Headlines That Left You Speechless 2

[Tonyblack]

Time for a new thread.

You can find the original thread here.

[Quatermass]

Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?

[Tonyblack]

Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?

Nope - unless it's the book that Bernard Cornwell wrote under the name of Susanne Kells and doesn't list under his former works.

You did say that your post was "the perfect last words".

[Quatermass]

Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?

Nope - unless it's the book that Bernard Cornwell wrote under the name of Susanne Kells and doesn't list under his former works.

You did say that your post was "the perfect last words".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_(joke)

Be warned: no pictures, but the joke, or rather the description thereof, is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

[raptornx01]

I know OF the joke, but never heard. been wanting to see the movie about it. The one where they got 100 different comedians to tell the version of the joke they had heard. it seemed interesting.

[Quatermass]

So, to add to the new Aristocrats joke that is this thread, we have corrupt customs officials and a judge overruling a boy's mother so that said boy can get radiotherapy for a tumour.

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/TopStories/2012/12/22/Calls_for_an_explanation_on_customs_829036.html

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/TopStories/2012/12/22/Tumour_boy_can_have_radiotherapy_-_judge_829019.html

[raisindot]

Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?

Yes, I have. Yours just wasn't a particularly funny joke. (Then again, neither is the original).

[raisindot]

I know OF the joke, but never heard. been wanting to see the movie about it. The one where they got 100 different comedians to tell the version of the joke they had heard. it seemed interesting.

I saw the film. It's not that interesting.

[Quatermass]

Nobody laughed at my The Aristocrats joke. Seriously, is there anyone on this forum who has heard of it?

Yes, I have. Yours just wasn't a particularly funny joke. (Then again, neither is the original).

Yes, but comparing the death, destruction, and dirty business around the world TO The Aristocrats was funny, I thought.

I was inspired by a sequence at the start of episode 3 of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, where a defeated Alucard is being berated by van Helsing about the atrocities he has committed.

Sir Hellsing: Vampire King... You lay upon the blood soaked dirt of your ruined land, castles plundered, dominions in ruin, servants destroyed, all to end the hellfire with which you sought to cover the world. A bloody conquest having consumed hundreds of thousands, countless villages razed to the ground, and over twenty thousand impaled and prostrated by you and you alone, to strike horror into the hearts of mortal men! WHAT SAY YOU!? MONSTER! DEMON! DEVIL CONCEIVED BY THE BLEAKEST WOMB! WHAT SAY YOU NOW!?

Alucard (half-dead): .....The Aristocrats.

[Watchman44]

Brussels sprouts 'overdose' hospitalised man at Christmas, report reveals

[Quatermass]

Brussels sprouts 'overdose' hospitalised man at Christmas, report reveals

I can't help but laugh at that, even though it was serious.

[ChristianBecker]

a judge overruling a boy's mother so that said boy can get radiotherapy for a tumour.

So, what made you speechless? That a judge had to interfere or that a judge did interfere?

[Quatermass]

a judge overruling a boy's mother so that said boy can get radiotherapy for a tumour.

So, what made you speechless? That a judge had to interfere or that a judge did interfere?

Durrr. That a judge had to interfere. That mother was off with the pixies. Radiotherapy may not be a great solution, but it would have been better compared to anything else that could have been done.

[ChristianBecker]

Ah, ok. Thanks for the clarification. Yeah, leaves you really speechless. It's like those people who won't hear anything of teh evil chemical drugs and want homeopathic stuff when they should really go see a doctor and probably get antibiotics as fast as possible.

[Quatermass]

Okay, well, here's some more headlines:

Man bites snake!

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/OddSpot/2012/12/21/Man_bites_head_off_snake_828812.html?cid=ZBP_NEWS_L_L6-9_Manbitesheadoffsnake_RSS_211212

Man jailed in Japan for supposedly stealing 10 Yen from temple donation box (about 12 cents here in Australia...)!

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/OddSpot/2012/12/22/Japanese_man_jailed_for_12_cent_theft_829164.html?cid=ZBP_NEWS_L_L6-2_Japanesemanjailedfor12centtheft_RSS_221212

Toddler-snatching eagle video goes viral, and is revealed to be BS!

http://bigpondnews.com/articles/OddSpot/2012/12/22/Baby_snatching_eagle_video_goes_viral_829065.html?cid=ZBP_NEWS_L_L6-5_Babysnatchingeaglevideogoesviral_RSS_211212