men only

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Re: men only

Postby chris.ph » Tue Mar 12, 2013 6:34 pm

ive looked at it for at least 5 minutes and still cant spot him :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Re: men only

Postby Bickaxe » Tue Mar 12, 2013 6:52 pm

Maybe you should try not moving, it can help if your eyesight is poor ;)
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Re: men only

Postby TinatheConfused » Wed Mar 13, 2013 2:48 pm

Tonyblack wrote:And how many women saw King Kong in that picture before they read the text and looked for him? :P


I thought it was an ugly puppy... LOL. she is rather endowed.
Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat. ~ Witches Abroad
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Re: men only

Postby Watchman44 » Fri Mar 29, 2013 1:41 pm

MAN RULES

AT LAST A BLOKE HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
Who watches the watchman.......
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC
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Re: men only

Postby simmonds91 » Fri Mar 29, 2013 2:14 pm

After living with 2 women most of my life I can honestly say if I was in a relationship that required these rules I couldn't be with my gf for longer than a week... I can not be with someone unless it was 100% understanding between each other, some of these rules are just funny, haha, but a few cant ever be broken with me, I can't deal with people like "the stereotypical woman in the relationship". Maybe that will change some day, for now it's one night stands all the way. (I'm not saying I'm the perfect match by the way, I just know what I want)
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Re: men only

Postby cheery_j. » Fri Mar 29, 2013 4:15 pm

Watchman44 wrote:1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...


You do realize that he wanted to go to India and ended up in America? So maybe he SHOULD have asked for directions. :roll:
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Re: men only

Postby Bickaxe » Fri Mar 29, 2013 6:55 pm

cheery_j. wrote:
Watchman44 wrote:1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...


You do realize that he wanted to go to India and ended up in America? So maybe he SHOULD have asked for directions. :roll:


Jesus was lost in the desert for 40 days before he asked....apparently. :D

And Moses for 40 years...
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Re: men only

Postby barrie » Fri Mar 29, 2013 7:12 pm

Bickaxe wrote:
cheery_j. wrote:
Watchman44 wrote:1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...


You do realize that he wanted to go to India and ended up in America? So maybe he SHOULD have asked for directions. :roll:


Jesus was lost in the desert for 40 days before he asked....apparently. :D

And Moses for 40 years...


Don't get the Jesus one Mark.. if you are in the desert, it's bloody obvious that's where you are. Anyway his dad was omnipresent weren't he? all he had to do was ask for a burning bush or an interesting arrow shaped cloud formation.

As a sensible, level headed just out of my 40's bloke, my sense of direction is unquestionable, even if I don't know where I'm going or how to get there. I can always find the pub when I arrive.

My dad says, it's not the destination that's important, it's the journey. and we went on many mystery tours when I were a lad. Most of them in Central London.
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Re: men only

Postby jaznbonnie » Sat Mar 30, 2013 12:17 am

barrie wrote:I can always find the pub when I arrive.


Is that like "I always find my keys in the last place I look"? ;) :whistle:
Be careful what you wish for as you just might get it.
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Re: men only

Postby raptornx01 » Sat Mar 30, 2013 4:57 am

cheery_j. wrote:
Watchman44 wrote:1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...


You do realize that he wanted to go to India and ended up in America? So maybe he SHOULD have asked for directions. :roll:


Just because someone put a continent in the way doesn't mean he wasn't going in the right direction.
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Re: men only

Postby Bickaxe » Sat Mar 30, 2013 10:31 am

barrie wrote:As a sensible, level headed just out of my 40's bloke,


Ahaha hahahaha hahahaha. :D
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Re: men only

Postby MongoGutman » Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:25 pm

Image
Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? ~~ Oddball
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Re: men only

Postby MongoGutman » Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:26 pm

it cropped the picture! why'd it do that? i thought this forum reduced pics, not crop them
Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? ~~ Oddball
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Re: men only

Postby Tonyblack » Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:46 pm

MongoGutman wrote:it cropped the picture! why'd it do that? i thought this forum reduced pics, not crop them


There's a maximum width of around 640 (I think). The old site used to allow you to scroll across if a picture was too wide, but this one doesn't.

If you edit the size on your Photobucket account, it should work just fine. :)
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Re: men only

Postby MongoGutman » Sat Mar 30, 2013 9:22 pm

Image
Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? ~~ Oddball
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