Everyone has their tender points, but when it's obvious what your 'uniqueness' is there's no hiding place from other people's stupidity or just downright ignorance and lack of respect which is almost made worse because they're not deliberately setting out to be rude half the time - it's like the brain just switches off and they simply blurt out what's on their (tiny
) minds. What you're saying about 'training' your friends to the point where they forget you're blind is marvellous really, but tough when you get your wish and they get the flak for apparently being neglectful in public
It's like people in wheelchairs or with facial spasms are often assumed to have some kind of learning disability when they're perfectly intelligent or people yelling at the deaf when they just need to talk normally and to make sure they keep facing them if they can lip read (which isn't always the case either, so that could be an annoying assumption too
). In some ways it's worse when a disability isn't
discernible and when people 'find out' you can tell that they're revising their previous opinion of you and inevitably making a hash of it, even though they've been perfectly fine with you beforehand. If someone's making the effort then I suppose with patience and lot of forbearance you can take so much patronisation unless it's truly insulting and indiscriminate.
The 'I'd kill myself if I was like you' insinuation is beyond the pale for me because I'm a depressive so I see that from a very specific perspective because I'm not going to kill myself so why would you, so that's not something I'd ever say to anyone else because I really
know how crass and insensitive that is. On the other hand when I tell people I have chronic depression and a whopping anxiety disorder I can see them thinking - ah, so that's why she's so fat.
It's a factor yes but the reason I have a weight problem has far more to do with my chocolate addiction and complete aversion to (most) physical activity...
We all have our glories and pitfalls so if people would only remember that there's no such thing as 'normal' and exercise some discretion then you can
be genuinely curious without being stupidly and/or unconsciously rude. In the meantime the anonymity and egality of t'interweb helps break down some of the barriers and open up some sensible discussion on being 'different' if people do want to be more informed.