Frustration Thread 4

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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby raisindot » Wed May 15, 2013 6:16 pm

Ah. So this explains the old stereotyple about Brits and their..er...teeth. :D
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby TinatheConfused » Thu May 16, 2013 8:26 am

I am terribly frustrated right now. I have so much anger in me that It feels like I am ready to explode. Why? Why do things have to be so darn hard? I want to play music and sing in order to a) stimulate my brain b) hopefully help my brain c) build my self-confidence a bit d) have some fun.

We haven't gone to open mic night for three months. When we went before, it was either jerks playing UNBELIEVABLY LOUD and being worshipped, or several times it was just Brad and I playing for over 4 hours with a smattering of applause for one or two songs. Tonight was the cherry on the blasted sundae. We got there, expecting the usual crowd, a few friends and maybe some newer ones. It was professional band night. It was a coincidence, but jeez, there was an incredible jazz guitarist, the Bass player already plays well, a Phenomenal drummer, and the Bass players kid playing a Gibson so harsh and loud, that I couldn't help but wince when he took the leads.

I told the Bass player there was no way I was getting on stage after that. Not with my funky little ballads and only playing the mandolin for a bit over 4 weeks. Crap, I could not handle the idea of getting up and sounding tiny and not amped to vibrate cans off the tables. I just don't get that. It seems to be what they want. I am tempted to just hang it up, quit singing, sell all my gear and burn the sheet music and books. I would be creating a ton of space and probably do the world a lot of good.

I tried going to bed three hours ago, can't sleep, just keep rolling over what finally happened. I got the nerve up to try and sing a couple songs while Brad played. When I finished those, I went to the van to get a guitar cord to play a song on guitar and sing while Brad accompanied me. Brad comes out and tells me that some Fat guy just shut him down "So other people could get on stage". It was the FIRST BAND Again missing a few peeps and a new drummer. We did TWO SONGS. Fatboy isn't even in charge of the open mic gig. I was so very, very deeply angered. I just sat there and looked at the pictures on the walls until Brad had my gear put away and they finished, gotta clap for the musicians... unless it is us. Screw that bar, screw being told that they want us back, :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: BUGGERIT!!!!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Penfold » Thu May 16, 2013 8:44 am

Sorry that that gig didn't work out Tina but don't give up! Is there another bar in the area or in another nearby town you could try? Maybe offer them a couple of free sessions/audition type thingy to see how their patrons react with a view to becoming a 'semi-resident' act (this might work well with a different clientèle than the open mic place, and for a bar looking to provide entertainment to improve business). :)
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby raptornx01 » Thu May 16, 2013 9:02 am

Yeah, could try another bar. I mean, you could try to talk to the guy actually in charge, but that may not do anything unless you know the guy.

for taste and things like that, every kind of music has it's audience. don't let anyone make you think you shouldn't play what you want to play. Do what you damn well please, if they don't like it, **** em, if they complain, PLAY MORE. Never let anyone tell you you can't like what you want to like. and if they try, you keep on anyway, and you do it more, and you do it harder.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Square12 » Thu May 16, 2013 9:09 am

Or are there any local music festivals? Not Glastonbury types but, well google Broadstairs folk week to see the sort that I mean.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Thu May 16, 2013 9:49 am

That's a bummer Tina but you just got to keep going to prove them all wrong. :handgestures-thumbupleft:
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Tonyblack » Thu May 16, 2013 10:30 am

Sometimes, after a ton of loud music, an audience is more than ready for a softer ballad. A fact that Terry points out in Soul Music that is based on fact. Look at some of the all time favourite pieces by top Rock bands such as Stairway To Heaven.

Don't give up, Tina - believe in yourself.

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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Catch-up » Thu May 16, 2013 10:46 am

Don't give up Tina. I think looking for another venue altogether is a great idea. Forget the bars, look for a music festival like Square suggested.

I'm not sure how frustrated I am about this yet, but this seemed like the most logical place to put this. Remember that teacher consultant I was having problems with? Things have gone fairly smoothly since the last meeting and I haven't been too worried about things because there's so little of the school year left and we wouldn't be dealing with her next year. I met with her yesterday for a short time to get an update on how things are going (they're going great by the way, Ava just got an excellent score on a national math test :D ). So, as we're wrapping things up, she's telling me which teachers Ava will have next year. Staff are sort of getting rearranged, which isn't unusual. Then she very quietly says that she'll be getting moved up to work with the 7th graders and she would love to still work with Ava, "if that's ok." :shock: Soooooo...... I was thrown for a bit of a loop there. What do you do in that situation? I didn't want to say "--ck no, it's not ok!" to her face or anything. After a blank moment the best I could come up with was, "Continuity is always great."

Walking away from the meeting, I was surprised to find myself not really all that upset. I don't know if this teacher had no say in the matter, or if she really wanted to keep working with us. She sounded sincere about wanting to still work with Ava - not that she ever had a problem with Ava, it was she and I who clashed. If she honestly had the opportunity to ditch us and opted not to, I would have to be impressed by that. I can certainly come up with a pros and cons list for the situation. It was not fun giving hubby the news. He wasn't nearly as zen about it as I was. My choices are - roll with it or tell the school to put her on the other 7th grade teaching team.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby hnorwood » Thu May 16, 2013 11:23 am

Keep at it, Tina!

(I've changed my avatar to show solidarity)
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Tonyblack » Thu May 16, 2013 12:34 pm

Susanne, I'm glad you gave an ambiguous answer. Put your feelings into writing and send them on to whoever is in charge. The important thing is Ava, not this woman's feelings.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Jan Van Quirm » Thu May 16, 2013 2:40 pm

Tina - hang in there but look for pastures new that will appreciate you properly and not bring you down so much as this bar. Life's too short to waste on getting jerked around... ;)

Catch-up - better the devil you know etc :shifty: Seriously - this woman knows she can't mess you around and if Ava's doing so well then, like you said the continuity may be a positive feature, despite the history, as it's one thing you're used to among all other upcoming changes that'll maybe need new coping strategies ;)
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby raisindot » Thu May 16, 2013 6:14 pm

Tina--That situation sucked. You can't control who have to play after, but whoever is running the open mike is the one who can determine how long you can be there--not some random jerk.

Generally, unless your band is amazing, your success at an open mike will depend on the number of friends you can bring there. Acts typically stock the audience with their buddies, who tend to like the same kinds of music they do. Same thing happens at paying clubs.

I agree with others that you might want to look around for other venues whose open mike acts are a little closer to the genres you play. Gotta think that even in Cheap Trick country there's gotta be a folk or acoustic club.


Suzanne--You've got a tough dilemma. But you said yourself everything has been going smoothly since the last blowup and that Ava did extremely well in a test. That seems to indicate that something is working. What you might want to do is to objectively review Ava's results before and after this consulting. If she really seems to be doing better, the continuity of sticking with this consultant may be beneficial. If Ava likes working with her, this may be an important factor. Children are highly resistant to change, and the more continuity they have the better, as long as the results are good.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Catch-up » Thu May 16, 2013 6:19 pm

Tony, we decided to drop a note to her boss and ask for a chat. I told him we weren't opposed to the placement, but we have some concerns we'd like to chat about.

Jan, your pros are all ones that went through my head as well. If this is who we're working with next year, I know we'll make it work and Ava will continue to do well. Don't quite buy into the 'devil you know' thing in general, that kind of thinking tends to keep people in bad situations. Plus, you have to take into account that this is the only teacher in this school district that we've had to complain about. I'm betting I would have no problems with someone else. But, still doesn't negate the pros you listed.

Raisin, Ava really does like her, and in spite of my problems with her, she seems to genuinely work well with Ava. I do need to make sure she's up for the task next year though. I can't allow Ava's treatment to be set back again because this woman doesn't know how to communicate basic info. So, I'll still touch base with my concerns. And, good point! She will be facing more change and probably a tougher academic year, so the continuity would definitely be a plus - assuming there are no more communication issues.
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Conforumist » Thu May 16, 2013 6:23 pm

It's funny to me, how everyone calls Catchup by her real name here. :)

Anyway, I'm glad you're not too upset. Good News on the math score!
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Re: Frustration Thread 4

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Thu May 16, 2013 9:06 pm

Con some of us have met Susanne, and she is also on the DW EMPORIUM forum. :mrgreen:
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