The Tale of Amber and Jasper - The Song

[engineeringsimon]

In the novel "Moving Pictures", we are introduced to a troll named Ruby singing in a troll bar in Holy Wood. She is singing a romantic song about Amber and Jasper.

I reckon this is how it might go...
http://soundcloud.com/engineeringsimon/ ... and-jasper

Sheet music is here. A PDF of the vocal part is here.

I couldn't find a troll to sing so I made do with my wife, Shari.
I played all the other instruments, which are all real.

Here are the Lyrics:

Here's a lesson for all you guys of granite
Listen to Amber's favourite sight.
On her mantelpiece, there's a half a troll
looking surprised, Jasper was on a roll.

You see Amber and Jasper, they had a thing
With shiny rocks and some lava ice cream.
But when she made him conglomerate stew
she rocked by his cave and what did he do.

He was sharin' 'round his stalagmite, with a
Cute little pink Sphaerocobaltite.
So thump thump thump. She broke her best club.
But now they both have him next to the grog.

Here is the bit from the book (page 99 on my copy):

There was a sudden silence from the combo in the smoke. One of the trolls picked up a small rock and started to pound it gently, producing a slow, sticky rhythm that clung to the walls like smoke. And from the smoke, Ruby emerged like a galleon out of the fog, with a ridiculous feather boa around her neck.

It was continental drift with curves.
She began to sing.
The trolls stood in respectful silence. After a while Victor heard a sob. Tears were rolling down Rock's face.
"What's the song about?" he whispered.
Rock leaned down.
"Is ancient folklorique troll song," he said. "Is about Amber and Jasper. They were -- " he hestitated, and waved his hands about vaguely. "Friends. Good friends?"
"I think I know what you mean," said Victor.
"And one day Amber takes her troll's dinner down to the cave and finds him--" Rock waved his hands in vague yet thoroughly descriptive motions "-- with another lady troll. So she go home and get her club and come back and beat him to death, thump, thump, thump. 'Cos he was her troll and he done her wrong. Is very romantic song."

[wicked woman]

That is so good.

[Tonyblack]

Love it!

[Penfold]

Love the bass line through it and Shari's singing. Can we have some more please?

[engineeringsimon]

Thanks!

I was quite pleased with the Upright Bass. I didn't have an expensive sample library with the Upright Bass sound in it, so I grabbed a coffee cup, a pencil, a paperclip, some sticky tape, a rubber band, and a pocket knife.

After calculating the correct hole size using a formula related to a helmholtz resonator and cutting it out with the pocket knife, I had the instrument I needed.

Here is a picture.


Unfortunately, the Coffee Cup Bass is almost impossible to play. So I sampled it and played through a MIDI keyboard.

[Dotsie]

You're certainly resourceful! Well done

[Penfold]

A magician really shouldn't give away his secrets, you know.

[Jan Van Quirm]

Stalagmite... *does old mnemonic - 'tites' fall down, mites go up....*

That's a bit rude isn't it

[michelanCello]

Shari is brilliant! So are you of course, but we're used to that already...

Well done, Simon!

[engineeringsimon]

Stalagmite...

At least I didn't use a mineral name I found that was named after the town of Cummington. Cummingtonite.

The whole area of geology is blessed with such terms: