As previously reported the Wizards at UU have built a Doughnut Shaped Machine that was designed to crash the smallest parts of matter to find the hidden magical particles that make up the Universe, below is an extract of the prior article...................
We don't know but you can bet that the UU are working on a device to test this idea...an inside man at UU has told us that this device will take the form of a Large Doughnut shaped Ring with Magical Magnets around the outside and powered by Lightning Lemons that will drive small lumps of Matter into a target.
We wait with baited breath on the results of there efforts..................
We can now report to you our loyal readers that because of a bumper crop of lemons from Genua and the drop in price of the lemon due to Genua having been bathed in fine sunlight this Summer, the yield has been up 35 % over last Years crop, the alumni at UU have been able to fund the power up and testing of the device.
A spokesman for the UU, The Wizzard Mr Rincewind told us
"Gods no why the Inadvisably applied Magic Department keep trying to open up Holes in the Fabric of the Universe.
It's ok for them but who ends up at the ass end of the Universe being chased around by gods know what......ME THAT'S WHO.........all I want is a quite uneventful life, is that to much to ask for?
Some multi dimensional monster will pop into existence I know it, and it's me it will be pissed at."
When presses for a more definitive appraisal of the progress at UU the Wizzard Mr Rincewind told us
"Well at the moment the faculty are only running at one fifth power, the lighting lemons are not as acidic as we would have liked but we have had some unexpected results. During the third test last Week the Director of research (Professor P Stibbons) a matter transfer materialisation was observed. When the machine was turned off a musical instrument was found inside the observation chamber.
We, at first, thought that it may have been a Magical one a bit like the one that the Bard owned in the Group The Band With Rocks In had but after placing it in the morphic resonator the only thing we could positively say is the it belongs to a chap called Higgs.
It's owners name was found on a small plaque on the side of the instrument.We asked the Musicians Guild to inspect the instrument and they informed us that it is a Bassoon......."
So if anyone is looking for the Higgs Bassoon please contact The Head Bledlow Mr McAbre at the UU to collect their property.