English is such a hard language :-)

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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Del » Tue May 01, 2012 3:38 pm

Bwdr wrote:It's strange how difficult these can be to a non-native speaker.

It always amuses me how the French find the difference between shit and sheet troublesome.

That said I find the difference between é and è and en and on in French difficult enough, let alone their whole words.


This Italian comes to England for a holiday.

He books into a lovely hotel and goes up to his room. When he goes to get into bed that night he finds that there is only one sheet on the bed. He rings down to the reception and explains his problem.

Italian: "I am in my room and I want two sheet."
Manager: "Oh .. well Sir... there are facilities for that in the ensuite.. the bathroom connected to your bed..."
Italian: "You no understand. I no want to use bathroom. I want two sheet. I want two sheet on my bed."
Manager: "SIr! We cannot allow that in our hotel. If you insist on that we will have to ask you to leave!"

The Italian hangs up, goes to bed and spends an uncomfortable night under the blankets.

Next morning the Italian goes down to breakfast. He sits down to his full English of sausages, eggs, bacon and beans and when he goes to eat, he picks up his knife but can't find a fork anywhere.

Italian: "Waiter! I wanna fork this morning please."
Waiter: "Sir? Uuuum.. well, er ... we don't provide that sort of thing in the hotel. Its just not that kind of establishment! *whispers* Perhaps later... in your room... er you could make a call..."
Italian: "You no understand. I wanna fork! I wanna fork NOW!"
Waiter: "Sir! If you continue to insist on wanting that in the dining room we shall have to ask you to leave!"

The Italian goes out and gets some breakfast in a nearby cafe. Spends the day looking around the city and comes back to the hotel that night to have his dinner. He orders a nice steak with potatoes, brussel sprouts, mushy peas and mushrooms. When the steak comes, there are no peas with his order.

Italian: "Waiter! I wanna peas!"
Waiter: "Sir! Sir! If you would just settle down. What seems to be the matter?"
Italian: "I wanna peas! NOW!"
Waiter: "Well Sir.. there is a men's room at the far side of the dining room...."
Italian: "No! No! No! You NO understand! I wanna peas on my steak! I wanna peas on my whole plate!"
Waiter: "Sir! We cannot allow that in this hotel. I shall have to report you to the manager!"

The manager is called and informs the Italian that he is no longer able to allow him to stay at the hotel and would he kindly go up to his room, pack his bags and leave.

The Italian comes down with his bags and is paying the bill when the manager comes up to him.

Manager: "Good evening Sir. I am sorry it had to come to this but I trust the rest of your stay in England is a more enjoyable time. Peace on you."
Italian: "Peace on you too! I go backa to Italy!!!!"
Just keep swimming... just keep swimming.. just keep swimming....
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby michelanCello » Thu May 17, 2012 1:35 pm

Native english speakers, I need some help, please.

I have to translate the hompage of our orchestra, and I'd like to ask if there's anyone whom I could send it to when I'm finished for a spelling/grammar/weird stuff check. It really isn't much, 2 A4 pages, but it's really just a couple of words per line. It'd be a great help, though.

Anyone? :pray:
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Bouncy Castle » Thu May 17, 2012 1:41 pm

Go on then.
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby michelanCello » Thu May 17, 2012 1:42 pm

Bouncy Castle wrote:Go on then.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! :bow-yellow: I'm not finished yet, but I'll do my best!
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby pip » Thu May 17, 2012 1:43 pm

I'd help but i only speak Oirish
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Bouncy Castle » Thu May 17, 2012 2:09 pm

To be sure.
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Bouncy Castle » Thu May 17, 2012 2:10 pm

michelanCello wrote:
Bouncy Castle wrote:Go on then.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! :bow-yellow: I'm not finished yet, but I'll do my best!


If you can email it to me in Word format, that would be great, or is it going to get technical now that I've said yes? :D
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby raptornx01 » Thu May 17, 2012 2:13 pm

You could always post a link here to get feedback if you want. get input from various people.
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby michelanCello » Thu May 17, 2012 3:20 pm

Bouncy Castle wrote:
michelanCello wrote:
Bouncy Castle wrote:Go on then.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! :bow-yellow: I'm not finished yet, but I'll do my best!


If you can email it to me in Word format, that would be great, or is it going to get technical now that I've said yes? :D

No, no...Word it is. Finished it - was more difficult then I thought, actually :P
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Bouncy Castle » Thu May 17, 2012 3:51 pm

Check your inbox
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby michelanCello » Thu May 17, 2012 6:13 pm

Bouncy Castle wrote:Check your inbox

Thank you! :D
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Conforumist » Thu May 17, 2012 7:54 pm

michelanCello wrote:
Bouncy Castle wrote:Go on then.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! :bow-yellow: I'm not finished yet, but I'll do my best!


Huh, can I get that smiley too!?

I'd be happy to have a look at it, if you like. I not sure you should trust Bouncy with this; she is a monkey after all. :D

I PM'd you.
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby The Mad Collector » Thu May 17, 2012 8:21 pm

Conforumist wrote:I not sure you should trust Bouncy with this; she is a monkey after all. :D


You said mon....... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
One of those? Oh I'm sure I have one somewhere..

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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Conforumist » Thu May 17, 2012 9:50 pm

The Mad Collector wrote:
Conforumist wrote:I not sure you should trust Bouncy with this; she is a monkey after all. :D


You said mon....... :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:


Oh, gee, sorry; I meant "ape"! phew... :doh:
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Re: English is such a hard language :-)

Postby Bouncy Castle » Fri May 18, 2012 9:08 am

OOOOOOOOOK
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