Share your dumbest moments

[chillicamper]

Years ago when I worked in forestry I was felling some large sweet chestnut trees. At the base of one tree was a bit of a mound of earth. I didn't bother to look too closely, just started preparing my cuts to fell the tree. Just as I was ready to start the final back cut, I felt something tickling my leg........quite a lot of things tickling my legs in fact .

Turns out the mound of earth at the base of the tree was a large wood ants nest!My legs and chainsaw protective trousers were crawling with large wood ants. Then they started biting in rather tender places! I whipped down my trousers to try and find the offending ants........just a a little old lady walks by in the distance walking her dog.

All she saw was some strange bloke standing next to a chainsaw beating at his nether regions

Lesson learnt - always check what you are standing in!

[Tonyblack]

[Conforumist]

Good one cc! ..actually, that's not funny!

[ChristianBecker]

It's not?

[janet]

Our family visited a zoo when I was about 10 and they had huge outdoor aviaries with trees etc. There were some very colourful birds flying around but I became fixated with a gorgeous one perched about 6 feet up and tried for ages to get my parents to look at the lovely orange bird....'Just look at it, you can't miss it, it's up in that tree, there....look! What a pretty orange bird!' They just kept ignoring me and moving away slightly and I started getting a bit upset until.......I looked at my orange bird again and realised.....it was half an orange wedged onto the branch as part of the birds' feeding and environmental enrichment.......

[spideyGirl]

Wow, poor you Con.

I once squeezed the ketchup bottle whilst its opening was facing my face to check it was working......yep it was

uhh, did you burn your eyes from the ketchup?

No SpideyGirl was injured in bringing you that dumbest moment. My OH asks me to check the ketchup bottle if there's one on the table every time now, every time, with a big fat smirk on his face

[spideyGirl]

:lol:
Our family visited a zoo when I was about 10 and they had huge outdoor aviaries with trees etc. There were some very colourful birds flying around but I became fixated with a gorgeous one perched about 6 feet up and tried for ages to get my parents to look at the lovely orange bird....'Just look at it, you can't miss it, it's up in that tree, there....look! What a pretty orange bird!' They just kept ignoring me and moving away slightly and I started getting a bit upset until.......I looked at my orange bird again and realised.....it was half an orange wedged onto the branch as part of the birds' feeding and environmental enrichment.......

[Ghost]

saw this thread and it's too funny to let die
about 4 years ago I was running for the bus and I had almost caught up with the thing when I ran out of pavement and fell under the bus as dumb luck goes this was a doozy I'm just about small enough to fit between the wheels of the bus and thank god for the drivers fast reaction and for the for really really good brakes.
I ended up with badly grazed knees and broken watch strap.

[Del]

Did you ever tell your mother this?

I remember as a young adult when all the now grown 'kids' would sit around the Christmas table enmasse (we had 12 kids) and everyone would say "Hey do you remember that time...." and Mum would go white and then green as we laughed about all the times we almost died but never told mum.

My own grown daughter did this to me two years ago... "Hey Mum.. do you ever remember when I decided to "redecorate" my bedroom in the yellow house and cleaned it from top to bottom to suprise you and put up new curtains and you thought it was so nice I wanted to do that? Yeah well the other curtains went up in flames from a candle so I put out the flames, cleaned up and hung new curtains."

[Ghost]

:o Did you ever tell your mother this?

I remember as a young adult when all the now grown 'kids' would sit around the Christmas table enmasse (we had 12 kids) and everyone would say "Hey do you remember that time...." and Mum would go white and then green as we laughed about all the times we almost died but never told mum.

My own grown daughter did this to me two years ago... "Hey Mum.. do you ever remember when I decided to "redecorate" my bedroom in the yellow house and cleaned it from top to bottom to suprise you and put up new curtains and you thought it was so nice I wanted to do that? Yeah well the other curtains went up in flames from a candle so I put out the flames, cleaned up and hung new curtains."

eep well doesn't that happen to everyone

:o Did you ever tell your mother this?

yup I done worse
when I told my floor manager at the time what had happened she said aww shame it didn't run you over
it was only when the bus driver checked in on me whilst I was working a few days later I got an an apology

[jaznbonnie]

:o Did you ever tell your mother this?

I remember as a young adult when all the now grown 'kids' would sit around the Christmas table enmasse (we had 12 kids) and everyone would say "Hey do you remember that time...." and Mum would go white and then green as we laughed about all the times we almost died but never told mum.

My own grown daughter did this to me two years ago... "Hey Mum.. do you ever remember when I decided to "redecorate" my bedroom in the yellow house and cleaned it from top to bottom to surprise you and put up new curtains and you thought it was so nice I wanted to do that? Yeah well the other curtains went up in flames from a candle so I put out the flames, cleaned up and hung new curtains."

Del, there's a reason kids don't tell their parents these things until years later. It's call Restriction after giving the parents Cardiac Arrest.

[Del]

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... dont let Dotsie read this.

LOOK AWAY DOTSIE...... NOTHING TO SEE HERE !!! NOPE!

[Dotsie]

Pfft, you're just making stuff up. Everyone knows that children are little angels who are grateful for the sacrifices you make for them

[Catch-up]

Absolutely!

[jaznbonnie]

Pfft, you're just making stuff up. Everyone knows that children are little angels who are grateful for the sacrifices you make for them

Oh, well, yeah. But the authorities really frown on that behavior these days and it's difficult to find virgins.