A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A.

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A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A.

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:17 am

This is something that I was working on a few years ago that I thought I might share with you all. I wasn't too sure where to put it, so I'm putting it here. Feel free to add your own bits - maybe respond to the Letters section etc.

I got the idea from a newsletter a friend used to get from a group she was in. It was hysterically badly written. :lol:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A.

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:19 am

NEWSLETTER FROM
A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A


Ankh-Morpork and district walking and natural knowledge association

Dear Member,

Welcome to the first edition of our newsletter since the Ankh-Morpork Walkers Association joined up with our friends from the Natural Knowledge Society. It is hoped that our love of walking and their love of natural things will combine and compliment one another.

We will shortly be holding elections for the post of Chairman and I hope, even with the new influx of members that you will continue to support me!!!

Arthur Throgmorton (Chairman) A-MADWANKA
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A.

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:22 am

Dates for your diary!!!

Grune 15th – The dedication of the stile in memory of poor Cuthbert Sidebotham, who passed away while walking with the group earlier this year, will take place on the 15th. There will be a 15 mile walk in one of Cuthbert’s favourite settings – the Upper Ankh Valley.
The stile, which will have a plaque paid for by member’s subscriptions, is to replace the old one that was flattened by a troll.

Grune 28th – A-MADWANKA’s Annual BBQ and Hog Roast!!!!

This was a great success last year and hopefully it will be even better this year. The BBQ will be held in Hide Park at 7pm near the river. A marquee will be erected and we have hired a couple of troll security guards from a Mr Dibbler’s agency. Hopefully that will avoid the problems we had with the group of gentlemen from under the bridge.

Grune 30th – Quiz Nite at the Mended Drum. The monthly quiz has found a new venue. I have been assured that there is a nice quiet room at the back of the hostelry with access to the bar.
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A.

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:24 am

HOLIDAY IN THE STUNNING RAMTOPS!!!

The society has arranged a working holiday for members in the beautiful Ramtop Mountains. How would you like to spend the summer walking, working and learning in and around the picturesque mountain village of Bad Ass? Well why not come with us to the Lancrastian Folk Lore Centre, just one mile from Bad Ass Village. Learn all about the quaint, old-fashioned arts of goat care, privy digging, maintaining a herbal garden and other such rural arts from the Discworld’s greatest expert in traditional medicine, Mistress Weatherwax.

Due to the limited spaces available at the Folk Lore Centre, we regret to inform you that this offer is only open to the first ten members to apply and pay their deposits. Total cost of the holiday is AM$500 with a deposit of AM$100 to be made to the Central Bank of Lancre via their Cmail address – G-OGG@LANCRE.CMAIL Deposits are non-refundable.
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A.

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:26 am

ŰBERWALD CUSTOMS AND QUAINT FESTIVALS
An iconograph slideshow by George Snodgrass


Our old friend, the intrepid George Snodgrass has just returned from one of his adventures with iconograph and tripod to study the quaint and picturesque villages and castles of Űberwald. As you know, George is a very keen student of the weird and wonderful ways that some of these underdeveloped countries still follow. He visited and took part in a citizenship ceremony in the village of Escrow and while he was there, he took some marvellous iconographs which he’d love to share with us all. You may have heard that George hasn’t been too well since his trip. He has put his sensitivity to sunlight down to something that he was bitten by. Get better soon George!

If you would like to see George’s icongraph slideshow and lecture, he will be holding an evening at his new house in the slaughterhouse area of Morpork. There will be drinks and nibbles laid on in what promises to be a fun evening for all!!!!!
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Re: A-M.A.D.W.A.N.K.A.

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Apr 10, 2013 1:46 pm

Dear Arthur and the team,

I was wondering if any of the Natural Knowledge team could suggest anything for Feegles in my garden?

I have a Turnwards facing, mixed flower and vegetable garden of around a half acre, on loam and these pesky pests are destroying my veg as soon as it is ripe. I have tried slug pellets and a beer trap, but these seem to actively encourage the little blighters.

My wife is at the end of her tether when it comes to weeding, as these vermin shout rude words at her and make obscene gestures from her shrubbery. We desperately need the team's help on this matter.

Bernard and Hermione Crotch-Scratcher, Upper Ankh.
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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