Frustration Thread 4

[Del]

Oh mC. How terrible. I thought you lived in the city in Budapest? Was anyone living in this house? Or is it a holiday home?

I am hoping it is ... and its still TERRIBLE news... but hopefully you are in somewhere safe and livable right now. What nasty news after such a wonderful holiday for you and I hope it can be fixed soon.

[Del]

Not happy. M the teen is heading down into New South Wales for a camping trip with ten friends..... on a day described as the worst day ever for fires. I know I'm being slightly irrational and the worst danger is further south... but tomorrow the heatwave will hit where she will be. Yes it's near the sea... but there's a total fire ban as well. Have they thought how they are going to cook food? Been drilling her on how to drive thought smoke. registering with a local authority if the risk goes up. etc etc etc. I am sure she will be perfectly fine. And I am not usually a hovering parent.

But...agh.

[michelanCello]

I can imagine you're frustrated, Del, but I'm sure everything's going to be just fine! They can take sandwiches so they won't have to cook and maybe they can always have lots of water on them just to make sure...?

Thank everyone for the support, feeling better now, and at least I've got heating, yay! Gasman is coming thursday morning, so I'm now doing the big shower test of the year! Have taken a shower at 3 different places now, it's kinda fun, it's a new project Though I don't have anywhere to go yet for tomorrow, but solution will present itself, I hope
Del, I do live in Bp, the house is a sort of holiday house, it's where I was brought up, we were living there as a family till my 6th... nobody has lived there for aaaaages, my mom had a lot of work with it, renovating and stuff, but since she's gone I haven't done a thing with it... been for sale, but nobody wants it...

[Del]

Oh mC. Your poor house. Holiday homes are always filled with special memories. I can't imagine you being in winter in Budapest with heat or hot water. We were whimpy about losing our hot water last winter when it was almost your summer temps. Glad to hear it's almost ffixed .

Morgan is going camping for four or five days. it's not the heatwave much... though last summer she got severely dehydrated twice. ... the heatwave is pushing bushfires along with it. Today and tomorrow are going to be the worse danger for the in history. 100 fires already burning. But the majority of those in the south and west. All National parks are evacuated state wide but she says it's a camping ground.... tried to tell her if it's a camping ground IN a national park then they won't be allowed to enter... its moving up the coast.

At least I made her put the fire hotline in her phone.. and the website.

[cheery_j.]

I'm now doing the big shower test of the year! Have taken a shower at 3 different places now, it's kinda fun, it's a new project Though I don't have anywhere to go yet for tomorrow, but solution will present itself, I hope

You are lovely! If it wasn't so far away I would offer our shower. We have enough bathrooms to squeeze in an extra showerer (showeree?).

Many many winters ago we went on holiday to Tunisia. When we left to fly home again it was a very warm day there - about 25°C (on the 31st of December this is warm, even for northern Africa), but at home they had been hit by a cold front from Russia with temperatures between -10 and -20 for days.

So when we arrived it was like a shock - a temperature difference of almost 40° in about 3 hours! The second shock was when I opened my door: the flat was ice cold and all my plants were dead. The water boiler had been taken apart and there was a looooong letter from the friend who had the keys to my flat.

As it turned out, the cold had hit within the first days of our holiday and the water pipes were frozen. This meant that my boiler was broken, the people living above me had no water over Christmas (!!) because the pipes in my flat were frozen and my poor friend (who - strangely enough - is still my friend) had to go there every day and refill the oil heaters, so the flat would at least keep above freezing temperatures so that the same wouldn't happen again.

I couldn't get anyone to repair the boilers for days, because some areas in our town use long-distance heating and because some of those pipes were broken as well, they had neither heating, nor hot water. So of course all the available technicians and plumbers were working there. At least I could heat my flat and could heat water on the stove - I only had to decide whether I wanted to smell or shower at bf's.

[michelanCello]

Jee, Cheery! Ok, it's not that bad here, at least nothing is frozen... and my plants are still alive-ish..

Del, I'm sure M will be fine and you will have had nothing to worry about, even though I totally understand your concern... but it's only for a couple of days, she'll be back soon!

[Catch-up]

Del, I hope M's camping trip goes smoothly!

I am so upset, I feel sick to my stomach. After I dropped the girls off at the bus this morning, I stopped to talk to the woman who was doing crossing guard duty. She works at the school and her son was in Thing 1's class last year. She told me that her son is dealing with a really serious bullying problem and the school is failing to follow through on their zero tolerance policy (they started middle school this year). When she told me what was happening to him and how badly it was affecting him, I just wanted to cry. I still feel like crying.

And, please - pretty please - if anyone here even thinks of posting some BS comment about how this is just something boys do or how it's just some rite of passage... please, just don't.

[Del]

it's not catch-up. Loads of schools SAY they have a zero policy but its only as good as the teachers who police it. It's hard. Hayden says hers is... but then I finally find out last year that her teacher thought teen girls teasing and gossiping was 'normal' and did not see it as bullying.

Many years ago I walked into a school and found my 8yr old.. now 25...being hit badly not ten feet from a teacher. I walked out of the school with her that minute and enrolled her in another school the next day. and the new school was brilliant. It's not always that easy.

HUGS hun.

As for Morgan... no I trust her... after all she had already lived away from home for a year before she came back. .. and she's been camping many times.. it's just the fires.

[Catch-up]

I remember that story about Hayden's teacher. Unreal! They have all these anti-bullying assemblies and seminars and then they don't recognize it when it's right in their face? And how in the world do you ignore/not punish a student for physical assault?! The middle school is falling far short of our elementary schools in many ways. I regularly deal with one of the staff members this other mother referenced. I don't think she's a bad person, or a bad teacher, but perhaps she should have retired a couple of years ago. For a large chunk of the year I've put a lot of effort into getting a very simple answer to a very simple question I have, truly as simple as a "yes" or "no" answer - and I can't seem to get it! She of all people should know the answer and I can't think of any reason at all why she wouldn't want to answer it. I never had this problem at the elementary schools! I'm making every effort in the world not to say one of those things that you can never, ever take back.

[Ghost]

it's horrendous what the bullies get away with when I was at school I was pinned to a fence by two girls whilst a further three sprayed me with perfume, deodorant and hairspray and to finish all five of them flicked matches at me to see if I would burn
and my Mom said it was my fault for not changing my route home
to this day any perfume or spay of any kind makes me gag

[Del]

OMG Ghost! See thats what I mean... thats assault not bullying as far as I'm concerned.

Catch-up... can you change his teacher? his class?... or at worst, his school.

Sometimes a fresh start at a new school means the child has no "history" from the old school as being a victim.

[Dotsie]

I would love to see what would happen if one of the teachers was getting bullied I would really struggle not to say something regrettable catch-up, you have my sympathies there. I have a zero tolerance policy on useless teachers

[cheery_j.]

God - kids can be horrible!

I'd like to believe that we do not tolerate bullying in my school. I know that the colleagues I regularly talk to take it seriously (you never know about everyone, there's about 150 staff members in my school...) and we have a very successful intervention team. However, there's probably a lot going on that we don't notice, I'm afraid. Especially with all the new ways of bullying that kids have today (f*c*book!!!).

I had that kid in my class who I just KNEW was hitting others, he only managed never to get caught and the others were so afraid of him that they didn't speak up for quite a long time - it was so frustrating! In the end his cronies told on him accidentally when they were trying to give him an alibi for one occasion (one of my colleagues was doing some sterling detective work there) and the head was down on him like a ton of bricks.

It's so important that the other children feel they can talk to someone, without thinking they're snitching on their classmates.

And it is also important that they know what is bullying and what is not. Some kids really do overuse the term and call every fight and every bad word bullying... ("No, if you kick him and he kicks you back he's not bullying you - but I would like to have a word with both your parents because neither of you is supposed to kick ANYONE." )

[Batty]

... I stopped to talk to the woman who was doing crossing guard duty. She works at the school and her son was in Thing 1's class last year. She told me that her son is dealing with a really serious bullying problem and the school is failing to follow through on their zero tolerance policy

The chances are that her son is not the only child being bullied. Can all the mother's call a meeting amongst themselves, to discuss if there is more than one child being bullied, and then go en massse to the school and demand action be taken?

[Del]

It's so important that the other children feel they can talk to someone, without thinking they're snitching on their classmates.

And it is also important that they know what is bullying and what is not. Some kids really do overuse the term and call every fight and every bad word bullying... ("No, if you kick him and he kicks you back he's not bullying you - but I would like to have a word with both your parents because neither of you is supposed to kick ANYONE." )

Yep done that one Cheery_j.

Unfortunately H has intellectual disabilities... so its hard to teach her to walk away... (the first strategy) She will just stand there and listen.. which just eggs the bullies on more.

I have H on Facebook this year (in the loungeroom in full view and I have to have her password). The school and I am trying to teach her about "ignore" and stuff because it will be a big part of her high school life. Yeah! GREAT idea for the teachers to START so now they have most of the kids signed up and geeeeee ... lesson about Facebook over and they move on. and all these kids are freely on Facebook. Its mostly nice but not every parent is watching as closely as I am and it can get nasty. Fortunately Facebook is the only thing the school DOES seem to take seriously and they will nip it inthe bud big time if anything happens (reported I mean... nothing happens if its not reported). Its part of the school rules here in Queensland.

Its a hard call being a teacher... luckily my kids have had the MAJORITY of their teachers as being engaged and wonderful teachers... but gee when you get a bad one.....

I have three of my nieces who are teachers.. all excellent btw... but then they are all from the same mother and all have the same high standards... and since one of the other nieces has an autisic child they are also more than aware of kids with special needs. As they like to argue... its hard to be the best teacher they CAN be to each and every child when your class size is 50.

Batty: calling all mums up to talk to the teachers is hard to do unless the problem is HUGE.... or when every parent thinks the bully is every child BUT theirs.... I remember one little girl who was the worst offender from pre-school right through to Senior High School and butter wouldnt melt in her mouth.... made all the teams, debating teams, captain... kids were either too afraid to say anything, or the teacher couldnt imagine her being like that, or (once) her mother would threaten legal action if her daughter was punished in any way... and her mother had alot of power... (wonder where the daughter learnt it from huh?).

National politics is NOTHING compared to middle school politics.