How to get to Heaven from Scotland …
I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.
I asked them, "If I sold my house and my
Car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
Money to the church, would that get me
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
The garden and kept everything tidy, would
That get me into heaven?"
Again, the answer was 'No!'
By now I was starting to smile.
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
Gave sweets to all the children and
Loved my husband, would that get me
Again, they all answered 'No!'
I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
A six year old boy shouted,
"Yuv got tae be fukin' dead"
Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye...
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.