The Leonard of Quirm Renaming of Everyday Objects Thread

[deldaisy]

Knitted paw coverings that small cats lose.

Toe rings.

[MongoGutman]

concentric ripples of water caused by dipping toes in an icy cold pond

motorbike

[unseenu]

portable noisemaking device

shovel

[AuntyVague]

Step on device for breaking one's nose.

Sponge cake.

[meerkat]

culinary confection to cause mass within the intestinal system.

curry

[Tonyblack]

Foreign hot stew that creates toxic wind.


Computer mouse

[Sister Jennifer]

The Don't-Feed-It-Cheese Clicking Device for assisting you on your favourite internet forum.

Books.

[MongoGutman]

Information storage and retreival devices made from wood.

bubble-wrap

[meerkat]

Calming resonance bubble shaped device for keeping small minds content for hours on end and can be used for keeping delicate items like bird wings safe from damage.

A bath plug

[deldaisy]

Hard dried up rubber circular ornament on the corner of the bath (that large porceline oval near the shower used to temporarily store laundry) and oft picked up by small children who ask... "Mummy? What is this hard dried up rubber circular ornament used for?) those small poor babes who dont remember when it wasn't illegal to fill a bath to the top and soak and play with yellow rubber decoy baby birdlife in a sea of bubbly wonder. Hard dried up circular ornament on the corner of the bath that still cant be used because the laws and water restrictions per household came in during the 100 year drought even though most of the state and indeed the eastern seaboard in now declared a disaster zone from floods for the past four years. Hard dried up rubber circular ornament on the corner of the bath that would most probably shatter if after all these years came into contact with water.

Edit: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...... Hard dried up rubber circular ornament on the corner of the bath that if inserted into circular drain in bathtub and covered in generous amounts of H2O whilst householder is soaking in bliss in said H2O MAY lead to sudden and interesting meetings with tall strong gorgeous Water Police bursting through the bathroom door to read me my rights and drag said towel wrapped soggy householder off to be interrogated.

Most probably just get a letter of enquiry about overuse of water and a water bill in the mail from the council......

Tissue.

[Batty]

Wood pulped to fibrous matter and washed and pulped repeatedly, so that dripping noses cannot be scratched.

teapot

[deldaisy]

Container used for the brewing of fragrant dried leaves in hot liquids..... container should preferably NOT be manufactured from chocolate.

Container made world famous in song with the refrain; "I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout!" Normally sung by small children in early school,......... or large men after cupious amounts of alcohol.

Whiteboard Marker.

[MongoGutman]

Wall decorating device for pre-school children.

alarm clock

[Batty]

A Monstrous device that makes a loud noise when you are the least prepared for it, and at your most vulnerable, leaving you alarmed and your senses violated.
Occasionally it will gain or lose time - whichever is the most inconvenient for you - Just because it wants to!


A camera

[Del]

Thing wot you hold in front of your eyes so you can take 200 images of the thing you went on holiday to see so that when you get home you can look at images of the thing you went on holiday to see but didnt see because there was a thing in front of your face so you couldnt see it.

Fast food.