatchway. He shook his head, willing himself to avoid returning again. Apart from anything else, his ankle was quite sore, and those law-enforcement type people should clear it up. In the mean time...
"Sausage? Inna-bun?"
"No thanks," he muttered, urgently stepping around the hopeful-looking street vendor.
He reached the Unseen University fairly quickly, considering the state of the traffic. The absurdly tall building towered above him in a vertigo-inducing sprawl, but his problems were much closer. Namely, the large, well sealed gate. The obvious thing, incongruous though it was, seemed to be to knock. So he did.

[CrysaniaMajere]

SALLY

She looked at the big man who just
entered the Drum, He looked like a rude, uneducated thug, so she just shrugged and didn't pay him much attention, since till now he had done nothing out of the ordinary.
She wasn't sure about her friend Cheery who was the kind of copper who did everything by the book, respecting every rule to the letter, but she herself was already too bored with this assortment of more or less humanity and didn't want to get involved any longer.
She was now pretty much awake and herself again, so she decided to go back to her good-copper mode and went for the door, to continue her patrol shift.

[Quark]

SKYLUX

Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Nobody answered, and Skylux, feeling a twinge of metaphorite on the edges of his thaumic vision, pushed the gate open carefully. The grounds of the 'UU', as the letters on the gate proclaimed, were almost completely quiet, and he was rather unnerved about the lack of human existence in the immediate area. Crossing the wide open space as quickly as possible, he reached the massive front door. Not bothering to knock, he tried the handle first. In true irritating style, it was locked, and he was reduced to rapping it with his fist. A similar lack of action resulted, and after a minute or so he sighed and turned to leave.
Something whizzed by his head at a rather worrying speed, the sort of speed that nothing goes at unless severely persuaded that it's worthwhile doing so. Having a lingering instinct for self-preservation, he threw himself back to the relative safety of the doorstep and looked out.
He knew it wasn't safe, working as a wizard, but this was ridiculous. Nervously, he peered around for the next projectile while slowly drawing his bow.