Frustration Thread 4

[chris.ph]

same from me as well to broc, del and catch up, you all seem to be having a rough ride at the moment

[Del]

Wow Is there any way you can check that he's not getting her a passport without you knowing?

As for a papertrail, don't forget that you have years' worth on here.

Yeah Batty once helped me track through posts on here ages ago for that reason... but I dont tell everything on here..so much more happens. This IS ultimately my happy place though I do vent at times.

It was non-stop one thing after another from last week... he does that... overload.

And he texts... late in the evening.. so that it registers as a certain date (Morgan told me all this from when she lived with him)... then I had work and getting H's school stuff... you know.. life.. then the weekend (at which time I cant get legal advice!) so it looks like I am not "open to compromise" (in the court orders)... he needed a reply because the cruise price was "only available for 48 hours"... and of course when he finally got the details to me the agents were closed.

No he cant get a passport without my saying "YES" which is what he wanted... once he has it I can apply to have it restricted but that has to go through Federal Courts... if they think I am just being a bit fussy I wont get any help. He cant take her to a non-Hague country unless the arguement to is VERY well formed... and he has his "family" to do that and its been know to have happened. Even if I put a stop on it this IS Australia... wouldnt put it past him to fly her out of a regional airport where things arent watched so closely.

His wife comes from the Phillipines (non-Hague)and they go there. I am wondering if he is thinking about opening a business there for her.

Strange thing was... although H gets on well with her girls she doesnt text them when she is away from them. That happened alot this weekend. Wondering if he has their phone and doing it. There are clauses in family law that pertain to relationships between siblings (yes even step-siblings) and the impact of spending time and bonding that can have implications about who the child lives with. Morgan turns 18 in June and finishes her school so will most probably move out if not before... so he can argue about "family environment with other children".

Or hes just so evil he is playing with her head. He has done that before.

Am I being paranoid? No. I just know him so well. M thinks the same.

[Del]

Thanks for the good wishes guys... its just something I deal with everyday... yay.

[Broccolee]

Oh I know that-don't I know it?Luckily the kids are very open and outgoing,so when they used to come home from his in the evening they used to tell me all the crap he'd been telling them and asked me to explain and tell them if it was true,etc.

But,oh,Honey,you do need help.Can you ask another mum to help you a bit?You need time to sort this out.I wouldn't want let Haydee out of my sight to any country at all if I couldn't help it.What an arse.
We're all here for you to vent,dear,so go ahead.
(((((HUGS)))))

[Batty]

.. .
Then I find he had texted her freaking crap about "Don't get mummy really angry at you sweetie." ...
Argh. He is just setting up a papertrail .

Something is looming.

Text him back. 'Mummy is never really angry with me', or 'Mummy worries about me'. Even: ' I don't like storms.Since you shut me outside in one' ...

OK, maybe H has to write them in her own way, but why not suggest to her what to write? If he wants a paper trail, then give him one!

[Catch-up]

Dotsie, I like your style! Although I'm still working very hard to be nice and diplomatic, the kid gloves are off. Final grades for this marking period are going to be coming in soon and I'm not going to let Ava come up short to spare this woman's feelings. I got an email that she scored a B+ on the science test we only got to study for the night before. Not bad for cramming and shows she's taking in the info at school. But with the appropriate time to study that would have easily been an A for her. Doesn't the school want her to perform at her best? Ava has a lot of focus challenges, but A's on tests are not unusual for her. The idea that we're expected to be happy with 'good enough' infuriates me. And really sorry about the bad dream. It sounds like a stress dream. Have those all the time! Hugs!

Del, Broc, I am so incredibly sorry for what you are dealing with! I honestly don't know what I would do if I had to deal with someone trying to manipulate and emotionally abuse my children. Hugs for all of you! I'll refrain from commenting on what I think of your exes.

[Catch-up]

.. .
Then I find he had texted her freaking crap about "Don't get mummy really angry at you sweetie." ...
Argh. He is just setting up a papertrail .

Something is looming.

Text him back. 'Mummy is never really angry with me', or 'Mummy worries about me'. Even: ' I don't like storms.Since you shut me outside in one' ...

OK, maybe H has to write them in her own way, but why not suggest to her what to write? If he wants a paper trail, then give him one!

HA! Batty, you are officially on my consult list. I like the way you think!

[Broccolee]

Definitly!I agree.The kids used to ask me quite openly,"What are we to say if he says soandso?" And I used to say things like:Well,what does this make you feel like?Do you think he's right?What would you want to say?' And so on.I never told them what to say,but I encouraged them to say what they thought and what most made them mad.Same before court.I didn't want them to be shy or tongue-tied,so I encouraged them to make notes before to remember what they wanted to say and told them what the judge was liable to ask.I also told them to keep a straight back and hold eye contact.I explained what their dad was trying to do and that here was their chance to be heard.
I figured that the court helpers and the judge had seen enough kids who didn't say the truth to see the difference.

But I guess they wouldn't have come clear so well if they hadn't gone in to it a bit more prepared.Talk to Hayden,explain why he does this and ask her what she thinks she could answer.The law is difficult in your parts,I agree but they must take your and,more importantly,her wishes into consideration in my opinion.

[Del]

Children dont have a say in our court system Broc. You can be charged if the children even KNOW a court case is going on. (like right). Their name is even held back after the first mention... its all "the child".

I cant coach Hayden even if I wanted to. She is intellectually disabled. And it would only add more pressure to her anyway. All I can do is talk to her and let her know she can talk to me about anything. He is a master manipulator for highly intelligent people (THATS the game!!!) Can you imagine how easy it is with H. This phone he gave her has ten ways of communicating with her. I am usually not even aware of what is going on sometimes until she slips or gets worried and talks to me.

I am trying so hard to get her a councellor she can talk to but havent had any luck so far.

[Broccolee]

That is soooo bad and wierd....it would be against the law here.He would get sued by the youth office for offensive oppressive behaviour.Get her a new phone...just switch the old one off.

[Del]

Its an iPhone 4 Broc.... He recons she can run some specialist programs for her therapy on it but he hasnt provided any and the ones she needs are upwards of $800 a programme. M says it has a tracking program in it, and yes stumbled across that last night but have no idea how to remove it.

OTHER frustrating things: Its warm here and we have had the house sealed for two days. Wind is blowing so hard we cant open any door or window. I have opened a window for a few minutes on the lee side but so want fresh air.

[Who's Wee Dug]

You could reset it to the manufactures default setting, like when you first got it Del but that would delete all the info that you had put on it on it, unless you had backed up the phone numbers etc.

Or go onto the help line and look for the instructions to remove/delete programes or online to ask how.

Found this if it helps, or try utube
http://alvinalexander.com/blog/post/pag ... pplication

http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/h ... phone.html

[janet]

A sharp tap with a hammer would be my answer to the iphone debacle I'm afraid....free and effective.

[Tonyblack]

Its an iPhone 4 Broc.... He recons she can run some specialist programs for her therapy on it but he hasnt provided any and the ones she needs are upwards of $800 a programme. M says it has a tracking program in it, and yes stumbled across that last night but have no idea how to remove it.

OTHER frustrating things: Its warm here and we have had the house sealed for two days. Wind is blowing so hard we cant open any door or window. I have opened a window for a few minutes on the lee side but so want fresh air.

Del, it seems to me, from Googling that it's Apple that have installed the tracking program. They seem to have done it in all their new iPhones and iPads.

Apparently you can download a free ap that will disable this tracking. There's a video of how here.



Otherwise, check out this story.

[wicked woman]

RSPB Giant Birdwatch today, replenished the feeders and settled down to watch for my regular visitors. Total, 1 collared dove and 1 blackbird! Where's the rest of them???