I heard about something both painful and funny on tonight's Sunday Night
(a current affairs program). They were doing a segment on tattoos, and a tattooist related the funniest thing he saw happen in his parlour.
Basically, a man and his girlfriend went into the parlour so that the man could get the name of said girlfriend tattooed on his ribs. This took a while, and once the tattooist was done, the girlfriend then reveals to the man that she knows that he was cheating on her, and dumps him there and then. Now THERE'S a dump to remember!
Four minutes? That's ages! What if I get bored? I need a television, a couple of books. Anyone for chess? Bring me knitting.
-The Eighth Doctor, defiant in the face of death, in Doctor Who: The Night of the Doctor