Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Ghost » Wed Dec 12, 2012 1:51 pm

Image
baa humbug
Last edited by Ghost on Wed Dec 12, 2012 3:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Quatermass » Wed Dec 12, 2012 1:53 pm

Okay, well, how about we step things up a notch? BAM!

How about what happens if you fuse Dragonball Z with Christmas? Thanks to the abridging group Team Four Star, now you know. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to you Dragonball Z Abridged: Christmas Tree of Might.



I've lived for over 2000 years, and not all of them were good ones. I've made many mistakes. And it's about time I did something about that.

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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby ChristianBecker » Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:15 pm

!gubmuh aaB
On with their heads! I'm the clown prince of fools
if you don't get the joke it's your loss
Love and laughter you see are the new currency
'cause greed's coinage is not worth a toss

Exile yourself to the unforgiving continent of Wraeclast!
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Del » Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:52 pm

ChristianBecker wrote:!gubmuh aaB


I baa at your gubmuh and raise you a tfffffffhp.

You know Haydee who pops on here now and again? Daughter. Writes in mirror writing as the norm... haven't been able to break that glitch except when she types.

:lol:
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Del » Fri Dec 14, 2012 8:49 am

Does Santa Exist?  The Scientific Approach1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Quatermass » Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:48 am

...

Del, what did I say about dead Santa jokes? :|

Actually, in a few of the strips of the Azumanga Daioh manga, some of the schoolgirls speculate how Santa delivers presents. What they come up with is pretty bizarre. For example, they decide that Santa must be subsidised by the government, and is an excellent lockpicker. :lol:
I've lived for over 2000 years, and not all of them were good ones. I've made many mistakes. And it's about time I did something about that.

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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Ghost » Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:48 pm

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Ooh you cheeky little sea winkle
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Alanz » Sat Dec 15, 2012 7:30 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Bet he won't be doing that next year :lol: :lol:
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Sat Dec 15, 2012 10:21 pm

Maybe he was not happy with his pressie. :mrgreen:
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Quatermass » Sat Dec 15, 2012 11:45 pm

He sure won't be happy with the next one. I don't think coal will be what Santa gives him, unless it's applied rectally. :?
I've lived for over 2000 years, and not all of them were good ones. I've made many mistakes. And it's about time I did something about that.

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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Sister Jennifer » Sun Dec 16, 2012 2:07 am

That's a big punch for a little kid.

Might be a clip of Superman when he was a youngster, "I don't want no Batman toys!!"
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby ChristianBecker » Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:36 am

Quatermass wrote:He sure won't be happy with the next one. I don't think coal will be what Santa gives him, unless it's applied rectally. :?

Ah, I think I could make a coal suppository. Do you think there is a market? Coal is more commonly administered orally.
On with their heads! I'm the clown prince of fools
if you don't get the joke it's your loss
Love and laughter you see are the new currency
'cause greed's coinage is not worth a toss

Exile yourself to the unforgiving continent of Wraeclast!
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Quatermass » Sun Dec 16, 2012 11:37 am

ChristianBecker wrote:
Quatermass wrote:He sure won't be happy with the next one. I don't think coal will be what Santa gives him, unless it's applied rectally. :?

Ah, I think I could make a coal suppository. Do you think there is a market? Coal is more commonly administered orally.


...

I'm torn between laughing my derriere off, and demanding, bemusedly, in what context should coal be delivered orally? :?
I've lived for over 2000 years, and not all of them were good ones. I've made many mistakes. And it's about time I did something about that.

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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby cheery_j. » Sun Dec 16, 2012 5:55 pm

It is used against poisoning. so if you are taken to the hospital because you were found unconscious with an empty pack of sleeping pills next to you, they will pump you full of the stuff to soak up the poison. Also if you have diarrhea you can eat coal tablets to calm your insides down by removing poisonous stuff.

And it's not quite like the coal you use for heating. It's the same stuff that is used in filters.

Please correct me, Christian.
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Re: Let this be the Bah Humbug thread...

Postby Sister Jennifer » Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:30 pm

^ That sounds right.
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