My Story: Dogcatchers

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Postby Cheery » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:41 pm

poohbcarrot wrote:This made me laugh as well! :lol:

“Name’s Brent. But you can call me Bob, if it’s all the better to you. You can choose.” Why?


I guess because he's fed up with people barking "Who are you?" in a very unfriendly tone and had fun confusing Boxer. :D

poobcarrot wrote:One positive thing I'd like to say is that it's very easy to read. It's more-ish (as in, you want to read more).


And I want to write more. :D
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Postby chris.ph » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:06 pm

tell pooh that he is not marking essays in school, its a story for us to enjoy :D
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:15 pm

I enjoyed it a lot it´s a good read :D When is part 3 coming out?? :wink:
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Postby Cheery » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:40 pm

:shock: I don't know... Two or three weeks? I'm very slow at my story, because I have LOTS of other hobbies and not enough free time for all of them :lol:... But I'll try to at least stay under three weeks, if that's okay. :)
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Postby chris.ph » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:44 pm

no pressure but hurry up :D
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Postby Cheery » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:46 pm

chris.ph wrote:no pressure but hurry up :D


Glad you liked it, Chris! :lol:
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Postby Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit » Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:07 pm

In between hobbies, apprenticeships and all, just to let you know... I saw your picture and you are an adorable young woman. :D Tis true, don't bother to deny it. I am sure we all agree. :smug:
Aha! So, Bob's yer uncle... very clever.
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:16 pm

Cheery wrote::shock: I don't know... Two or three weeks? I'm very slow at my story, because I have LOTS of other hobbies and not enough free time for all of them :lol:... But I'll try to at least stay under three weeks, if that's okay. :)


That long :shock: Can't you speed up a little :wink:
(only joking take all the time you need :D , but hurry up a bit :wink: )
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Postby Cheery » Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:30 pm

Sjoerd3000 wrote:
Cheery wrote::shock: I don't know... Two or three weeks? I'm very slow at my story, because I have LOTS of other hobbies and not enough free time for all of them :lol:... But I'll try to at least stay under three weeks, if that's okay. :)


That long :shock: Can't you speed up a little :wink:
(only joking take all the time you need :D , but hurry up a bit :wink: )


One at a time. :lol:
I first have to think of what I'll write next! And I'm planning on doing some "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fanart an I'm currently learning how to play blues 8) . As I said... I have too many hobbies.
But since I have quite a long way to go on the train at mornings (an hour in total with changing trains once) I'll have enough time to write before school at least :lol:
So I think that'll make it up a bit.
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Postby Cheery » Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:31 pm

Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit wrote:In between hobbies, apprenticeships and all, just to let you know... I saw your picture and you are an adorable young woman. :D Tis true, don't bother to deny it. I am sure we all agree. :smug:


You can't believe how I'm blushing right now :oops: :oops: :oops: :lol:
Thank you Tina! :hugs:
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Postby poohbcarrot » Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:30 am

Cheery wrote:So, what do you think about it so far?
Leave a comment, tell me how you like it, and, this is very important, tell me if something's wrong or if I could do something better, PLEEEEEEEEEASE!


Just saying the story's great isn't what Cheery wants. She wants constructive criticism to make the story better. Just saying the story is great, implies the story is perfect. It isn't. I think it's the best she's written so far, but it isn't perfect. However, I think this part is infinitely more readable than the original first letter from Aurora.

Cheery, if you want, I'll re-read it properly then send you a pm.
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Postby Cheery » Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:08 am

poohbcarrot wrote:
Cheery wrote:So, what do you think about it so far?
Leave a comment, tell me how you like it, and, this is very important, tell me if something's wrong or if I could do something better, PLEEEEEEEEEASE!


Just saying the story's great isn't what Cheery wants. She wants constructive criticism to make the story better. Just saying the story is great, implies the story is perfect. It isn't. I think it's the best she's written so far, but it isn't perfect. However, I think this part is infinitely more readable than the original first letter from Aurora.

Cheery, if you want, I'll re-read it properly then send you a pm.


Yes, please! :D I've showed it to a couple of people at home too and they're always afraid of insulting me if they criticize it. :roll:
I'm happy if someone criticizes my story, that means I can improve it. My goal is to firstly end the story and then take a chance at sending the script to a publisher. Wouldn't be good if it was full of flaws, would it? :)
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