Frustration Thread 4

[Ghost]

[Batty]

Do you have a mobile phone with a voice recorder function?? If you left your phone on the table, no one would even realize that you were recording anything!

[cheery_j.]

I really wouldn't do that if I were you. Just imagine how you would feel if someone secretly recorded you!
This will certainly not help to create an atmosphere of trust and therefore won't be good for your children. You can't expect someone to work with you if you show in such a way that you don't trust them.

I'm not saying that the teachers will be intentionally mean to your kids, but if a parent secretly recorded a conversation with me I would
a) not have the feeling that they were trying to work together with me for the best of their child.
b) sue them. I don't know about the US, but here such a thing would be illegal on top of nasty.

[michelanCello]

Wouldn't do it secretly either, but surely you explain that it's easier for you to make notes that way, they'll let you record it?

[Ghost]

should do

[Catch-up]

Cheery, I promise you I would never, ever do that! I was thinking of you while we were joking about the pen and thinking how horrified you'd be when you read it. I'm almost positive it's illegal here too and I could get sued. While it would be a huge help in the note-taking department, the suggestion would be taken offensively. Saying you need to record a school meeting is like throwing down a gauntlet. No one would believe that's why I wanted to record it. And, honestly, if things ever got so bad that I felt I needed to record it, I wouldn't let my child go there.

Anyway, the meeting went fairly well and I wrote as quickly as I could. I also typed up notes as soon as I got home while they were fresh in my memory. I typed them right into the body of the agenda and emailed it to them. That confirms what was said and is their opportunity to speak up if they don't agree with something I've written.

I had to spend the first few minutes of the meeting dealing with the teacher's hurt feelings. I did my best to be kind and semi-apologetic to move the meeting along, but man, that is one of my biggest peeves. Why is it when some people screw up, they think they have the right to have hurt feelings when they get called on it? She screwed up, got called on it, her feelings were hurt and I'm the bad guy? You gotta be kidding me. It was nauseating. She said, "Your email was hurtful. It made me feel like I didn't do my job." I almost had an aneurism trying not to say, "You didn't do your [Q/]EFF![/Q]ing job! If you had we wouldn't be sitting here!" What about the several hours of work I had to do because she didn't do her job? I didn't whine about that to her.

So after two months of trying to get some sort of positive or negative feedback out of her, I finally get an admission that she just doesn't know. First, she tried to tell me that she gave me the feedback when I asked for it. Another unreal moment. I looked her right in the eye and said, "No. I would ask you for the feedback and instead of answering you would offer to try some tracking, which you never followed through on. Or, you would offer to set up a group meeting, which you also never followed through on." She got pissy over that, but knew it was the truth and finally said, "The reason why I never answered you is because I just don't know!" And I said, "Thank you! That's an answer." I mean, what? Did she think I didn't notice that she wasn't actually answering me for 2 months?

Sorry, it wasn't my intention to give a blow by blow here. The end result is I pushed the plan on my agenda, the principal was all for it, so the teacher had to go along. This was nothing outrageous, simply an outline of how it's been handled by the elementary schools in the past. I'm still completely baffled though. Without a doubt, I can't be the only parent in this situation. So how do the other parents get this info? Isn't there some sort of basic, routine plan in place for these situations? But, I couldn't ask those questions without spending our time rehashing what's gone wrong. I didn't have time for that. I had to use the time to make sure things go the way they're supposed from this point on.

[Ghost]

Jesus Christ I'm with you on that

[raisindot]

Wow, Catch, you set the perfect example of how to take charge of these kinds of situations (or any situation where you need to confront someone over their neglect or incompetence. You stated the facts, which caught the teacher in a lie in front of the principal, without resorting to ad hominem or hysterics. Maybe you ought to become a lawyer!

[Catch-up]

Unfortunately, the principal was out of the room for that part. Figures, huh? He got a call he had to take and was gone for just a couple of minutes. But, maybe she wouldn't have come out and said those things if he'd been there and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to call her on it. It may not have happened in front of her boss, but hopefully she'll think twice about BS-ing me in the future. You'd think anyway!

And thanks for the compliment Raisin. I was fortunate enough to expect her to say those things and prep myself for it. I'm sorry to say that I've had some bad experiences in the past that taught me to keep every email and write everything down. I don't think I could become a lawyer. I have no patience with certain types of behavior and may give in to the urge to punch someone.

[Dotsie]

Catch-up, you're doing a brilliant job If my kids need help at school in the future, I'm going to fly you over

[chillicamper]

Catch-up......sorry I've missed all these posts. Hope things get sorted with the school soon - seems like its going in the right direction anyway.

Not been around much. Still recovering from flu which just totally wiped me (and the whole family) out for 10 days over new year. I'm still feeling really tired -to the point that walking 100 yards from the car to the office is a major struggle! Then driving the camper home from work the other day I had a red light of doom on the dash. Pulled over to see what the problem was, but I was on a dual carriageway in the dark with 44 tonners hurtling past at 70 mph......so chickened out and called the AA.

The AA man couldn't find anything wrong and the van restarted. He followed me 3 miles home to check it didn't happen again. So now I have to try and find some intermitent fault in 38 yr old wiring to try and prevent it happening again. Which means crawling around under the van this weekend checking earth straps etc - REALLY don't feel up to doing that Oh and it looks like it might snow this weekend as well - I don't have a garage!

On top of everything, both Karen & the kids are all still recovering from the flu.......and feeling as washed out and knackered as me.

Hoping the New Year starts to get better soon!

[wicked woman]

Catch-up......sorry I've missed all these posts. Hope things get sorted with the school soon - seems like its going in the right direction anyway.

Not been around much. Still recovering from flu which just totally wiped me (and the whole family) out for 10 days over new year. I'm still feeling really tired -to the point that walking 100 yards from the car to the office is a major struggle! Then driving the camper home from work the other day I had a red light of doom on the dash. Pulled over to see what the problem was, but I was on a dual carriageway in the dark with 44 tonners hurtling past at 70 mph......so chickened out and called the AA.

The AA man couldn't find anything wrong and the van restarted. He followed me 3 miles home to check it didn't happen again. So now I have to try and find some intermitent fault in 38 yr old wiring to try and prevent it happening again. Which means crawling around under the van this weekend checking earth straps etc - REALLY don't feel up to doing that Oh and it looks like it might snow this weekend as well - I don't have a garage!

On top of everything, both Karen & the kids are all still recovering from the flu.......and feeling as washed out and knackered as me.

Hoping the New Year starts to get better soon!

Hoping you all feel better soon.

[Catch-up]

Dotsie, I'd be more than willing to try! I'll bet between the two of us we can get them to agree to anything.

Chilli, I am so sorry you're all still feeling so ill. I've heard so many reports of how nasty the flu is this year. And really sorry about your camper. I hope it's something easy to fix. Not what you need right now!

[Conforumist]

I don't really know where to post this...

I did not get the position that I applied for at work.
I really feel I have proved myself. They said they had some really strong candidates from outside the company and they went with them instead.
I'm pretty upset, but I prayed that God would do what was best for me, so I have to believe that this is it, or that something else may come along.

[AuntyVague]

I'm very sorry to hear that Con. It would be a hard one to find a positive slant on, but I hope there is something better around the corner for you.

Hope that you and all the family are feeling better soon Chilli and that you get that camper fixed...if old VWs are ever really fixed

Wow, Catch-up, I'm also going to be in touch if I ever need an advocate! I'm useless in those situations and would probably have ended up patting the teacher on the back while apologising to them