Jokes

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Re: Jokes

Postby Alanz » Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:19 pm

That one is one of your best so far, I love it :lol: :lol: :lol: I can't think why :?: :?:
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Re: Jokes

Postby raptornx01 » Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:33 am

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understands Binary, and those who don't.
"The reason an author needs to know the rules of grammar isn't so he or she never breaks them, but so the author knows how to break them."
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sister Jennifer » Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:08 am

^ :D :D Oh Gawd!

What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?

Boobies.
Undead yes -
Unperson no!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:30 am

Image
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: Jokes

Postby raptornx01 » Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:20 am

That is so wrong, I love it. :lol:
"The reason an author needs to know the rules of grammar isn't so he or she never breaks them, but so the author knows how to break them."
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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:23 am

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E , F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Alanz » Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:40 pm

Ghost wrote:Image


Another classic there Ghost :lol: :lol: :lol:

Same for you Bouncy brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ghost » Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:58 pm

What do you call a midget psychic who just committed a crime?
A small medium at large.
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: Jokes

Postby chris.ph » Sat Mar 16, 2013 7:07 pm

englands rugby team :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Re: Jokes

Postby chillicamper » Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:31 am

Ghost wrote:What do you call a midget psychic who just committed a crime?
A small medium at large.


:lol:
Wooden stuff at www.iwoodlovethat.co.uk
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Re: Jokes

Postby ChristianBecker » Sun Mar 17, 2013 7:47 am

raptornx01 wrote:There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understands Binary, and those who don't.

And then, of course, there are those who use ternary to confuse the other 2.
On with their heads! I'm the clown prince of fools
if you don't get the joke it's your loss
Love and laughter you see are the new currency
'cause greed's coinage is not worth a toss

Exile yourself to the unforgiving continent of Wraeclast!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:49 pm

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.

He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks.

They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies……





Wait for it .......





It's coming .........




The suspense is killing you, isn't it?






She said ....... 'You just happened to catch my eye.'
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

The rest of us are a bit crap.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Alanz » Tue Mar 19, 2013 7:49 am

chris.ph wrote:englands rugby team :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


It's about time Wales got their act together and played to their potential, after that performance they could go on to greater things :D
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Re: Jokes

Postby Alanz » Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:55 pm

Just got this joke:

Dear Sir,

On behalf of Channel Four may i thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your Wife for our new reality show, Also the charming Photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the programme if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt" :D
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Re: Jokes

Postby Alanz » Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:36 pm

A wife asks her Husband " What do you like most about me,my pretty face or my sexy body?" He lookedat her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour!" :D
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