On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"
A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.
A passing tramp stops & says, "Since you're about to kill yourself, if you don't mind, could we have sex, please?"
The woman says, "No, go away!"
The tramp turns to leave & mutters, "Fine, I'll just go & wait at the bottom
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband any more.
"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a taxi to work. I don’t make much money and my husband doesn’t give more than bus fare, so the taxi driver always asks me, ’So are you going to pay today or what?’ I always give him an ’or what’. That makes me late to work, I’m late so the boss asks me, ’So are we going to dock your salary, or what?’ That’s another ’or what.’ On the way home, I take the taxi and again I don’t have any money so the taxi driver asks me, ’So are you going to pay this time or what?’ And, again, I do an ’or what’. So you see, Doctor, when I get home I’m all tired out and I don’t want sex any more."
The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?
Tune the world out, turn the radio up
Sing along to my freedom song