Not my dumbest moments but I was on the receiving end of other people's. I posted these a long, long time ago but they're worth repeating (imo). When I was working on the cruise ships I was often approached by a passenger (mainly English or American) with a burning question that needed some sort of answer. Here are some of my favourites;
- Passenger: What time is the midnight buffet?
Me: 1 O' Clock. (As staff, rather than crew, we were allowed eat the leftover food from the buffet after 00:30.)
Passenger: Do you live on the ship?
Me: No. A helicopter comes and picks us up every night and flies us back in the morning. (One couple (English) even complained saying that although the cruise was great, the noise from the helicopter woke them up on occasion. I stopped giving this answer afterwards.)
Passenger: Does the ship have its own power supply?
Me: No.We have 1000 miles of cable stretching back to the mainland.
Passenger: Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?
Me: No sarky answer given (leastways not one that I can remember) but I guess she had been watching too much Star Trek.
Passenger: Do these stairs go up or down?
Me: If I remember correctly, I think I just walked away.
Passenger: Where are we?
Me: On a boat, somewhere in the Atlantic ocean. (From the context of our conversation at the time, he wasn't talking about his whereabouts on the ship. I think he actually expected me to know longitude and latitude.)
Passenger: How deep is the water here?
Me: I have no idea. (We were somewhere between New York and Bermuda at the time.)
Passenger: Why don't you know? you work here.
Passenger (American lady from one of the Southern States): Does that swimming pool have freshwater or seawater in it?
Me: We use seawater madam.
Passenger: Gee, that must be why it's got waves in it.