Ankh-Morpork Sports Page
By Jon Motsoon
Albert’s Buns Pack a Punch
Albert Anvil was victorious in The Annual Battle Bread Throwing Contest. He picked up the prestigious Granite Scone award for a whopping 12.6 metre throw. Mr Anvil put it down to “good grub, regular training and a good quaffing of ale afterwards.” Reginald Darkbeard was disqualified for illegal use of a baguette.
Sponsored by Grit and Bear it Bakery. ‘The Bread that keeps you going.’
1st –Albert Anvil – 12.6 metres.
2nd – Basil Stronginthearm – 11 metres.
3rd – Cheery Littlebottom – 10.4 metres.
4th - Athur Ironfist – 10 metres.
Unseen Academicals 2 Brazeneck College 1
Ankh Morpork United vs Nac Mac Feegle FC. Match abandoned due to crowd trouble form the away fans, and players being drunken dis-orderly.
The local football has seen a new team which started a few months ago, Nac mac Feegle FC. There first match saw the game abandoned, as a riot broke out due to ‘Cut Me Own Throat Catering’ running out of beer and the sausage in a bun. None of the home fans were affected as they just stood and watched the entertainment for themselves. Mr Dibbler commented. “I’ve never seen anything like it, the sausages went within a matter of minutes. Mind you I think my mistake was putting a happy hour on the beer. That was cutting my own throat.”
White Lightning in a Stew
The local Rat Racing Race Meetings are launching a full scale investigation into ‘White Lightning’s’ owner, Percy Peasbody. An allegation of using magical influence as surfaced so both rat and owner have been banned from all meetings until the investigation is completed
Well, you know what they say about a man with big feet?..........................
He wears big socks