Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

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Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Tonyblack » Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:42 pm

Time for a new thread. :D

You can find the original thread here.
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Quatermass » Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:43 pm

Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. :( Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Tonyblack » Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:47 pm

Quatermass wrote:Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. :( Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?

Nope - unless it's the book that Bernard Cornwell wrote under the name of Susanne Kells and doesn't list under his former works.

You did say that your post was "the perfect last words". :)
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Quatermass » Fri Dec 21, 2012 1:49 pm

Tonyblack wrote:
Quatermass wrote:Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. :( Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?

Nope - unless it's the book that Bernard Cornwell wrote under the name of Susanne Kells and doesn't list under his former works.

You did say that your post was "the perfect last words". :)


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_(joke)

Be warned: no pictures, but the joke, or rather the description thereof, is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby raptornx01 » Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:25 pm

I know OF the joke, but never heard. been wanting to see the movie about it. The one where they got 100 different comedians to tell the version of the joke they had heard. it seemed interesting.
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Quatermass » Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:16 pm

So, to add to the new Aristocrats joke that is this thread, we have corrupt customs officials and a judge overruling a boy's mother so that said boy can get radiotherapy for a tumour.

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/TopStories/2012/12/22/Calls_for_an_explanation_on_customs_829036.html

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/TopStories/2012/12/22/Tumour_boy_can_have_radiotherapy_-_judge_829019.html
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby raisindot » Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:56 pm

Quatermass wrote:Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. :( Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?


Yes, I have. Yours just wasn't a particularly funny joke. (Then again, neither is the original).
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby raisindot » Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:57 pm

raptornx01 wrote:I know OF the joke, but never heard. been wanting to see the movie about it. The one where they got 100 different comedians to tell the version of the joke they had heard. it seemed interesting.


I saw the film. It's not that interesting.
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Quatermass » Sat Dec 22, 2012 12:08 am

raisindot wrote:
Quatermass wrote:Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. :( Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?


Yes, I have. Yours just wasn't a particularly funny joke. (Then again, neither is the original).


Yes, but comparing the death, destruction, and dirty business around the world TO The Aristocrats was funny, I thought. :(

I was inspired by a sequence at the start of episode 3 of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, where a defeated Alucard is being berated by van Helsing about the atrocities he has committed.

Sir Hellsing: Vampire King... You lay upon the blood soaked dirt of your ruined land, castles plundered, dominions in ruin, servants destroyed, all to end the hellfire with which you sought to cover the world. A bloody conquest having consumed hundreds of thousands, countless villages razed to the ground, and over twenty thousand impaled and prostrated by you and you alone, to strike horror into the hearts of mortal men! WHAT SAY YOU!? MONSTER! DEMON! DEVIL CONCEIVED BY THE BLEAKEST WOMB! WHAT SAY YOU NOW!?

Alucard (half-dead): .....The Aristocrats.
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Watchman44 » Sat Dec 22, 2012 4:46 am

Who watches the watchman.......
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Quatermass » Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:10 am



I can't help but laugh at that, even though it was serious. :lol:
"What have you been doing since you stole that antique TARDIS of yours, since you first landed on Skaro? Shouting 'Look at me!!! I'm not fighting a war!', while you battle the Daleks all the way through space and time."

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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby ChristianBecker » Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:49 am

Quatermass wrote:a judge overruling a boy's mother so that said boy can get radiotherapy for a tumour.

So, what made you speechless? That a judge had to interfere or that a judge did interfere?
On with their heads! I'm the clown prince of fools
if you don't get the joke it's your loss
Love and laughter you see are the new currency
'cause greed's coinage is not worth a toss

Exile yourself to the unforgiving continent of Wraeclast!
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Quatermass » Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:43 am

ChristianBecker wrote:
Quatermass wrote:a judge overruling a boy's mother so that said boy can get radiotherapy for a tumour.

So, what made you speechless? That a judge had to interfere or that a judge did interfere?


Durrr. That a judge had to interfere. That mother was off with the pixies. Radiotherapy may not be a great solution, but it would have been better compared to anything else that could have been done. :roll:
"What have you been doing since you stole that antique TARDIS of yours, since you first landed on Skaro? Shouting 'Look at me!!! I'm not fighting a war!', while you battle the Daleks all the way through space and time."

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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby ChristianBecker » Sat Dec 22, 2012 12:46 pm

Ah, ok. Thanks for the clarification. Yeah, leaves you really speechless. It's like those people who won't hear anything of teh evil chemical drugs and want homeopathic stuff when they should really go see a doctor and probably get antibiotics as fast as possible.
On with their heads! I'm the clown prince of fools
if you don't get the joke it's your loss
Love and laughter you see are the new currency
'cause greed's coinage is not worth a toss

Exile yourself to the unforgiving continent of Wraeclast!
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Re: Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

Postby Quatermass » Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:06 am

"What have you been doing since you stole that antique TARDIS of yours, since you first landed on Skaro? Shouting 'Look at me!!! I'm not fighting a war!', while you battle the Daleks all the way through space and time."

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