Stupid Headlines

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Postby Tonyblack » Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:24 pm

MattK wrote:I think I remember seeing a bunch of those on a segment Jay Leno used to do called Headlines. For years we had people scouring the newspapers, trying to get something onto The Tonight Show, so I'm pretty sure most of them are from the U.S. :)
Yes, I think these are all originally from Jay Leno. I just trawled the Internet for them.
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Postby Batty » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:03 pm

Priceless! Image
Going to my school was an education in itself. Which is not to be confused with actually getting an education (Schultz)
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Postby Cheery » Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:17 am

Missippi... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Ponder Stibbons » Sat Jul 25, 2009 4:36 am

Batty wrote:Image Image Image Brilliant!


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

In one article, it said that a man could "see the fire from his house :!: :!: :!: :!: " 100 feet away. One of my friends saw the fire several kilometers away in another village. must have been listening to my eng. teacher too much. "quotes are important'
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Postby Bouncy Castle » Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:55 am

IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

PANDA MATING FAILS - VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

NJ JUDGE TO RULE ON NUDE BEACH

CHILD'S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN GARDEN

DR. RUTH TO TALK ABOUT SEX WITH NEWSPAPER EDITORS

SOVIET VIRGIN LANDS SHORT OF GOAL AGAIN

ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX

EYE DROPS OFF SHELF

SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM

DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON

ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX

LAWMEN FROM MEXICO BARBECUE GUESTS

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE - ONE DIES

TWO SISTERS REUNITE AFTER EIGHTEEN YEARS AT CHECKOUT COUNTER

NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES FROM LOVED ONE

NICARAGUA SETS GOAL TO WIPE OUT LITERACY

DRUNK DRIVERS PAID $1,000 IN 1984

AUTOS KILLING 110 A DAY, LET'S RESOLVE TO DO BETTER

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY IT MAY LAST A WHILE

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

SMOKERS ARE PRODUCTIVE, BUT DEATH CUTS EFFICIENCY

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

CHILD'S DEATH RUINS COUPLE'S HOLIDAY

BLIND WOMAN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HASN'T SEEN IN YEARS

MAN IS FATALLY SLAIN

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERTS SAY

DEATH CAUSES LONELINESS, FEELING OF ISOLATION
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Postby Tonyblack » Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:32 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Batty » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:29 pm

:lol: I especially like the 'Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years'! Image
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Postby chris.ph » Mon Jul 27, 2009 5:34 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
measuring intelligence by exam results is like measuring digestion by turd length
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Postby Morty » Wed Jan 20, 2010 9:55 am

Back with a bang........

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply.
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Postby Morty » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:03 am

Just to balance things up

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
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Postby Tonyblack » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:12 am

Must be relatives of the Librarian.

Image

Image

Image

Not from the South Wales Echo.

Image
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Postby Tonyblack » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:14 am

Gggggoodness ggracious

Image

Image

Image

Image
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Postby Tonyblack » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:16 am

Image

Image

Image

Image
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Postby Tonyblack » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:17 am

Image

Image

Image

Image
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Postby Tonyblack » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:19 am

Image

Image

Image

Image
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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