Welcome to the site, Jack!
We have no idea whether Terry visits this site - he's never told us that he does, but you never know.
It sounds to me like you need to get a copy (if you haven't already) of Where's My Cow. It's never too early to indoctrinate new Pratchett fans.
“Men never commit evil so fully and joyfully as when they do it for religious convictions.” – Blaise Pascal