Corrupt-a-wish

[unseenu]

Unfortunately you don't get any further than starting a facebook page before some clandestine religious agent disables your like button and you're never heard from again.

I must have had a serious epiphany if I joined Facebook,I swore I never would,making the wish all the more corrupted.Moving on...

A great cencus is taken of all actual and online bookshops, and all books branded with their actual selling number.This means that stickers saying things like "joint 9975th bestseller" become commonplace.Somebody then realises that the servey didn't take into account sales in settings such as second hand shops, and certain authors feel that their books should be a notch higher on the scale.Pitchforks are grabbed and the bookshops of the world are ransacked by disgruntled american crime writers.

I wish I could count words with one glance at the text

[Ogamis]

you can, but because an extra bit of your brain needs to be taken over to do do this, you lose the ability to read


i wish the second Johny English film had been as good as the first

[unseenu]

It was a smash hit,so the studio demands a third one.This one is of course terrible and makes the second one look better by comparrison..

I wish my glasses would instantly revert back to working order if damaged

[Ogamis]

they do, but there is a few secons delay. the first time it happens you pick some peices of the glasses before they suddenly jump back together, fusing your finger into the glass


i wish everybody in america reallised that climate change was real and religion was not a good reason to elect people

[unseenu]

They now realise this,but don't act on it in any way

I wish I could open locked doors by touching them

[Willem]

Your wish is granted, but everything you touch now opens. You get embarred walking down the street with your flies open constantly and become a recluse.

I wish for no wishes.

[Ogamis]

your wish for no wishes invalidates your wish, so there are wishes, so there arn't, and so on in the grandfather paradox style. therefore the only viable way for the universe to remain in existance is t unravel to the moment of your birth and, very painfully, ripp you out of itself


i wish stephen fry was ageless

[meerkat]

He is only we are getting older and so he continues to be a National Treasure and we all snuff it having taken up the years he no longer needs. Life is a Bugg"er!

I wish we all used Credits like in Star Trek.

[Ogamis]

on earth this is disasterous. seeing as even in the show it doesn't really make sense, in reality the system symply collapses causing anarchy. posetion becomes 1/10th of the law, and 9/10ths are who has the biggest weapon


i wish i had the mint condition uncorrected proof of alice's adventures in wonderland (legally) and i knew about it, and had it in my actual posetion rather than being stuck in a wall of my house (for example)

[meerkat]

You do have a mint copy of said Alice's adventures (legal ) but it is Kendal Mint Cake and the pages are constantly being worn away by people sucking on them. You are just lucky that it isn't chocolate covered or you would never have it for long.

I wish I could do no wrong!

[Ogamis]

what is right and wrong changes for what you do.
You accidentally fall off a cliff. as you can do no wrong, that becomes good, so everybody in the world does it
well done for killing humanity, jerk!


I wish i owned the patent of the watch

[Ogamis]

any corruptions?

[Del]

You do own the patent for the watch and you insist that only you can have a watch, so everyone loses track of time and sleep in and they are late for work, and the trains don't run on schedule so everyone else misses work, and the pubs dont know when to.close so the rest become alcoholics, industry fails, the world economy falls apart... hang on.... Omg! It was you!

I wish I had the formula for making teens perfect children.

[huge_vermin]

Teens become perfect children study hard and plan for the future, in doing so however they realise that the adults are unecessary and just get in the way. They there fore have all adults (including you) removed to work camps where the population is controlled throught the use of older inmates as a food source they call this source soylent fantastic.

I wish time was reversable at will.

[Ogamis]

It is, but when you reverse time you yourself are reversed with it so that as you have no future knowledge nothing changes and reality no longer progresses because you keep reversing time from the same point, not knowing you've done it before

I wish i had a death note