Jokes

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Re: Jokes

Postby Dotsie » Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:20 pm

Maybe it's manners Alanz :roll:
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Alanz » Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:23 pm

Maybe it is but there's nothing better, it relieves the pressure that leads to Tummy ache, anyone who says that they have never Farted is i'm afraid mistaken.. :D :D
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sister Jennifer » Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:25 pm

I liked those Penners. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? :D :D

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Re: Jokes

Postby ChristianBecker » Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:51 am

Alanz wrote:Same reason that more Men Smoke than Women.............Women cant keep their lips together long enough. :lol:


Slightly off topic: Is that still true (not the lips thing, the distribution of smokers)? In my experience much more women smoke than men. Of course, studying pharmacy I see much more women than men, thus more smoketresses than smokors.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Dotsie » Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:01 am

Alanz wrote:Maybe it is but there's nothing better, it relieves the pressure that leads to Tummy ache, anyone who says that they have never Farted is i'm afraid mistaken.. :D :D

Newsflash Al - women fart. The reason you think they don't do it as much as men is because we're discrete.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Dotsie » Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:03 am

ChristianBecker wrote:
Alanz wrote:Same reason that more Men Smoke than Women.............Women cant keep their lips together long enough. :lol:


Slightly off topic: Is that still true (not the lips thing, the distribution of smokers)? In my experience much more women smoke than men. Of course, studying pharmacy I see much more women than men, thus more smoketresses than smokors.

In the US and UK, slightly more men than women, apparently. Maybe different in Germany.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:36 am

Tesco are giving double Club Card points today, on petrol and burgers, starting today.

The deal is called Only Fuel and Horses.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Penfold » Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:22 am

Dotsie wrote:
Alanz wrote:Maybe it is but there's nothing better, it relieves the pressure that leads to Tummy ache, anyone who says that they have never Farted is i'm afraid mistaken.. :D :D

Newsflash Al - women fart. The reason you think they don't do it as much as men is because we're discrete.

I farted in a lift once. It was wrong on so many levels. ;)
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Re: Jokes

Postby Bouncy Castle » Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:54 am

:naughty:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Dotsie » Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:03 pm

:lol:
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Re: Jokes

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:40 pm

Just as well you did not light a match. :mrgreen: boom boom.
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Re: Jokes

Postby chris.ph » Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:03 pm

Alanz wrote:Maybe it is but there's nothing better, it relieves the pressure that leads to Tummy ache, anyone who says that they have never Farted is i'm afraid mistaken.. :D :D


i used to love a good fart :cry: :cry: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Ridcully » Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:37 pm

steeljam wrote:From Thomas Cook Holidays listing some genuine complaints from their UK clientèle.
."


True. I worked at a Dutch hotel company for years and also handled complaints which escalated to Head Office. In my first week, I got a call from a guy who didn't want to receive our mailings because it traumatized him. The reason being, his wife and he stayed at one of our (golfing) hotels and, while they were sitting on the balcony, his wife got hit by a golf ball. His request to Front Office to call the police so they could arrest the golf player, was not met with enthusiasm. Which is why he called me - 4 years later.

An other customer called because they booked the orange room but found it too orange to their liking.
Or...
An elderly couple booked a peaceful weekend getaway in a beautiful hotel located in the country, but found there to be too many birds and other wildlife.

Ah well, I could go on and on. You would not believe the stuff people complain about (just to get a refund)... very funny.
As are many of the jokes on here (which I by now have forgotten already, except for the ketchup one and the algebra one - hilarious!).
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Re: Jokes

Postby Alanz » Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:58 pm

What was it that Robbie Burns said " Wherever you may be let your Wind blow free, In Church or Chapel let it rattle", See it all stems from North of the Border. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Dotsie » Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:13 pm

Is that holiday complaint about the weather in Scotland, or are you still on about farts?
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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