Angua could run the 100 metres (in about three seconds!)
Carrot could do weightlifting
Colon could do Archery
Buggy Swires could do the wrestling
Nobby could go in for the ladies shotput and be disqualified for being a er, a er... human being..er..
The Librarian could do the hoops (he'd enjoy that)
Cheery could do the drugs testing
Otto Chriek could do the photos
Edward de Worde could do the commentray and sports reviews
The post office could issue a new stamp
and the Golems could build the stadiums!
"Veni, Veci ....Vetinari!"