Can you remember when you first met TP?

[poohcarrot]

. so I told him the top 5 rude questions I get asked by sighted people and my usual sarcastic replies.

Well then, what are the 5 questions and your sarky answers?

[Chris]

. so I told him the top 5 rude questions I get asked by sighted people and my usual sarcastic replies.

Well then, what are the 5 questions and your sarky answers?

I'd like to know as well so I can avoid asking them!

[Perestroika]

top 5 rude comments/questions

ahem...

5. how do blind people have sex?

In the dark, which is more than could be said for the likes of you.

4. I don't know what I would do if I went blind, probably kill myself or something. [some people really do say this]

Yes, you would really be doing the world a favour by not forcing it to put up with that sort of crappy atitude. I support you, why wait until you go blind in fact?

3. How do blind people eat? I mean, how do you know where your mouth is?

wow, I had no idea that you sighted people had some kind of central mirror device at tables that aids you in eating your meals. I guess that's how you manage it? god only knows how you would cope without it.

2. at our church we have people just like you.

What? people with red hair? women? short people? atheists? do stop me when i'm getting warmer. oh you mean blind people? yes, obviously just because we're both blind we'd have a lot in common. the fact that I am a 20 something year old woman and the people you're refering to are 70 something year old men has nothing whatsoever to do with it the fact that we're blind should be the defining factor...

1. how the hell do you get around? you're so brave!

I always thought bravery was running into a burning building to save the lives of a trapped family, or standing up to the person who's about to rape and stab you to death, or maybe escaping from a POW camp or something equally as daring. I never knew it was getting out of bed in the morning and catching a big scary train to go to work. what d'ya know, we're a whole carriage full of heros! well done to you!

there are more, but these are the main ones.

[poohcarrot]

[Tonyblack]

Nice one Gal!

[Chris]

Fortunately I don't think I would have said any of those things, or thought them, which is gratifying.

[Perestroika]

actually, I will say this. I have never had occasion to use these against a TP fan.

I met some amazing people in the line for this book signing, so perhaps the average TP fan is less ignorant than other people?
I wonder how I can test this theory...

[The Mad Collector]

actually, I will say this. I have never had occasion to use these against a TP fan.

I met some amazing people in the line for this book signing, so perhaps the average TP fan is less ignorant than other people?
I wonder how I can test this theory...

Go to a convention and meets lots. Rarely will you find such a large gathering of people where you will genuinely feel you would want to get to know all of them

[Chris]

actually, I will say this. I have never had occasion to use these against a TP fan.

I met some amazing people in the line for this book signing, so perhaps the average TP fan is less ignorant than other people?
I wonder how I can test this theory...

Go to a convention and meets lots. Rarely will you find such a large gathering of people where you will genuinely feel you would want to get to know all of them

Agreed. I've only been to the one get-together but enjoyed it immensely.

[Perestroika]

I fully intend to when I move to Europe full time... my life is too up in the air to think about what i'll be doing and where I'll be to try and get to a convention.

[Dotsie]

Terry looked at me, my white cane and the book in my hands and he asked me if I could actually read it, and how much I could see.

I am quite sure I did the automatic glare I do when people ask me this kind of stuff, but I said something like 'normall I wouldn't actually answer questions like that...but...since you're you, I'll tell you instead of giving you the horrible sarcasm.'

OK, I can appreciate that you probably get asked a lot of questions, but was this one from Terry really so bad? He was just asking wasn't he? Do you not like any reference at all to your blindness that's made by someone else?

The top five questions on the other hand are completely ignorant. If anyone asked me any of those, I think I'd be less polite than you were

[Perestroika]

OK, I can appreciate that you probably get asked a lot of questions, but was this one from Terry really so bad? He was just asking wasn't he? Do you not like any reference at all to your blindness that's made by someone else?

it's complicated. I actually don't mind it if I sort of know the people, i'm quite happy to make fun of myself and am fine with others doing it too if I know them, because I know them, that goes for the forums I'm on and all that, because I feel comfortable with it.

but when the first thing someone ever says to me is a comment or a question about it then I do get edgy and feel wierd. again it's something you have to be me or a close friend who goes around a lot with me to understand my position.

day in day out I get asked all kinds of stuff, people make all kinds of comments to me and they are almost exclusively related to my disability, and to put it in perspective I am the sort of private person in real life who would almost never speak to the person next to me because I know I don't like being interupted when I'm reading or listening to something.
it's like this small fact of my physical make-up is all that people see, all they are interested in, because I can answer questions that have been on their mind for a while.

I know that most people don't talk to me like I'm the sort of person they'd like to have a beer with or whatever, they talk to me in a different way. it's so hard to explain, but as someone who is good with voices and inflections, I know what I mean, but can't explain it well.


and yes, it bothers me. because I try, I try and try so hard to be normal, to fit in and to be likeable. I don't want to be different I want to be treated the same as everyone else.

it's so hard for some of my friends, because whenever we go out people see them not helping me and give them filthy looks for it. and yet they don't know that I don't need or want them to and they know it so they don't. my closest friends will let me walk into something without even thinking because they forget that I can't see it.
and then they have to endure other people who see it having a go at them for not doing anything about it.

and if I run into something it's not their fault, but people think it is. it's mine for not taking the care I should.

sorry, this is ranty, but it's really really really difficult to explain.

[Dotsie]

Not ranty at all, I completely understand. But I understand Terry asking what he did, because his was a valid question (unlike all that other crap you have to put up with).

But I'd like to say, you are normal, you do fit in, and you are likable. And I see you as someone I'd like to have a beer with. And when I get pissed at con and fall over, people can slag you off instead

ETA, thanks for explaining

[Perestroika]

I should probably explain that I didn't have a go at him at all, more pointed out the treatment most people get from me. admitedly, and I recognised this as well, when a blind girl is holding out a book for you to sign it's a valid curiocity.

but then again, other people ask me how much I can see, and not because they need to know, but just because they are curious, I don't know them, they are just random people I encounter and never meet again who just think it's ok to ask this sort of stuff. I recognise there are people who need to know and I am not rude or nasty or sarcastic to them at all.

god I do come across as a prat sometimes.


oh and your post reminded me of the time I attacked my friend with my stick and he got yelled at by some passer by. he was so upset at that lol because of the total unfairness of it.

[poohcarrot]

but then again, other people ask me how much I can see, and not because they need to know, but just because they are curious, I don't know them, they are just random people I encounter and never meet again who just think it's ok to ask this sort of stuff.

So if you and I were stuck in an elevator for an hour and you said "Hello", I shouldn't ask you any personal questions if I were curious.
Would you prefer it if I just talked about the weather?
Would you ask me any personal questions?