50 Shades of Octarine - Please

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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sat Aug 04, 2012 9:56 pm

Hilariously (for me) I edit erotic romance novels for a living. For the record, they've existed (and I've been editing them) for much longer than 50 Shades, and so have BDSM novels (and better done, IMO). At the same time I have to admire ELJames for cashing in like a boss.

Anyhoo, in my opinion, Discworld already has one of the best love stories in the world - Sybil and Vimes.

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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby jtrhoades » Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:33 am

OrangeEyebrows wrote:...(and better done, IMO)...


For the record, this was my point earlier.
I have nothing against "romance" novels, erotic or not.
Nor anything against BDSM, novel or not.
50 shades is just horribly written.
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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby Who's Wee Dug » Sun Aug 05, 2012 10:45 am

Pssst! Don't tell everyone Imagethink of all the women out there who think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. :mrgreen:
He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.
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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby jtrhoades » Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:18 pm

Yes, and Rebecca Black is "popular", doesn't make her, or it, any good.

I am genuinely tempted to go find a well written bdsm erotic novel, buy a few hundred copies in bulk, and offer a free copy in trade for a copy of 50 shades.
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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby OrangeEyebrows » Sun Aug 05, 2012 3:46 pm

jtrhoades wrote:For the record, this was my point earlier.
I have nothing against "romance" novels, erotic or not.
Nor anything against BDSM, novel or not.
50 shades is just horribly written.


No, I didn't think you were slamming the genre as a whole. I just get rather tired of people (in general - not you) thinking 50 Shades is some incredibly new idea :roll:

I can recommend some very good BDSM novels should the mood take you :twisted:
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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby MongoGutman » Sun Aug 05, 2012 7:41 pm

Ok, so a a young Nanny Ogg is sent away for the summer by her parents to a distant relatives in the hills, mainly to get her away from the bad influence of her friend Esmerelda. Gytha is still pure and a bit prissy.

At the hill community she finds something strange is going on: a lot of the wives and young women are dissappearing, apparantly of their own free will, to live with the Count, a new nobleman in the district, to be his servants, fieldhands, slaves, whatever. The female cousin who had welcomed Gytha, and told her all about the Count, Expositia, soon becomes enamoured and packs her bags to join the Count. Gytha can tell there's a spell at work but can't break it.

Gytha feels compelled to investigate, meets the Count, who's a real Casanova - but is somehow odd - and is charmed despite her misgivings. Somehow, some small part of herself allows/forces her to break away and flee back to her rooms. When she examines herself she sees Esmerelda looking out, figuratively speaking.

She confers with Esme by scrying and they agree there's clearly some sex magic going on, probably Qin-qi, something that so far neither of them know anything about. Also clear was that Gytha was going to have to subject herself to the spell in order to be able to understand and counter it. Gytha's scared at the prospect and doesn't think she can do it so Esmerelda sends her some of her own strength to bolster her, she sends her own lust and desire for the flesh and all things earthy.

Gytha goes to confront the Count again

-- insert 137 pages of Qin-qi sex-magic here --

Turns out the Count was actually an incubus who had managed to cross into this plane. Gytha manages to overcome him by fully embracing her libido to such an extent that the lust-demon couldn't keep up: she drains him dry.

All the other women come to their senses, go back to their homes, happy endings all around.

In the aftermath Gytha and Esme confer through the glass again. Gytha offers to return what Esme had sent her but Esme says "Keep it, I feel better without it", Gytha's happy to oblige: she kinda likes it ;)
Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? ~~ Oddball
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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby Tonyblack » Sun Aug 05, 2012 7:48 pm

:lol: You are straying into the realms of fanfic there Mongo. :lol:
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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby jtrhoades » Sun Aug 05, 2012 10:42 pm

Tonyblack wrote::lol: You are straying into the realms of fanfic there Mongo. :lol:

Well, that is what 50 shades is.

That being said, I think it's fair and reasonable to say they Gytha Ogg was never "pure" or "prissy".
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Re: 50 Shades of Octarine - Please

Postby RosM » Thu Sep 06, 2012 9:04 am

Guys, Sir Pterry knows all about shades of grey. What gave me the idea was the phrase "a thousand shades of grey" in SNUFF (about half a page before Vimes goes up to Dead Man's Copse. Twenty times better than just fifty.

But what part of the word "octarine" are you struggling with?

I envisaged something like a book about wizards NOT having sex, often, in various positions, etc. That is, not quite. If Rincewind can avoid getting laid as well as he avoids getting killed, surely there is a story there. Maybe also involving the lovely Ptraci
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