With the exception of Gervais, I like the others.
Janet: My dad went on a cruise and sat at a table with American passengers who smothered their breakfasts with maple syrup. He couldn't stand the smell of that and got his revenge when he found out that kippers were also on the menu!
(I feel sorry for the poor waiter who had to put up with the combined smell of the two.)
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.