Epic Battle

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Postby meerkat » Thu May 19, 2011 6:01 pm

ShadowNinjaCat wrote:Meanwhile ,Shadow is taking bet's with the locals, as to whose house's will not get completely destroyed by the sudden armys that came to disturb their peaceful farmlands. :P They don't seem to be impressed with this whole deal...


:lol: :lol:
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Postby unseenu » Thu May 19, 2011 9:12 pm

with the vast armies coming towards him unseenu decides to develop a time machine but abandons the idea realising it would take years to build.Suddenly an older version of himself appears and gives a working time machine to him,unseenu disappears into it with a couple of his men.

A milisecond later thousands of identical time machines start appearing on the battle field,this is actually only one machine ferrying in troops from the same point in the future to the same point in the past.From each machine a couple of armour clad samurai warriors burst out,they are members of the army that took unseenu fifty years to breed,some of the warriors are the same person at different ages.The vast numbers of time travelling samurai charge at the oncoming enemy while at the same moment the thousands of time machines disappear following their programming to make sure noone else can use them.


(temporal warfare,the one thing worse than nuclear) :twisted:
Proof that L-Space exists in this universe

Fact 1:Heavier things distort time and space more
Fact 2:A page with ink on it is heavier than an unprinted page
Conclusion:A book distorts time and space more than blank papers
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Postby meerkat » Thu May 19, 2011 9:53 pm

The Vikings see the Samurai and laugh as the bamboo protection will do little against the sharp blades.

At this point 70 Valkyries arrive on large whiote horses carting off a few Viking s who had suffered heart attacks from laughing so much, but with a sword in thier hands, still got to Valhalla.

On the way back to the Home of the Gods they send a few flashes on lightening back to earth and this hits the bamboo warriors, sending them reeling into a large slurry pit built by the locals for various residuals from the human body.

The Vikings continue fighting Sjoerds Romans as this is great fun.
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Postby captainmeme » Fri May 20, 2011 6:09 am

CaptainMeme, annoyed at Sjeord, defects back to his own team again. He runs around looking for a weapon, and spots a sword lying on the grass. He picks it up. Instantly, five of Unseen's temporal troops surround him.

Meme realizes he can't win, but then he has an idea. He looks at the troops, trying to determine which is the youngest, then thrusts his sword forward. The samurai, taken by surprise because he thought Meme would surrender, makes no move to defend himself until too late. The sword went straight through his armour and killed him. Suddenly, the other four samurai dissapeared.

Meme breathed a sigh of relief. He had been right, all five samurai had been the same person at different ages. Ignoring the paradox he had just caused, Meme charged into the battlefield.
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Fri May 20, 2011 8:57 am

Sjoerd gives his tanks the order to deal with the Samurai. Everyone else are sent to fight the Vikings :twisted:
A poster outside one shop urged people to Dig For Victory, as if it were some kind of turnip.
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Postby meerkat » Fri May 20, 2011 12:25 pm

The Vikings are having a whale of a time. They have now taken some of the swords off the fallen Romans and are now using two swords, one in each hand.

The farmer has sidled off to speak to Shadow and he agrees to be her bookies runner.
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Postby chris.ph » Fri May 20, 2011 2:28 pm

chris' destroyer lets rip with its phalanx rotary machine gun and 4.5in gun levelling the feeble vikings in little bits on the battlefield
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Postby captainmeme » Fri May 20, 2011 3:24 pm

CaptainMeme, seeing Sjoerd's approaching tanks, decides to hastily retreat to recruit an army. He will be back tomorrow! (Providing he doesn't get raptured...)
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Postby pip » Fri May 20, 2011 3:32 pm

Suudenly all the surviving cockroaches get enveloped in the rapture and start to ascend. Christians on the battlefield look at each other thinking we translated something wrong somewhere. This leads to a high level of despair making them easy targets :D
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Postby captainmeme » Fri May 20, 2011 3:37 pm

Unfortunately for him, Meme is the only Christian here, so he is the only easy target...
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Postby unseenu » Fri May 20, 2011 3:44 pm

because quite a lot of unseenu's samurai were killed they all vanish because the idea was once they returned they would cue the next guy to get in the time machine.Feeling very outnumbered and paradox riddled unseenu drives his tank into sojerd's and tries to blend in with them.

At this point his remaining elephants are traumatised and running around trampling people.

Many Death's are now turning up including the Death of Elephants,the Death of romans,the Death of cockroaches and the Death of time travellers
Proof that L-Space exists in this universe

Fact 1:Heavier things distort time and space more
Fact 2:A page with ink on it is heavier than an unprinted page
Conclusion:A book distorts time and space more than blank papers
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Postby ShadowNinjaCat » Fri May 20, 2011 4:54 pm

Shadow is making a killing on the bets. 8) Which have turned out to be the only* killing she's done since she entered the battle. :P So, sitting on her tank she starts thinking..."People need weapons and ammunition during battles don't they?,and I don't see any other suppliers around..."

"Now open!!Shadow's Army Supplies!Get your killing stuff here!, buy 1 get 1 free**, discount if you buy in bulk**!!!"

*If you don't count the cockroaches
**Terms and conditions apply
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Postby meerkat » Fri May 20, 2011 5:04 pm

Having gathered enough weapons off those romans already slew.slow. slain, the Vikings ignore Shadow (for now) but attack the trampling elephants instead, making a mint on the ivory.

The farmer is busy sorting spare weapons in a neat pile for Shadow to sell. He is not making a mint, but he is coming up smelling of roses!
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Postby michelanCello » Fri May 20, 2011 5:13 pm

Having gone bankrupt in the delicacy business, salesman mC asks Shadow whether she needed an associate... :P
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Postby ShadowNinjaCat » Fri May 20, 2011 5:29 pm

"Hmmm,it says here on your C.V. that you were in the delicacy business,is that right?". :? asked Shadow. "Yes" replied mC. "Well who cares anyway :P ,welcome to S.A.S* :D :D :D ,"

Shadow's business was growing. She could smell it in the air...she'd have to sort that out soon,the lads weren't digging the graves quick enough. Project: "Shadow's Undertaker Services" was coming on nicely otherwise. :P

*Shadow's Army Supplies
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