Of course that backfires when the dog runs off in a public place and the owner has to shout out "TROUSERS!"
Talking of names for dogs - when I was on the post office counter we sometimes used to get people buying a dog licence. You would ask their name and quite often they would give the dog's name.
But the best story was a woman who trained us who told us of a man who was buying a dog licence. She said "what's the name?" and he replied "Fido". She laughed and said "Not the dog's name, silly! Your name". He got really angry at that point and said; "That is my name! My name is Mr Royston Fidoe!"
Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
Yes! We're all individuals!