Share your dumbest moments

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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Penfold » Sun Jan 13, 2013 2:01 pm

You posted my epic moment of embarrassment so much more eloquently than I ever could Batty. :lol:

Not my dumbest moments but I was on the receiving end of other people's. I posted these a long, long time ago but they're worth repeating (imo). When I was working on the cruise ships I was often approached by a passenger (mainly English or American) with a burning question that needed some sort of answer. Here are some of my favourites;

    Passenger: What time is the midnight buffet?
    Me: 1 O' Clock. (As staff, rather than crew, we were allowed eat the leftover food from the buffet after 00:30.)

    Passenger: Do you live on the ship?
    Me: No. A helicopter comes and picks us up every night and flies us back in the morning. (One couple (English) even complained saying that although the cruise was great, the noise from the helicopter woke them up on occasion. I stopped giving this answer afterwards.)

    Passenger: Does the ship have its own power supply?
    Me: No.We have 1000 miles of cable stretching back to the mainland.

    Passenger: Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?
    Me: No sarky answer given (leastways not one that I can remember) but I guess she had been watching too much Star Trek.

    Passenger: Do these stairs go up or down?
    Me: If I remember correctly, I think I just walked away.

    Passenger: Where are we?
    Me: On a boat, somewhere in the Atlantic ocean. (From the context of our conversation at the time, he wasn't talking about his whereabouts on the ship. I think he actually expected me to know longitude and latitude.)

    Passenger: How deep is the water here?
    Me: I have no idea. (We were somewhere between New York and Bermuda at the time.)
    Passenger: Why don't you know? you work here.
    Me: :roll:

    Passenger (American lady from one of the Southern States): Does that swimming pool have freshwater or seawater in it?
    Me: We use seawater madam.
    Passenger: Gee, that must be why it's got waves in it.
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Tonyblack » Sun Jan 13, 2013 3:46 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:31 pm

To No. 5 you should have said sideways, Penners
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Conforumist » Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:02 pm

Those are great and sad all at the same time. :?
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Sister Jennifer » Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:41 pm

When I was a teenager I was at the local swimming pool. I had the hots for this guy and I worked up the courage to stroll past him alluringly in my bikini, made eye contact, big smile... and walked into a light post. What's that tune? Ah yeah, 'All By Myself'. That was my song that summer.

:D
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Conforumist » Mon Jan 14, 2013 1:43 am

Sister Jennifer wrote:When I was a teenager I was at the local swimming pool. I had the hots for this guy and I worked up the courage to stroll past him alluringly in my bikini, made eye contact, big smile... and walked into a light post. What's that tune? Ah yeah, 'All By Myself'. That was my song that summer.

:D


I'd like you all the more! ;)
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby raptornx01 » Mon Jan 14, 2013 3:59 am

Agreed :lol:
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Catch-up » Mon Jan 14, 2013 2:16 pm

Great story SJ! :D

I've been wanting to contribute to this thread, knowing that I must have many stories to choose from, but just going blank. I guess I'm good at blocking. :lol: Here's one I was reminded of recently though. I once took the girls out to the farm to help feed the horses because the woman who does it told me what a treat it would be for them. It was breathtaking to watch! We opened the gate and all of the horses came thundering into the stables because they knew it was dinnertime. We don't often get to see them run flat out like that. Not all of the horses had stables though. There were a couple of horses in a small pasture behind the arena that would be given their food in bowls. Instead of taking it in, we were told to just slide the bowls under the fence. The girls were doing this and it kind of got stuck on something. I went to push it with my foot and, without thinking about it, reached my hand out to hold the fence to steady myself. What runs along the top of the fence? Yep. An electrified wire. This wasn't a secret. I knew it was there. :roll: I still remember what it felt like to have that shock hit my hand, go straight through my lower arm and zap right out of my elbow.
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Dotsie » Mon Jan 14, 2013 4:26 pm

Ouchy! :o

I've never done anything. I'm too cool 8-)
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Ghost » Mon Jan 14, 2013 4:47 pm

Dotsie wrote:Ouchy! :o

I've never done anything. I'm too cool 8-)
you've never don't anything that you would want to confess and open yourself to up to ridicule and a little light hearted banter :geek:
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Dotsie » Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:17 pm

No, it's definitely the cool thing.
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby Ghost » Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:20 pm

Dotsie wrote:No, it's definitely the cool thing.

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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby chris.ph » Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:33 pm

turned a tap on on hms endurance and steam slammed out of the tap and i came out with "f@@@ thats hot" to the retort "of its steam what do you effing expect" one of the engineers got right in the cachy for it tho and the deckhead in the galley came up lovely and clean after being steam cleaned :lol: :lol:
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby chris.ph » Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:34 pm

hacked all the plaster on a wall upto a line my boss had written on the wall he meant down from the ceiling :lol: :lol: :lol:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Re: Share your dumbest moments

Postby chris.ph » Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:39 pm

stephen jones the ex wales and llanelli fly half was walking passed the site so i went out and asked if he wanted to come in and say hello to all the swansea/osprey fans on the site(only for rugby fans) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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