And talking of Detroit...........
Idiots For LawyersNo. 1
When Brian Hardman, 22, allegedly tried to carjack an older man in Detroit, Mich., he picked the wrong target: Leonard Turner, 47, is a retired middleweight boxer. Turner had pulled into a gas station to put air in a tire. "I was squatting near the tire and he comes up and says, 'I ain't trying to rob you -- but give me what you got, and tell that [expletive] to get out of the car," Turner testified in Hardman's preliminary hearing.
The robber had a gun, so "I grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground," Turner said. The man's finger was on the trigger, so he aimed the gun safely and forced him to pull it. "After I shot the gun off until it was empty, I grabbed it from him," Turner continued. "He got up and said, 'Give me my gun back; I got a [permit].'"
Turner wouldn't have any of that: "I hit him with the gun," he said. And with that, Hardman's attorney Jonathan Jones made his move: the charge for his client should certainly not be carjacking, he told the judge, because Hartman didn't have a gun during the entire crime.
"The reason he didn't have the gun on him," Judge Shannon A. Holmes replied, "is because the defendant got his butt whipped, and Mr. Turner took the gun from him." He ordered Hardman to stand trial for carjacking, armed robbery, and assault.
No. 2
Samuel Cutrufelli, 31, broke into a home in Greenbrae, Calif., and tied up the resident, Jay Leone, 90. Leone escaped and grabbed a gun, but Cutrufelli opened fire first, shooting the elderly man in the face.
Leone returned fire, hitting the burglar several times. Cutrufelli got Leone's gun away, put it to the man's head, and pulled the trigger -- but it had run out of bullets.
Both men survived ...and Cutrufelli has sued Leone, calling him a vigilante. The suit says the victim "negligently shot" the burglar, which caused "great bodily injury, and other financial damage, including loss of Mr. Cutrufelli's home, and also the dissolution of Mr. Cutrufelli's marriage."
Cutrufelli's attorney, Sanford Troy, defended the tactic, saying it's "definitely a six-figure case. It may be a seven-figure case," speculating on the possible winnings for the burglar.
As far as the criminal case, "We, in the defense, have to prove zip," Troy told the jury. "El Zippo, as they say in Spanish." Later, he noted that "This case stinks like fish that hasn't been in the refrigerator for a week."
After just a few hours of deliberation, the jury convicted Cutrufelli of all charges, and he faces life in prison.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.
The rest of us are a bit crap.