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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:31 pm

Part Three

--------- A quiet Night on the Beat. ---------------

Corporal Nobbs proceeded over the Brass Bridge, a mug of Hot Tea in one hand and a cheese and Klammers Beefymite Sandwich from the Klatchian corner shop in the other. A fag was smoldering away in the corner of His mouth.

"Here ya go Fred, nice cup of scalding hot Tea and a Sarnie." said Nobby as He handed the mug and food to His superior.

"Why thank you, very nice of you to think of me stuck out here all night Nobby."

"That's all right, it will only cost you Forty Five Penny Fred." Nobby replied.

"Forty Five Penny, that is Daylight robbery.......... I do not know how they have the nerve to ask that for a couple of dry slices of Bread and cheese covered in Klammers....... got a mind to pay them a visit, I am sure their Thieves Guild payments are overdue." moaned Sergeant Fred Colon.

Fred consumed the Sandwich, crumbs of bread and cheese covered His chest as to testament to the flavourful contents.

"Look at them Stars, ya don't get to see them so much these days.......... I remember when I was a Kid, you know....... when Keel took on the Patrician. I liked Him, Old Vime's reminds me of Him for some reason..." Said Nobby.

"And your point about the Stars?" Fred asked.

"Ya, well I think it is because of all the extra pollution from the Troll and Dwarf industries.The smell of rubber from Zonkys plant can be detected in Sto on the right day."

"No progress without sacrifices Nobby, but just imagine what the place would look and smell like if Zonkys protective's were not available.... Streets full of rotting nappies and Thousands of Kids running around and getting up to mischief.......... no I for one will put up with a little inconvenience." lectured Fred.

"Ya right there Fred...... " responded a thoughtful Nobbs as He had a puff on His everlasting stub.

As the pair leaned over the wall of the Bridge, Fred brushing the crumbs away and Nobby flicking ash onto the surface of the River............

"Fred, look at the River!"

"In a moment Nobby, just clearing a stubborn lump of Cheese......."

"Sergeant please........" Said Nobby.

When Nobby took notice of rank then there was a serious thing going on..........

The Water was moving in the wrong direction, it was starting to pile up on the Morpork side of the River, almost like the way Water sloshes up the side of a bath tub when you slide in to the water, the River was near the top of the bank.

"Core whoa........." said Fred as he toppled over. A moment of dizziness and the feeling of movement had overwhelmed Him.

"Whattttt..." agreed Nobby as He to was toppled over.............

High above them a light appeared in the Sky.......... a dim glow that started from the rim ward side of the City. The light grew in intensity , brighter and brighter......... Fred could feel the exposed skin on the back of His neck starting to tan....

"Fred Fred what's going on?" Screamed a distraught Nobbs.

"Don't know Nobby, but I am going to jump in the river ............ come on follow me." and with that He and Nobby clambered over the parapet and plunged into the deepening waters. The tidal force swept the duo up against one of the sturdy stone buttresses of the Bridge.

From their Hiding place in the shadow of the Bridge they could both see an enormous flare cutting across the Sky, almost over head and going at speeds that, for the Disc, should be impossible............. and at the Head of the flames they could make out a charred and unmistakable shape of a Gigantic Elephant! Its passage through the Air was heating it to enormous temperatures. It was now heading inland towards the hub............

"Aghuugh" spluttered Nobby as He stared at the now dimming light..... "Fred you still here?"

"ya, but will need to be off Home before reporting back to the watch house, I need a dry uniform." Fred replied.

"The water will dry soon in the Heat of all the burning buildings Fred." Nobby suggested as He took stock of the carnage all around them.

Fred did not tell Nobby it was not the River water that He was concerned about, He was worried about the Wife........

As the two clambered up the steps on the stone jetty there was an enormous BANG and a wave of Air blasted the Two back into the waters.......... the shock wave had passed over the city lifting roofs and fanning flames. Some of the more rickety Housing was collapsed by the blast adding more fire wood to the inferno.......

The pair again made their way up the steps, there was an eerie silence.... the only sounds that could be made out were of wood burning and buildings collapsing.... then from out of the heavy shroud of ash and smoke People started to appear, old men, Women carrying limp bundles in their arms a young lad with a Dog on a lead........ all looked like Grey animated statues. Tears were running silently down the face of one young Girl clearing away the dust reviling the pink skin underneath ,in Her arms a small limp Baby cradled tight to Her ...........

Then from the direction of the Hub the Sky exploded.............
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:32 pm

Part Four

----------- What to do? -------------

Across the flight path there was devastation. The Elephant had entered the Atmosphere rim side of the City taking a direct route inland, in its wake fire had destroyed almost everything flammable and made Tens of Thousands Homeless. Crops that would have feed the survivors were roasted in the fields. And the destruction had not ended there.......... in the attempt to dodge the missile the Great A'Tuin had caused tidal waves, the waters sloshing around as the Turtle altered it direction abruptly.low places were inundated with floods and Sea ports left Miles from the Sea for a time, until the Seas settled down. The impact point was at the foothills around the base of the central Mountain of Cori Celesti, Dunmanifestin survived the blast only because the Gods were not going to put up with that sort of thing...........

The Disc recovered, slowly the fires were brought under control or in some cases just left to burn out.... the parts of the Disc unaffected gave aid where possible and the building trade flourished in the wake of the destruction giving work to people in need of it,but also unfortunately the undertakers Guild were recruiting faster than at any time in there History.........DEATH had been working overtime.........

The Homeless were found accommodation and orphaned children were looked after by the Ladies of the Seamstress Guild and then re-housed with suitable Families........

The new flying Machines that Leonard of Quirm and Dibbler had developed were used on mass to ferry foods and medical supplies to the needy. Mr Dibbler's organizational abilities as Head of the City Health Organisation were tested to the limits,but things recovered.The New fat deposits were mined, the Dwarf miner plowed much needed cash back into the community.........

BUT it had been a close thing......... a steeper angle on impact could have cracked the Disc, punched a hole in it or caused it to spin off the back of the Four Elephants into the void............

"It is unacceptable." Said Lord Vetinari.

In the rats chamber the remaining Guild members were gathered along with the senior members of The Watch and Governmental departments.... sat at the Patricians right was Leonard of Quirm.

"We need to be able to plan for and if possible avoid this sort of Disc wide disorder. Why did Great A'Tuin leave it so late to take avoiding action........ this is not the first time it has made adjustments to the direction of travel to avoid a problem, Why so late this time?" asked the Patrician as He glanced around the room.

There was silence, on one wanted to make a guess and put there Head in the firing line.

"Maximum effort. That is what I want to see from you all, else I will make some changes. Do you all understand?"

The chill in the room was palpable........

"May I make some observations?"

"Of course, you thoughts are always welcomed Leonard." responded the Patrician.

"I have been going through the records for the City and have notice something that may have pointed a warning to us.............. if we had been bright enough to have taken notice of it....."

"Yes?" replied the Patrician.

" last Years the re-annual crops had failed.... now seeing as the crop is harvested prior to being seeded this is an indication that something had caused or will cause to happen, a failure of said crop is a future failure."

There were blank faces around the table.

Leonard sighed "In simplified terms if a re-annual crop fails we have a warning of impending problems."

"Now that's what we need, forward thinking. Well done Leonard." the Patrician said.

"I would also think that due to the rouge Elephants vector being from the rear of the Great A'Tuin the Turtle may have been unaware of the danger until it felt the tug of the mass of the missile, rear impacts are unfortunately a risk that is unavoidable, unless you happen to have eyes in your arse........." Leonard joked.

Vetinari gave Leonard a disbelieving look then picked up a sheet of paper and handed it to Vime's.

"Commander Vime's I have taken the time to prepare a Document and schedule that I would like your opinions on...." He said indicating to the paperwork.

"Leonard has a plan that may help to preserve our abode, on the sheet are details, in rough, of a project that He will undertake. I want your full cooperation in this endeavour and that of the Guilds." Vetinari gazed around the table at the Guild leaders.

"Any objections?"

There was silence.The heads of Guilds knew how to bend in the wind.......... or be snapped.


Vime's was engrossed in the paperwork.

"Good gods, do you think this can be done? It will cost a fortune and we can hardly afford this at the moment with the economy still recovering from the impact!" Vime's exclaimed.

"On the contrary it will invigorate the economy creating new jobs and skills and giving the masses a goal to aim for, if we do nothing we stagnate." said the Patrician.

He continued.... "Gentlemen, I propose a new organisation to see this project through. It will be headed by Leonard. The funding will be the back tax owed by the Guilds, except for the Seamstresses as they have already made a contribution by fostering the orphaned children of the City and surrounding plains. The Tax will be collected by Mr Von Lipwig under the supervision of Sir Samuel and the Watch. The name of this new department will be Morpork - Ankh Space Academics or MASA for short. The project name will be The Bubble Space Telescope for reasons that will be all to obvious when you all take a look at the Document that Sir Samuel has been studying these past minuets."

Vime's passed the Document to Lord Downey......... on it were doodles of fish, sailing ships powered by cycle power sketches of flares only visible during an eclipse and a device that looked like a Wine decanter, one that has a bulbus body and a thin long neck......

"It is the one that looks like a wind decanter." Said Vetinari.

Leonard stood up and wheeled into the room a blackboard on wheels. He then drew a large circle on it and tapped the board with a pointer.... "This will be the living habitat, it is a semi-transparent balloon that will be inflated when the Bubble telescope reaches a altitude and speed sufficient to give it a circular ring path above the Atmosphere." He then drew the neck of the Wine decanter.... "This will be the working part of the device, it is a seeing things that are far away device or Telescope as the Patrician insists in calling it.." He then drew a seat placed at the end of the neck that was within the bubble and drew a stick figure in the seat with its head against the eye piece.........

Downey interrupted Leonard "You intend to place someone above the airs to keep an eye on the Universe? The Gods will not like this at all, no not one bit. Do you remember the fuss when we had to stop Cohen the Barbarian and the Silver Horde from blasting the Gods? "

"I do not intend to send a Man or even dwarf to operate the device, no...... I will require the chaps at The Unseen University to create a very special imp for this project." He handed a sheet of paper to Arch chancellor Mustrum Ridcully.

"The requirement is for a special imp that will stay put, needs little in the way of sustenance.... possibly living off the very sun light in the way of plants, has exceptional eye sight and can operate a clack light to signal images back to ground stations and can understand simple instructions........." He said.

Ridcully turned to Ponder Stibbons. " Can this be done? Never seen anything like this before.."

Stibbons examined the paperwork and the image on the blackboard......... " It will require a lot of work on Hex to calculate the parameters ........ the Doughnut Accelerator at the University will need dusting off and a massive supply of Lemons secured to power it ........ the Witches know all about plants so we will have to bring them in on the design........"

Ridcully interrupted " Yes, yes, but can it be done."

"If Mrs. Whitlow can manager the dusting I think we can do it." Replied Ponder, sarcastically.

"I will have to see Her to see if it can be done, She will be ecstatic to be part of a University project!" Replied the Arch chancellor who totally missed the sarcasm......

Vime's interjected "We are assuming the thing is already up there,but how do you intend to get it up Mr. De Quirm? Boat over the edge again ?" Vime's asked Leonard.

"No not time, I will make use of Rocket power."

"This is going to be a big thing, if I read the drawing correctly the Bubble Telescope will be around Forty Five Foot long and Weigh around two tons.You are going to need a bloody big Rocket and an even bigger glass milk bottle to launch it from!" responded Vime's.

"Not so Commander, I will require a few things from various parts of the city. If you take a look on the back of the sketch of the fish you will find a list."

Vime's turned over the sheet of paper, on it was a long list of parts one of which was the chimney of Zonkys factory and the Tower of Art at the Unseen University..........

Leonard smiled and said " The chimney was designed by Bloody Stupid Johnson as a slide for a water park that never got built due to the lethality of some of the attractions, apparently the Death slide was well named.... but I digress. I intent that the chimney will act as the rocket section that will launch the upper part into ring path. It will need to be packed with a substance that the Alchemist Guild will have to develop to my formula. The propelling substances will be packed inside the chimney. The chimney will be erected inside the Tower of art after the Eight Hundred and Eighty Eight steps have been removed.The top will need to be removed to allow exit of the projectile as well. The tower will keep it upright and direct it in the correct direction upon ignition, Thus negating the need for a very large stick and massive bottle to launce it from."

Ridcully looked vary angry, ponder looked very excited.........

"No, no.. can't be having that, the Tower is a sacrosanct place and I will not allow it." Burst out Ridcully.

Vetinari talked....."And would you like to explain this to the populace Arch chancellor? I am sure they will understand your viewpoint and not storm the University and lynch you at all......... Arch chancellor think. The people demand more than guidance from their leaders, they demand protection as well. Fail them and in the end you will find that hanging upside down with you throat cut is a negative thing."

Ridcully... " When do you need the steps out?"

Vetinari smiled.

"And now it is time to make a start, Sir Samuel if you can begin recovering the back Tax, work with Mr. Von Lipwig. And Mr. Dibbler will organise the removal of the chimney and transportation to the Alchemists workshop and then installation inside the Tower of art. Leonard will see to the construction of the upper section including the Telescope and Bubble habitat and the Wizards will start to develop the imp in conjunction with the Witches if they are willing to assist. Get to it please. Thank you."

With that they all made their way back to the guilds....... Vime's saw Nobby out side the door where He had been standing guard and having a crafty fag.

"Nobby.... Me,You and Fred were the original watch...and I know you two were like peas in a pod so I am going to ask you to do something I should but can't due to being run of my feet for the foreseeable future. Here is a letter, I had an idea something was going to happen when we got Vetinari's summons. Take it to Fred and tell Him it is from me..... we need Him back on the Watch."

"But He is on compassionate leave, do you think He is ready to return?" Nobby asked, fag wiggling about on His lower lip.

"Ya..... but I need Him. Tell Him that."

"Right you are Sir."

"OK, now off you go.... And Nobby don't forget He moved out of the City after finding His Home........ gone."

Nobby wiped His runny nose with the back of His sleeve. "I remember Sir, something's you never forget."

And with that everyone set about their various tasks....
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:33 pm

Part Five

--------- In the Country ----------------------

Nobby took the watch Horse and bouncing and jugging along the road from Ankh Morpork to Sto lat He made His way.

The rebuilding was going on at a pace, most of the ruined Homes were being rebuilt... some quicker than others.

Guild members used their influence to get favourable treatments but that is a Universal thing. Where people of power rule they always favour their own....

And then He was in the open country, crops were reseed and green feelers were pushing their way through the enriched soils, the ash from the fires had added extra nutrients to the ground and enriched the potential crop.

How much of it was from wind blown ash from the bodies incinerated in the fires is a matter of speculation....

He was at Fred's new home.... It was an old Farm house that had miraculously survived the Fireball, singed thatch the only signs of the catastrophe. As He rode up the dusty lane to the House Nobby could see Fred asleep in a rickety old rocking chair on the porch, a straw hat pulled over His face, sleeves rolled back to take advantage of the Sun.

Nobby tied the Horse to the gate post and pushed the gate open, it creaked open on rusty hinges..........

Fred pushed back His Hat, he looked haggard, dog tired. But He managed a smile of friendship on recognising Nobby..

"Hello My old friend." Nobby said.

Fred lumbered His way out of the seat and grasped Nobby in the strongest hug he had ever had. "Nobby it is great to see you again My old pal."

"OK Fred, give it a rest you are crushing Me!" Responded Nobbs, face turning Red with embarrassment and Blood pressure.

"Come on, lets have a drink." said Fred.

The two pals sat on the porch, Nobby Pint in hand and pulling on His everlasting Fag and Fred sipped a beer.

"Fred I have been asked to give you this, it comes direct from Mr. Vime's........." Nobby handed the letter to Fred.

"Unopened too, Nobby you are slipping." Fred commented.

"Didn't` need to open it Fred, I reckon I knows what's in it.... it's a recall........."

"Emmm, been expecting this for a while........ Its been a while since I found..... cough ........ found the misses under the rubble."

"Ya Fred and How is She now?"

A rosy face Woman almost as large as Fred came out of the front door, Two more Beers in hand.

"Ho She's doing fine thank you very much Mr. Nobbs." Said Fred's Wife.

Fred gave Her a peck on the cheek a tear trickled down His face.

"You know Nobby that day was a trousers of time moment for me,when we pulled the plaster and wood from the rubble and found the Wife under the table I have never felt so relieved. Every day on the Watch I was used to the possibility of Death or seeing it third hand, but when I thought I had lost Her I have never felt so empty........ I thank Annoya every day. She had launched the egg whisk under the table when the Wife pulled open the cupboard draw......... if She had not been under the table retrieving it......... well I am an Annoyian now!"

The sound of Children shouting and laughing grew louder and Ten or so kids of ages from Three to Sixteen ran around the corner.

"Daddy Fred is awake!" Shouted one of the younger ones.

"Yea!" the little ones ran up to Fred and gave Him a hug.

"Now, Now Kids Daddy has company,let's go and play on the swings. I will read to you all after supper, come on we will go and play!" Said Mrs. Colon.

With that they were gone again, off to the playing field Fred had constructed with the aid of some of the older Kids.

"Still fostering then...." said Nobby.

"Yea, it is hard work and I miss every one that gets placed in a new home but it is very rewarding, and tiring too!"

They laughed.

After a short moment of silence Nobby piped up...."Fred, what are you doing here. You were a good Sergeant on the force, but this?"

"To be honest I think I needed the change, after finding the Wife alive in the rubble it made me think. I can be more than a Copper, I can give more back to the World and by doing this..." He indicated the Big Home and surrounding land...

"Fostering kids is a good thing but you can only help so many Fred. There are Thousands of them now, I think Mr. Vime's has a bigger roll for you in the new Watch, me to possibly....."

"Well lets find out shall we......." Said Fred as He opened the letter.

It read.....

To Sergeant Frederick Colon from the office of the Ankh Morpork Watch and Commander Sir Samuel Vime's.

Dear Mr. Colon,
It is requested you report at your earliest convenience to the office of Carrot Ironfoundersson in relation to your return to duty. I am sorry to have to recall you so soon and appreciate that you may feel some reluctance to return to duty so soon but the need for experienced officers has never been so great..... and due to the need for experienced officers in these difficult times Lord Vetinari has ordered a call up. Sorry Fred, if you are reading this then I am unable to spare the time to speak in person, and you are now looking at Nobby.... sorry! I need wise heads on the beat and between the both of you two are Years of practical knowledge about the ways a criminal can pilfer goods and Money from the system. I need you two to keep an eye on a project that will be of the utmost importance to the City. I intend to put both of you in charge of the security for said project..... Poacher becomes Gamekeeper as it is said, especially in Nobby's case!

Hope to hear from you soon Sam.

Well Well, thought Fred........... Am I ready? Do I want to go back......... but it is an important project, not the normal Saturday Night Drunk pick up or cell Duty.

"Vime's said there will be a pay rise along with the new posting, an extra Twelve Dollars a Month... each." Said Nobbs, spotting the look of deep thought on Fred's face.

"I will need a day or Two to think it over, I am passed the retirement age you know..... and I will have to run it by the Wife, She will be stuck out here with the Kids........ " Responded Fred.

"I expect the watch can spare a Horse, it is only a Half hours hard ride from the gates. If vimesy wants you back I reckon you could wangle a free one." Puffed Nobby.

Fred smiled, the old Farm House had unused stables at the rear of the property that remained unused, He was going to convert it to a play room but he smell of the soaked in urine had put a stop to that idea, no matter how hard He had scrubbed the inside it was impossible to clear the odorous stink...

"Pay rise, free transport and better Duties......very tempting."

So Nobby and Fred spent the afternoon on the porch, drinking and chatting...... Mrs. Colon made some Lunch and Fred discussed the offer with Her. And it was decided, Fred was back on the Force........ and Nobby fell of the Horse on its way back to the Watch House....... Drinking and Riding, don't do it!.
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:34 pm

Part Six

-------------------- Construction of the Scope ------------------------

Leonard was at his workshop with an Army of workers at the ready. Spread out on a very large table were the freshly drawn plans for the device...

"Now gentlemen if you care to examine the design I will go through the basic ideas on how we are to construct the parts."

The team Leaders gathered around the table. Leonard picked up a pointer and tapped the drawing...

"Please note that the bubble living compartment, it will be manufactured at the Zonkys from a thin rubber balloon with windows inset that will allow the passage of defuse Sunlight through the skin. This will have Three effects , the First is to power the imp, the Second too keep the internal pressure inside the bubble at an acceptable pressure and finally the Light will heat the inside so the imp will not freeze in the vacuum of space. It will be launched atop the Rocket packed un-inflated, a large cylinder of squashed Air will be opened by a timer that is started by the force of launch, then the imp will be released from this pressurised compartment on the side of the package to set up a living habitat once the bubble is at full inflation. The windows will allow the imp to signal with a mirror and observe instructions from the ground. Here next to the second window are a set of sextants and navigational equipment and a set of valves, the valves will be used to release small amounts of squashed Air to directional nozzles that will allow the scope to be aimed at any target we want to inspect."

The pointer moved to the Scope....

"The scope will be a more difficult thing to manufacture, I have had to redesign the device as I realised rather belatedly that the weight of a normal seeing far away device would be to high, the glass lenses alone would be massive... no. I have a new design. I have been in contact with the Arch-Astronomer of Krull and have agreed to share any information we gather in exchange for a water skimmer flyer lens made by Fresnel’s Wonderful Concentrator and various ingredients. For anyone who is ignorant of this device it is a bowl shaped thing made to fly above the waves powered by Hydrophobes. Fortunately for us it is the correct shape on the upper surface to gather Light and focus it to a point, at the focal point I will mount a tiny mirror that will reflect the light back to an eye piece that the imp will view from. The skimmer is quite thin, but it is transparent. The surface will have to be Mirrored. I will have the Alchemists and Artificers work to coat it with a process of an oven heated and flooded with gaseous silver. This should give an even yet thin coat that will be reflective once polished. A small portion of the Lens will, at its centre, be left uncoated to allow the focus light through to the eye piece. The reflector will then be mounted in a thin tin tube made of foil, the foil wrapped around a framework of tubing to give it support and strength to survive the launch."

There was murmuring and nodding of Heads form the crowded table...

One of the Senior Guild men spoke up "Why build this and go to all the trouble of getting it up there, we could place a scope on the Moon, send up a crew to build one on it. Why put this in the empty space?"

"Indeed I had considered this as a project but unfortunately there are problems with using the Moon as a base. Consider... there is an Atmosphere on the Moon, this will interfere with the focus on space objects, they will look blurry and that is no good. On Worlds with Moons that have no Atmosphere this would be an option but not for us. And also there are the Moon Dragons to consider.. we would be interfering with their ways and Environment and that is something I do not condone. They were inquisitive creatures and would probably get in the way of the building and operation of the Scope." Responded Leonard.

"I see." responded the Man.

"The flying Disc is already on its way from Krull, here are a set of instructions for the Men at Zonkys." Said Leonard as He handed a sheets to subordinates.

"I already have the navigation tools at my studio,you chaps from the Alchemists and Artificers prepare the equipment and Chemicals required for the Mirroring process and manufacture of the required parts,please see Mr. Dibbler for supplies that you may need. I believe He has His nephew Sol working for Him now and He is a very clever Lad, so supplies should not be a problem. Cash for purchases can be applied for from Mr. Moist von Lipwig at the Tax office. We will have to replace the Chimney at Zonkys so can someone from the Builders Guild please confer with the foreman at Zonkys about a Brick built replacement. Thank you..... well Gent's lets get going....."

With that they group split up, the project was underway.........
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:34 pm

Part Seven

--------- New Jobs for Fred and Nobby ---------------

Fred showed up at Pseudopolis Yard the morning of the very next morning, clean and keen to get back to the job. On the front Desk was A.E. Pessimal.

"Good morning A.E., how have things been going since my absence?"

"Ha, Sergeant Colon it is very satisfying to see you back on the beat, some of the lads were betting against you not coming back but I knew better. I have made a tidy sum on that wager!" Said A.E.

"So glad they were all missing my guidance." responded Fred with a touch of annoyance in his words.

"Just pop up to the Captains office to report in please, Captain Ironfoundersson is expecting you." A.E. responded with a grin.

"Bloody betting on me not returning, the cheek of it. I would like to know Who put that bet on, I will have to have a word with them." Inquired Fred.

"Dorfl and Detritus I have been led to believe..."

Fred gave a cough and made His way to see Captain Ironfoundersson.

"Hello Fred, so glad you came back. Sir Samuel was not entirely sure that you would return." Said Carrot as He carefully placed a Shiny Breast plate down on His desk.

"Had a bet on did He?"

"Sorry?" said Carrot.

"Oh, nothing Sir.. just feeling a little testy. Now what is so urgent that Mr. Vime's felt so pressed to call me back so soon?" said Fred.

"I am not sure if you have been keeping up with the new City project but we are trying to place a device in space of Leonard of Quirm's design that will help to prevent any future catastrophes. Mr. Vime's wants both you and Nobby to keep an eye on the project and police it. You will have a free hand and full support of the Watch. Your tasks will include securing the sites of the project and making sure that nothing vital to the project go's missing. So keep an eye on Nobby."

"And I start right away?" Inquired Fred.

"Yes, you will be in charge of this and Nobby will work under you directly. Mr. Vime's feels that if you Two can think like a Thief or saboteur then we can keep a step ahead of the mob."

"Sorry, Theft Yes that is possible but sabotage? Who would think of that....." Replied Fred.

"Sad to say that even in situations like this there will be someone who will try to derail this project. Simple vandalism, stupidity or religious doctrine... the Star Sect are unhappy about mankind examining the Universe as created, there are still a few of the Star Sects about. You know, the sect that appeared when the Turtle went to the red Star to visit Her babies..."

"My Gods... I remember their blank faces and the book burnings........but would they be mad enough to cause trouble?"

"Just between you and Me Fred, Mr.Vime's has an insider in the Star Sect and there has been a lot of unrest in their ranks."

"Some one under cover? Who?"

"Sorry Fred but I can't tell you that at the moment as I promised my informant total animosity, if they were rumbled it would be a fatal error." And you would not believe Me anyway thought Carrot to Him Selves.

Fred scratched His balding scalp and nodded. "Mums the word then, right I had better get off and reconnoitre the workshops and set up an Iron ring of security."

Carrot nodded in return.

Fred gave Carrot a salute and about faced, stomping from the room.

Carrot went back to polishing His Armour.
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:35 pm

Part Eight

----------- Church of the Rising Sun ------------

"Vestup and I will, kipper the dogs a good en."

"Shush, I told you just move your lips and I will do the speaking." Gaspode told Ron.

The Dynamic Duo made their way up the steps at the Sun Worshipers Church. The sturdy wooden doors were open to all. A Red Star daubed on each door.... the paint faded from Years of exposure to the corrosive elements and peeling through lack of maintenance. From inside the dark and dank chambers chants and whispered pleas could be heard.

"Good afternoon my Friend, welcome back." Said the door keeper as He handed Ron a small Bible with a Red star embossed on its grimy Leather cover.

Ron took the book and looked at with little comprehension, He moved His lips.

"Thank you Brother. And thank you for allowing My Thinking Guide Dog inside the House of God."

The doorman gave Ron that strange look that everyone gave Him when He was making sense, everyone was used to Ron shouting out gibberish as He and the Crew were out pushing the Morning News Papers.

But a Miracle had happened. When Ron had drifted into the Church one rainy day with His Dog he had spoken normally (but slightly out of sync for some reason) and this was taken as an act of God, the Sun God had cured him. Ron was taken in as a member of the Church and an example of the power of the Sun God.......... now if the Sun God could just cure the stench He gave off that would be a undisputable Miracle!

The dog lurched forward pulling Ron along with Him, claws skidding on the slippery worn flagstone floor...

"Come on, time to pray.."

The pair made their way to the church pews.

"Right, you stay here, just look in the book and whisper something and I will scout about.And do not repeat last weeks episode, the Font is not a Toilet........." Said Gaspode as He skittered off.

Ron stared into the untranslatable writings that were in front on Him. It made no sense to Him and not just because the Bible was upside Down. Reading had been beyond Him ever since He had drunk all that paint stripper when He was a Seven Year Old child. Since then things had taken a turn for the worst.... "Gallop a fish, I told em, dark in the Head."

Gaspode looked back and shook His head. "Poor old sod, how do you get like that... the Gods have a lot to answer for." He said to Him self.

A door that led down a short set of steps was ajar as normal, the lock was rusted open and it always swung open under its own weight. Gaspode pushed His nose through the gap and slipped though the door into the inner sanctum.

A group of robed men were seated around a round table, a Red Star painted on the table top........

Gaspode slinky His way into a dark corner, unnoticed.

"Brothers we have to act now, the abomination will bring a knowledge that Man was never intended to attain, we can explore spiritual and metaphysical knowledge but the Universe is beyond our eyes for a reason. We were never meant to have warning of our fate, if we had been forewarned that The Great A'Tuin were to approach the Star all those Years ago we may have interfered and caused the Deaths of the Young A'Tuin's. The universe deals you a fate and that is the fate that you deserve. By looking for a way to avoid fate you are going against the God. We are all agreed, we must stop this affront to the great one."

There was a general nodding of Heads and grunts of agreement, all except one of the group who raised a hand.

"Yes Brother?" Said the first speaker.

"Maybe we were supposed to make this device as the god has allowed its inspiration and we should perhaps help in the......" The speaker never got to finish His sentence as the first speaker had draw an rapier and thrust it through the Man with lighting speed. He slumped and topped of His seat.

"So it is unanimous, we must act." Said the speaker as he wiped the Blood from the sword, then sheathed it.

There was a shocked silence from the rest of the group.

"Good." The man drew a sheet of note paper from a pocket and ticked a box on it.

"I have drawn up a plan of attack, we will move on Two fronts. First I suggest a campaign on disinformation and unrest be spread around the City. Word of mouth, posters and pamphlets given out free to anyone who will listen to our ideas. This will be our public face but I also want to see action on a practical basis. I have managed by various means to infiltrate into the work force hired for the project a few good men, they will take action on My instructions and are willing to sacrifice them selves in the name of our cause."

"If I may interject at this point, by actions I take it you mean sabotage?" Spoke another cowled shadowy figure.

"Sabotage.... but you make it sound like we are doing something wrong, we are just doing the work of God. How can that be wrong.... sabotage is the wrong word sir. Call it........ freedom fighting against the demonic forces of power. For we are freedom fighter in the true sense of the word... we are fighting against a power that would have us go against gods will." He then stabbed the second man through the heart with the rapier.

"Any more questions? No. Very good."

The Leader turned to a figure seated to His right, it flinched as He addressed it.

"Brother Fingers here will arrange for vital components to go missing."

Bloody hell why do I get involved with these crank cults, I will get out of this one and join a main stream church like the En darkened Sect of the New Coming of Bel- Shamharoth thought Brother Fingers.

The leader turned to the next man.

"Brother Cook will introduce a little extra spice to the canteen food, I would not be surprised if quite a few workers are off with upset tummies."

He turned to the final living Brother.

"And finally Brother Fire raiser will see to it that if these efforts are unsuccessful the thing will burn like kindling."

The leader clapped His hand and a group of acolytes appeared from the shadows and removed the bodies of the dead Men. One of the acolyte pointed at the shadow where Gaspode had taken to hiding. He had been spotted entering the room!

The Leader moved across to the shadow and grasped Gaspode by the rough of His neck and hoisted Him into the Air.

"Come on boy, out you go." He said as He ejected Gaspode from the meeting back into the church hall. The door slammed closed behind the Dog and a chair could be heard scrapping across the stone floor and be shoved against the door.

"Phew, that was a close call. Ho well that's the end of that then, now more hiding on the dark and spying for me." Gaspode said to Him self.

Gaspode looked around and spotted Ron hiding a silver goblet under His coat, the man at the door was distracted by a few new worshipers at the main doors.

Gaspode ran across to the Man and said. "Come on, we are finished here. It is getting to dangerous for us to hang about. Let's go see carrot and collect our rewards. Finest Beef for me and a bottle of the strippers for you!"

Ron licked His grime incrusted lips and said."Goor, best filth in the crib. Do a frog to me throat."

"Yes....." responded Gaspode totally baffled, as He thought if Ron was on the same Disc as Him or even in the same Universe.

"Come on lets go."

The pair exited the Church and made their way to see Carrot and collect their rewards..........

Death stepped from the shadows, the floor of the chamber slowly dissolving away and turning to Black sand.


The Two acolytes Skewered by the leader looked at each other, then at Death. They said nothing.

"HA,I SEE YOU ARE SUN WORSHIPPERS, PLEASE FOLLOW ME. I HOPE YOU HAVE PACKED A STRONG SUNBURN CREAM." Death turned towards a light so bright it started to turn the Black sand to Glass..............
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:36 pm

Part Nine

------------ Informant ----------------

Carrot was strolling through a small wooded area of the city, parkland is scarce in Ankh-Morpork.

Bloody Stupid Johnson had done a few landscapes the palace being the best known, but total failure had never put Him off having another go. This one was one of His less deadly efforts. The Shark infested lake and Eucalyptus Trees with Drop Bears being the only real Dangers to life here. If you stayed on the well worn paths you were in no more Danger than anywhere else in the city,possibly safer due to the lack of muggers hiding in the trees.......... any mugger daft enough to hide in a Forest of Trees that house Drop Bears has a short and violent Life span. The skeletons littering the floor under the trees paid testament to this....

Carrot whistled a little ditty and slowly made His way toward the lake, a large package wrapped in brown paper that dripped Blood under one arm and a bottle in His hand.

At the lake side a park bench faced the water, Carrot took a seat and opened the package. Fins could be seen cutting across the surface of the Lake heading towards the Lake side. Carrot took out a cut of Meat and threw it onto the water....... the water erupted into a thrashing mass of shark head and fins, White Teeth cutting and ripping into the flesh.

"OY, stop wasting food on those things, they get enough from Chrysoprase and The Breccia." Said a Doggy voice from under the Seat.

"What have you got for me then Gaspode." Said Carrot throwing another lump of Meat to Fish.

"Ok Ok, now stop wasting the food. I managed to get into the sanctum and the Cult had a meeting. They plan to try to stop the Bubble Telescope by turning the People against it and also they have a few Men inside and plan sabotage."

"And what do they plan to sabotage then?" Asked Carrot.

"I do not no."

"Are you sure?" Said Carrot as He mad to throw the last of the Meat into the water.

"YES YES." Gaspode shouted.

Carrot dropped the meat on the ground, a Paw flicked out from under the seat and the lump vanished. Chomp Chomp Gulp.

"I got rumbled so I can not do any more spying, not hat I am sad about that. If anyone on the Streets got wind that I have been working for the Watch I will be skinned in no time at all. I will miss the pay though." Said Gaspode.

"Not worried about Ron dobbin you in to the wrong sort?"

Gaspode sniggered.

"Do you think anyone of them would understand anything He has to say!"

"Yes, good point Gaspode! I should have thought that one through........ here is Ron's treat." Said Carrot placing the Bottle on the ground. Gaspode emerged from under the seat, glancing around to make sure there was no one else around and picked it up in His mouth.

"Shee Uher." He said as He trotted off into the Forested area........... Ron was immune to Drop Bears as His stench acted like a force shield. And Gaspode was to scrawny a meal for the Bears to bother with......

Carrot stood up and stared into the deep waters of the Lake deep in thought. We still need someone on the inside I will have to contrive a devious plan............. He was wondering what Reg Shoe is doing......... Carrot snapped out of the trance and made His way back down the path.

"Evening Mr .Chrysoprase." Said Carrot to the Troll as He emerged from the woods covered in Drop Bears, a large sack over one shoulder.

"Evening Mr. Carrot." He responded as He brushed off the Bears, they scuttled back to their Tree top ambush bowers.

"Feeding the Fish again?" Asked Carrot.

"Someone has got to." Said the Troll.

"Well be careful not to fall in....." Said Carrot, then stopped as thought of Chrysoprase being attacked by Sharks.

Can a Troll Eat Shark?

"Right you are Mr. Carrot!"

"See you then."

"Good Evening."

The pair made off, Carrot devising a plan and Chrysoprase subduing the Shark food. It had came back round to consciousness after recovering from the blow it had received Half an Hour earlier..........
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:37 pm

Part Ten

----------- Carrot and Vime's --------------

"So what's your plan then Carrot?"

"Simple Mr. Vime's.... Reg Shoe is willing to try and infiltrate the Sun Cult. It is a risky venture but He said He is willing to give it a go."

"And just how do you intend to insert a Watch member into this criminal group without arousing suspicion? Give Reg a false Nose and Beard? Carrot everyone knows Reg, He is hard to miss!"

"I have a cunning plan!"

Ho Gods thought Vime's. "Lets hear it then."

"I intend to raid the Church on the pre tense that they are harbouring illegal Elves, Reg will be part of the unit but I will have Him come to their defence when one of the unit get over enthusiastic......... I have asked Nobby to try to torch the Church, but not actually do this, and Reg will step in and stop Him. This should draw attention to Reg from their Leader....... I will Have Reg feed them information to gain their trust and hopeful learn there plans."

Vime's gave carrot a long look.

"Bloody stupid plan but I doubt I could concoct anything better. OK I authorise the raid, just be careful not to blow it."

"Thank you Sir." Said Carrot.

That evening the unit gathered a Street away from the Church. Carrot, Reg Shoe, Detritus, Fred Colon, Nobby and A.E. lined up. Vime's inspected the crew.

"Are we all clear about Captain Carrot's plan? Nobby...... are you clear on this.Yes good."

They made their way to the Church, the doors were closed and barred.

"Battering ram to the front." Shouted Vime's.

"Right you are Mr. Vime's." Responded Detritus as He squared His Helmet. He then lowered His head (Which, to be fair, was already pretty low to start with) and charged the doors. They splintered like matchwood. The Four Hundred Year old oak threw splinters in all directions.

The unit rushed through the wrecked entrance, flaming touches thrusting into the dark corners.

A man in a dark cloak arose from His prone position of prayer in front of the Large Golden Orb set into the wall opposite the doors.

"What is the meaning of this outrage!" He shouted.

Vime's strode forward and handed Him a search warrant. "This is a raid, we believe that you have been Harbouring Elves on these grounds. We are authorised to search here and if you or anyone in your employ interfere we will arrest you."

"A.E. you go up with Fred and search the spire, Me and Detritus will search Here, Nobby and Reg search the crypts and Carrot stand guard on the door...... sorry hole in the wall and make sure no one enters or leaves. Move it."

They all made their way to the allotted tasks.

Nobby and Reg headed to the door that led to the crypt. As the lock was broken the door easily swung open, the dark and uninviting stone passage descending into the gloom. Nobby led the way, torch thrust in front case eerie shadow ahead of them.

They found them selves in a large chamber with a round table at the centre of the space. Off to one side was a small printing press and piles of print. Nobby picked up a leaflet and held the light up to it. He read the script slowly forefinger tracing the progress of His voice.

"To the people of the great city, harken to our warning........ the Sun god will punish anyone who helps in the blasphemous task that the evil leaders of the city has set upon. The one true God will not tolerant this and our leaders will bring Death and Destruction upon our World if we do nothing to stop this outrage.......... join us in fighting the good fight, take up arms against those who would harm you and your loved ones and trust in the love of the one true God."

He screwed the parchment into a ball and threw it at the Robed Man who had followed them into the crypt.

"I lost some good friend in the Great fires and all you lot can do is to try and sourer any efforts to protect our great World....... you lot make me sick."

The robed Man stepped back under the fire of spittle from Nobby's mouth, the Man looked insane!

"Now now Nobby, we are here to search for Elves and not to harass this poor Chap. He is initialed to His own opinions no matter how stupid we may think them." Said Reg.

"It is all right for you Reg, you never lost anyone in the flames. But I did.... and I isn't at all happy with this here." Said Nobby pointing to the sheaths of paper.

Reg moved to Nobby's side and tried to pull Him away from the press. "Come on mate, I think you need some fresh air."

Nobby jerked His arm away violently from Reg's grasp, which unfortunately was a little to tight. As Nobby's arm came free the Torch slipped from His numb finger and smashed into the piles of paper, the oil soaked rags of the Torch scattered and flowed over the paper and press... there was a whomph and the semi dry oil based inks on the print of the press exploded into flame, rivulets of fire spreading like......... well........ fire.

"Bloody ell!" Screamed Nobby as He beat out flames around His ankles.........

Reg shouted at Nobby. "You ----ing retard, you have done it now!" He turned and grabbed the shocked Man, lifted Him over His shoulder and carried Him from the crypt.....
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:37 pm

Part Eleven

------------- In Hot Water-----------

"So you set a fire in the Church........." Vetinari stood at His window and watched the flames being extinguished from a dozen Homes in Church Street. The Church it self was a Blackened Shell.

Nobby stood in front of the desk, trembling like a week old sapling in a hurricane. He said nothing.

"Fortunately there appears to be no loss of life." Interjected Vetinari into the thick heavy silence.

Vime's gave a cough. "I take full responsibility for this unfortunate incident Sir........ and I will personally reimburse any losses to the population or land owners of the properties."

"I am led to believe that you , in fact, are the Landlord for most of the Housing as they were part of the Ramkin estates....." Responded Vetinari.

"True Sir, but I will have the People re housed and the hobbles torn down and replaced with habitable dwellings. I think the fire is an improvement." Said Vime's.

"Well the plan worked better than we could have hoped, when the Man in the rode told their Leader that Reg had rescued Him from the flames and chided Nobby. He has made contact with Reg."

Vetinari glared over at Vime's and responded. "Well it was a convincing event. Good. But I must be seen to take action against Corporal Nobbs, else the City will loose faith in our rule."

Vetinari sighed and took His seat behind the desk. He reached into a draw and pulled out a mortarboard, he placed it on His Skull.......

"Cecil Wormsborough St. John Nobbs, AKA Nobby Nobbs I find you guilty of the heinous crime of Fire Starting, do you understand that this is a very serious crime? The punishment is Death by roasting.... alive."

Vime's looked like he had been pole axed, He made to speak but Vetinari held up a hand.

Nobby trousers had turned a darker colour that ran down inside of His legs, His trembling voice said. "Yes Sir, I do Sir."

"And do you have anything to say in your defence?"

"I did not intend to set a Fire Sir, I was only following orders and made a mistake."

"Only following orders is no excuse, you can do anything and say I was only following orders if it were so."

Nobby stood in silence........ a tear ran down His cheek.

Vetinari took a deep breath.

"This is my decision.... Cecil Wormsborough St. John Nobbs you are to reduced in rank to Trainee, one Month pay to be docked. You will be made to go though retraining at the Watch induction School. However I will leave it up to your commanding officer to decide when it is convenient to apply these punishments. We are, at the moment, to stretched to lose a serving Man for the amount of time it would take for you to pass the induction tests. You are dismissed. Please sent in Drumknott with a bucket and Mop on your way out."

Nobby's eyes turned up in their sockets, the whites only showing and then with amazing slowness He collapsed in a faint..........

Vetinari glanced over the edge of the table. "One of your best Men Sir Samuel?"

Vime's said. "You have a means streak in you don't you."

Vetinari smiled, picked up a pile of papers and started to sign requisitions for building materials. He whistled a little cheery tune......
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:38 pm

Part Twelve

---------- Reg is tested ------------------

It was night and the burnt out Shell of the Church was taped off with the official Watch tape, the words DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES CROSS THIS TAPE LINE AND THAT MEANS YOU TO IF YOU ARE A WIZARD. Out front of the ruin Odo Nazbuk, freshly qualified Officer of the Law. He polished the newly minted Brass badge with pride. In Überwald He had been a lowly jobbing Thatch restorations Man, years and Years of tiresome drudgery a head of Him. He saw His future and made the decision that He was going to avoided it........ He headed to Ankh-Morpork and joined to Watch. Now He was a happier chap, with possibly exciting and unknown adventure ahead of Him.

But not tonight........ tonight He was to guard the burnt out shell of the Church to stop the locals from stripping the place before Cheery Littlebottom and the rest of Forensics could go through the ashes in the Morning.

Head of Security Sergeant Fred Colon had put Him on Guard duty tonight, and Man was it a dark Night. No Moon, low heavy cloud and a fresh wind. Odo pulled the edge of His Watch issue coat up to cover His exposed neck, the chill air frosting as he blew into His cold hands.

From within the Church ruin cam the sound of a heavy coffin lid being slid back, then crunch and boom as it hit the floor. Odo froze.

"Errr.... hello....iz dare anyone in dare?" He called out, voice all a tremble. Maybe fixing Thatching was not such a bad job.

"Hello." He called out again......... "Any von dare?"

The shadows seemed to deepen as He looked into the gaping and charred ruin. He could hear sounds of movement from within. Could be kids or looters going through the ruin, could have got in around the back of the Church He thought.

Odo raised the tape barrier and moved into the dark.......... the noise seemed to be coming from the crypt area, the blackened door that led to the steps going down was ajar, Odo pushed it fully open and raised a small lantern He had been issued with. He gave it a shake and the small Glowworm awoke and started to shine, the Green glow did nothing to raise Odo's spirits as He went down the steps.

"Hallo dare, Vatchman ere....... iz dare anyvon dare...?" Odo repeated, trying to sound a little less frightened than He was.

The crypt opened out into a large chamber, the Glowworm's radius of light extended only a few feet around Odo. He was exposed, a Man alone in the dark and lit up like a eerie target.

In one far corner Odo could justabout make out the shape of a tall figure in a dark robe, in the figures hand were White sheets of paper rescued from a charred cupboard and against the wall a long Sword with a White Bone Handle rested. The figure slowly turned to face Odo, the face hidden in the darkness of the crypts gloom...........

Bang.....the lights went out for Odo.

The figure reached out and recovered His Sword.

"Well done Brother Fingers, you and Brother Fire starter take this idiot to the hideaway at the docks, I need to find out what He has seen before we dispose of Him. He will come in useful...." Said the Leader.

The two acolytes bundled Odo's limp body into a cart at the rear of the Church and they all made their way to the hideaway.

The Night passed, the city came back to full awakening.

A.E. Pessimal turned up at he Church at first light to relieve Odo Nazbuk........ but He was missing.

The rest of the Watch turned up shortly after.

"Where has He gone? Dereliction of duty is a sacking offence." Said Fred as He turned to Vime's.

"New lad, well maybe He decided being a Watchman is not all it has been cracked up to be and did a runner.,, it has happened in the past." Said Vime's.

"I don't think so Sir." Said Cheery Littlebottom as She lifted the barrier exiting the Church.

"It looks like Odo entered the Church at some point last Night, there are fresh foot prints in the ash that led into the crypt area. In the chamber are scuff marks on the floor where I think Two or Three people dragged something heavy out through the back gate and across the Grave Yard to the street out back."

"Someone has abducted a Watchman?"

"It looks that way Sir."

"Gods this is all we need now. Why abduct Him though..... young lad out of Überwald. He has only been here a few Months and is a Green recruit. Where the profit in taking Him?" Vime's asked Himself.

"Maybe he interrupted something going on last night, in the ruins."

"Could be, could be. I want you to go over the ruins with a fine tooth comb, check every thing and leave no stone unturned. Do it."

"Very good Sir." Said Cheery. She waved Her investigation crew into the ruins and went back in with them.

Vime's turned to Fred. "Fred I put you in charge of security, why did you put a Green recruit on guard duty alone last Night?"

"Never thought anyone would bother returning to this wreck Sir, the place is gutted. It looked like a simple job, just keep the local kids off the ruins until Morning...... and it was only a fire caused by Nobby clumsiness and not a real Crime scene Sir." Said Fred.

"Well ok, but it is a crime scene now. I want Two Men out back and front until Cheery has finished up here, got that?"

"Yes Sir." Replied Colon.

"This is getting away from us Fred, I have a bad feeling about this...."

Mean while..........

At the Hideaway Odo awoke, His head thumping with pain, dried Blood made a matted mess of His thick Brown hair.

He opened an eye, He was bound to a kitchen chair. The other eye would not open, it was swollen and stuck down with blood.

Odo could hear voices from the other side of a door.

"Now my friend we were very grateful for your assistance during the fire, indeed our Brother Fingers here would most likely have perished in the flames if it were not for your valiant effort."

"I saw it as My god given duty to save the righteous for if I can not help out a fellow spiritual traveller in His moment of need then I should be cast into the dark places between the stars."

Odo recognised that voice.... Reg Shoe! He was saved!

"Good Man, but you know Reg saving a life is just one of the many things we have to do to preserve our ways. Sometimes we have to defend our creed from the ever present evils that can try to control our lives. Some times we need to weed out pockets of evil...."

"Not to sure as to your meaning there Leader...."

"Reg, sometimes have to eradicate the unholy in our life...."

The door opened and a group of Men entered the room, Reg was at the front of the crowd with a robed figure at his side. The Leader was carrying a Strong in the Arm lever action Crossbow.

Reg looked at Odo and with a look of shock recognised Him.

"That's Odo, the new recruit from Überwald! I know Him well, we were only chatting together about His Family the other day." He said.

"Is it? Well Reg now you have to prove to us you faith in the one and only Sun God." The Leader handed Reg the weapon.

Reg looked from the Crossbow to Odo and back again as if He were weighing up a bad idea.

"You can't be serious, this Man is a friend and an Officer of the Watch........ you can't expect Me to kill Him can you?" There was a note of pleading on Reg's voice.

"We all have made sacrifices in the name of our Lord, now Reg it is your turn. Kill this unbeliever." Said the Leader as He laid a Hand on the Bone Handle of His sword.

Reg could feel the tension in the Air, the other acolytes moved closer keen to see the outcome.... someone was going out feet first.

"Reg don't do zis Reg...pleaze mate make dem let me gow..... I promize I vont say anyzing about dis... I vill go back do Überwald und never come back I promize...." Pleaded Odo.

Reg looked at the Leader, but there was no mercy in the dark shape.

"Do it now Reg...... it is the only way we can be sure of your trust. Now Reg."

Reg slowly, very slowly raised the Crossbow. He slowly closed one eye and took aim along the shaft of the Bolt. The end of the Crossbow wavered as Reg stood there shaking.

Odo was transfixed by the point of the Bolt.

"We are waiting Reg." The Leader whispered into Reg's Left ear.

"I am so sorry Odo..." Reg said and pulled the trigger........

The bolt went with a thwacking sound into Odo neck, it cut through tissues and the end came through the other side of His neck, the Feathered shaft sticking out of the entry wound. Odo stared at Reg for a few seconds then toppled over backward taking the chair over with Him.

He thrashed about in His bonds for a few seconds making a terrible gurgling sounds and then lay silent.

Reg stood transfixed, He then dropped the Weapon like as if it had become red hot and then fell to His knees and threw up.

The Leader placed a hand on Reg's shoulder and said. "Welcome to the Brotherhood friend."

The Leader then turned to a couple of acolytes. "Take the body to the boiler room and incinerate it."

Reg stood up, shaking from head to toe. "Please Leader let me send Him on His way in the manor of His clan, I got to know the lad when He joined up and He told me about How His father was sent on as they call it."

"Why do you worry about heathen rites, this Man will be in Hell for not following the One True Faith." The Leader responded.

"He may end up in Hell but I was the one who sent Him there, I feel it is my duty to see that He is given a fighting chance in His afterlife. I will not back down on this one issue..." Reg said, a note of defiance in His voice.

"The Leader gave a shrug. "Very well My Brother, if it will make you feel better I will have one of the other Brothers assist you in this rite. But Reg do not test my patience again, I am the Leader and My word is as Gods word. Do you understand?"

Reg nodded.

The Leader pointed at one of the others. "You help Him."

The Leader walked out of the room.

Reg untied the bonds on Odo's body and with the help of the other brother carried the body out the rear of the House.

At the rear the River passed close the fence, Reg found some old pallets piled up against the fence.

The Two of them laid Odo's body out face up on one of the pallets and Reg secured it to the pallet with some of the rope that had been used to tie Odo to the chair.

With much effort the Two managed to launch the pallet onto the River.... Reg stood in silence as the pair of them watched the pallet with Odo's body float off around a bend in the River. Reg said nothing but threw a few flowers He had scavenged from the Garden out onto the surface of the River.

The pair made their way back into the House in silence.......
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:39 pm

Part Thirteen

----------- Beans Spilled -------------

Reg was seated at Captain Carrots desk. On the other side of the desk were Carrot,Fred,Vime's and ........ Odo.

Odo had a thick bandage wrapped around His neck.

"Well when I recognised Odo I remembers He is a Werewolf, the arrow was not silver tipped so I thought well so long as I do not completely sever His neck He should make a complete recovery.... sorry but I had to do it Odo."

"I vondered vhy you vinked at Me juzt before de shoot, good job I kan play ded! Vloody hurt like ell zough...... de thrashink about added an helement of drama to ze scene don't you zink." Said Odo.

Reg laughed.

"Good job it was you they captured though, if it had been a normal.... err.... sorry .. non undead, well I would have had to fight my way out of there."

Carrot examined the testament written by Constable Shoe... He then said.

"Very good. Now Odo you need to keep a low profile until this operation is over and we will ask you to take up residence at Chitterling Street Station in one of the secure cells. The information gained by Reg has been very useful. Apart for minor inconveniences they intend to give us like doctoring the food for the workers, for example, The Sun Cult intend to sabotage the Launch Vehicle just before it Launches. The reasoning behind this is so they can destroy the entire project in one go. Also this means that only a core group know their plan thus lessening the odds of a breach of information.Very military in operation, I wonder who the Leader is...?"

Vime's spoke up. "We are going to find out... I think we have enough evidence to put these people behind bars for quite some considerable time. We will charge them with conspiracy to cause damage to public property and Treason.... gentlemen please recall all officers back to duty as we are raiding the Hideout tonight. Many of the cult will be at prayer there." He stood up and dismissed the Men.
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:40 pm

Part Fourteen

------ Raid and a Shock -----

The gargoyles were watching the Hideout and slowly over a few Hours furtive figures made there way to it.

All under the Watch of the Watch.

Finally the leader was seen to enter the House, He arrived in a dark coach that had an Igor in the driving seat.

Reg had already entered the House dressed in an acolyte robe. Inside the cult members were already at prayer, all kneeling in front of a Large Gold coloured Globe, heads pressed to the floor.

The doors burst open as Officer Granite of the Watch shouldered Igor out of His way. "No body is to move, this is the Watch and this is another raid!" Shouted the troll as from behind Him over Thirty Men thundered into the rooms. Doors were kicked open and people unceremoniously slammed against walls and cuffed.

The leader however had time to raise a Hatch hidden under the alter and had dropped down into an escape tunnel, He dropped a file of Oil onto the floor to cover His tracks............

The Figure made its way down the dark tunnel, the exit lay ahead in at the rear of the House behind the pile of old wooden pallets piled up there.

He thought ..."Ho well.... I knew this would happen eventually, the others are expendable... but so long as I can complete the task all should be as it should be."

He pushed against the hatch and lifted the panel and leapt from the tunnel onto the lawn.

In front of Him were Vime's, Carrot, Fred and Reg Shoe....

"Hello, off somewhere are we Sir?" Said Vime's.

The Leader reached down and in a flash drew His sword, but it was to late.

Behind Him and exiting the Tunnel was Cheery Littlebottom,She had sized up the situation at a glance and Her War Axe cleaved the Leaders Head clean from his neck. It rolled to the feet of Vime's still enclosed in its hood. Vime's pulled back the hood and gasped in shock...........

"Its bloody John Keel! How the hell is this possible....... He taught me all I needed to know when I joined the Watch and He was killed before the uprising.........." Exclaimed Vime's.

The Air started to wobble and turn a light shade of Blue, everything around Vime's ground to a halt.

From behind the pile of old pallets a thin Man dressed in a long toga stepped forward.

It was sweeper. "Hello again Mr. Vime's, long time no see."

Vime's nodded his head. "Might have guessed your lot have had something to do with this, what's going on today sweeper."

"Mr. Vime's you said that Keel taught you all the things that the Young Vime's needed to known all those Years ago but think, you know it was you who went back in time and taught you all these things......... in fact Mr. Vime's I would put it to you that you have never ever met the real Keel before today. Even when you were a raw recruit. This Man is John Keel, the real John Keel. And He is not the Man you thought Him to be. Do you recall that Keels Watch Commander had drowned and been replaced by a new man when you were questioned after being picked up by the old watch upon your arrival back into the old city. Yes? Well Keel made sure He was dead by holding His head underwater in the toilets of their Watch House and dumping Him in the water after. His old commander had got wind of a scam Keel had run and was going to bust Him."

"But Keel arrived with a letter of accreditation from His Watch commander, if He were bent how did He come by that?" Asked Vime's.

"If you are in charge of a force and want to get rid of a bad apple then there are Two ways of doing this, you can sack that Man or write Him a glowing report and palm Him off unto some other unsuspecting fool. When the letter of accreditation was written before the proof of Keels wrong doings were found, His commander was quite happy to see Him off to this city....... He would be our problem than. He was in the Shades when He crossed paths with Carcer, I believe He was there at that time trying to make a few contacts in the criminal underworld. But Carcer got to Him first." Sweeper said.

"But He was dead, we both knew it. So why is He here?" Asked Vime's.

"You will have to ask Reg Shoe about that one Mr. Vime's as I am no expert on the undead, Take another look at His head. I should if I were you."

Vime's picked up the Head, it had the pale washed out and slightly Green look Vime's had come to recognise in Zombies.

"He was buried up in Small Gods but it looks like He did not want to stay there..........." Said Vime's.

"Imagine how things may have turned out if He had survived and then joined up with Carcer....... you would not have turned out like the you that you are now...... if you get My meaning." Said sweeper.

Vime's nodded, He could just imagine those Two thugs in charge...........

"Yes with their influence and cunning you would have turned out a very different Man, you would have made Patrician by now...." Interjected Sweeper.

"What!" Said Vime's.

"Yes we have seen this in other time lines Mr. Vime's. Luck for this World it never happened, wars and conquests murders and so on.... you have a dark side Mr. Vime's, very dark."

"I try to keep it under control sweeper, I think I have an internal guide that watches me at all times, but at times I feel like there is a dark part of me just waiting to be set free. It is useful sometimes but I must be ever vigilant not to allow it out uncontrolled....."

"A watcher to watch the Watchman...... very deep thinking Mr. Vime's. Well my time is almost up here, back to following History........... see you again Mr. Vime's." And with that Sweeper wavered into the background fading into nothing. Normality returned.

"Fred, Reg please take the body and Head back to Small Gods and return Mr. Keel to His, hopefully, final resting place. And no one is to say nothing of this to anyone. Keel may have been a evil bugger in real life but at least He can be a Hero in Death, and by Gods the city needs Heroes in times like these...."

Fred and Reg collected the Two body parts and bagged them up for return to the Graveyard.

The rest of the Unit tidied up and made there respective ways to the Watch houses around the city. Everything went back to normality. Thieves robbed, seamstresses made a few people happy and the city continued in preparation for the day of the launch.

Odo Nazbuk stood guard at the front of the House, blowing warm air into His freezing hands with a smile of satisfaction on His face. "Jess dis job iz more interesting dan Thatching Roovs." He said to no one in particular..
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:41 pm

Part Fifteen

---------------- Imp?-------------------------

The Aroma of citrus Fruit laid heavily over the Unseen University as the Toroid shaped machine was powered up.

The machine was originally developed to investigate the very nature to Magic and Elemental things that Man was Never meant to know the meaning of and, because of uncertainty, had an unintended side effect when first tried.

The concentration of Energy at the point where very small bits of matter that are nearly to small to see are squashed together had conjured up objects.

It draws its power from Batteries made by inserting Metal rods into acidic Fruits as per Leonard Of Quirm's design.

Thousands of Lemons lined shelving along the walls of the out building, each in a jar with thin cables linked to the power cable that went to the control panel....

The control panel was a simple thing, a large dial with a Red an Amber and a Green scale, a enormous Toggle switch like the one used by a mad Scientist would use to reanimate an Igor and a Slot that looked remarkable like a Letter box.

This is how it works........

"What we do Arch Chancellor is input into Hex the required design constraints of any given object. Hex then works out the required number of Lemons required to power the Toroid, at the same time Hex prints out a card that has the required parameters punched on it, see here and here. We then take the card to the panel and insert the card into the slot, thus. Mr. Modo nips out and connects the required number of cables calculated by Hex to give the balance required, see the dial... when the right Current is generated the pointer will be within the Green section of the scale, well done Mr. Modo it is there now, thank you. And now if you would like to throw the lever..?" Ponder Stibbons said to Mustrum Ridcully.

"Is it safe?" Ridcully asked as He hesitated.

Stibbons handed Ridcully the wood handle from a broom to poke the lever over form a distance, dry wood being a good insulator.

Ridcully poked at the lever, it flipped over, there was a ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP sound and strings of electrical sparks zipped between copper rods set atop the control panel, the smell of the Sea Side overwhelming the Citrus Aroma for a short time.

Set in the Toroid was a Glass Chamber with a Glass lid.

Inside the Glass a Blue glow appeared, Spherical in shape it almost looked like the special effect from a Movie in which a Cyborg killer is sent back in time Naked to shoot a waitress would have looked ...........

Sparks emanating from the ball of fire and Earthed out on to copper rods and cables set it angles, all designed to safely disperse excessive power surges.............

Inside the Chamber and shrouded by clouds of steam a shape could be seen to be congealing out of the firmament.....
It look very odd. As the Air in the Chamber cleared the thing emerged. Imagine an Eight fingered Crab with a Reptilian Tail and soft dangling parts that may remind one of certain Male organs. The thing looked surprised and spun around and around inside the Chamber as if searching for a way out, but it appeared to have no eyes or mouth.

"Yuck, is that what we are going to send into the void as a crew on the Telescope Stibbons?" Asked a disgusted Ridcully.

"Errr no Arch Chancellor....... I may have made a slight error......... got one of the........ I see.. yes." Said Stibbons as He examined the punch card.

One of the Holes still had a small cutout blocked.

"Programming Error, not to sure what that thing is........ lets have it out for a closer look." Said Stibbons as He lifted the lid and plucked the thing from the jar with a long steel tong.

The thing screeched and writhed in the tong, the fingers made grasping motions and the tail thrashed about as if trying to get a grasp on Stibbons neck.

"Looks like something from the Dungeon Dimensions Stibbons, what are we to do with it?" Asked Ridcully.

"I have been experimenting with a new technique that allows me to look inside the very cells that make up living Animals Arch Chancellor, I will mush it up in the crusher over at the Lab and put some of the resulting liquid in a special jelly that changes colour to indicate the very makeup of a Animal or plant. I can trace their origins from the very patterns that develop."

"Still trying to prove a link between Man and Ape then? Evolution, give it up Stibbons it is a dead end and a waste of you valuable time lad."

Ponder was about to respond to Ridcully when the thing made an extra strong thrashing motion and slipped from the tong, it landed on the floor and legs wind milling made for the door and freedom, it then launched into the Air like a leaping thing as it spotted a host at the door.

It did not get far......... Mr. Modo was entering the room and saw a Giant spider like thing flying through the Air at Head height, finger like legs out spread as fit it intended to grasp onto his Head. His Axe flew through the intervening gap and split the thing in Two.

As the creature fell to the floor its blood splashed on the walls and floor, it gave of a choking fume and started to eat its way through the concrete, and Mr. Modo's Axe............

"Darn..... that was my Great Grand Mothers Axe, bloody ruined!" Said the Dwarf.

"Mr Stibbons will reimburse you for repairs,I think He should take more care when creating Monsters from the other Dimensions ..............shouldn't He Mr. Stibbons?" Said Ridcully to a Red faced Wizard.

"Yes, so sorry Mr. Modo..... now if I poke out this little bit of card and try again....."

Stibbons reinserted the card into the slot and flipped the lever again........

After the ZAP ZAP ZAP and smoke had cleared inside the Glass Chamber could be seen a small green Imp, He was the deep Green of a Summer Leaf, about Two Feet high and naked, with only a long Green beard to cover His privates. The Imp was A cyclopean having only One extra large Eye set in the middle of His forehead.....The Imp looked up at Stibbons as He reached in and Said in a small squeaky Voice...

"Hello My name is......?"

Stibbons stopped and thought, it is normally the task of a creator to name His creations.....

"Emmmm........." Said Stibbons thinking out loud.

"My Name is Emmmm!" Said the excited Imp.

Ridcully Laughed....

"Nice one Stibbons, you have Named it now.. HA HA HA."

"But.... but.... but........ Oh Hell!" Said Stibbons who knew by the end of the Day He would be the laughing stock of the University after naming His Imp........... Emmmm.

"Odd looking fellow Stibbons, I see the assistance offered by Nanny Ogg has helped in the design, what did She call that Green stuff She got from Plants? Claw-o-phil. Sounds like the Name of a Demon to be!"

"Yes Arch Chancellor, Emmmm will be able to transform the Gasses in the Air and the Sun Light into energy, thus eliminating the need to resupply Him in the Ring Path. The large Eye is very sensitive to a wider bandwidth of light then we are able to see in, so things invisible to us will be visible to Him."

"Needs some clothing though Stibbons, Mr. Modo pleases take Emmmm to Mrs. Whitlow had have Her get One of Her Ladies to run the Imp up A set of Wizard clothing, cape and Hat and so one. I am making Him an Honorary member of the University."

"Why Arch Chancellor? I only just created Him, He knows nothing of Magic." Asked a curious Stibbons.

"That chap from Quirm and the Guilds are all involved in this project and will claim all the glory for it..... I want it on record that the Unseen university was heavily involved too, be having a member of the University Man... Sorry, Imp the thing our part in it can not be minimised."

"I see, good idea if I may say so Sir!" Creeped Stibbons, after all it is always a good idea to suck up to the boss some times.

Modo picked up the Imp and left the room.

Stibbons filed the card away in a draw full of cards, He filed it under Optics.

Ponder Took the tong and picked up the remaining halves of the Acid Creature and placed them in a Glass tube full of Water.

"Have a plan for that then Stibbons?" Asked the chancellor as they closed up the room.

"Well, seeing as it is here I may as well run it through the crusher and examine it for possible uses, shame Modo Killed it, it may have been intelligent. I suspect it may have been a youngster of its species and its reaction on arrival here was one of self defence, who knows what it could have told us or what advances in Magic could have been gained..... I may recreate another at some time in the future and do some research on it."

That Night the cards in the draw were mysteriously eaten by an Orangutan who had witnessed the creation of the thing and heard Ponder's remarks, having spied on the pair of Wizards via the Omniscope...........

At that Time............

Death traversed the dark sands having guided the Sun Cult people to their Fiery Heaven. In the Horizon Deaths empty eye sockets made out the shape of a strange creature unlike any He had seen before.... The thing was spinning in a circle as if trying to orientate it self....

Death strode closer to the thing, it spotted Him and sprung from the ground and wrapped it's skeletal fingers around Death's skull and wrapped it's reptilian tail around His neck.....

"Fronderly Fring Hurnt hue!" Mumbled Death.

He carefully unwound the tail from His neck and slowly prized the Skeletal finger from around His neck, the thing squirmed in His hands, Death gave it a tickle under the things belly and it stopped struggling went limp and started to Purr.


From behind Death the sound of very heavy foot steps and the sound like steam escaping from the pistons of a steam train approached.

Death turned.......... stood in front of Him another creature the likes of which could only have come from the deepest terrors in a sick and possibly mental mind. The thing was like a cross between a giant Roach, a Dragonfly Nymph and a Dinosaur..... and it dripped slime from its teeth filled mouth.


"That's where the little scamp got to, thank you very much for catching it for me." Said the thing with a attractive Female Voice, She was the Death of Aliens.


"Humans? Here?" Asked the Creature.


"Yes, they are mad on My worlds.... their Home Planet is a fine place to live but they are wrecking it by cutting down the very trees that Oxygenate the Atmosphere and pump loads of Carbon Dioxide into it raising the Temperatures so high they will probably turn their World into a furnace like the Second Planet in their System. And they have the nerve to call My kind Monsters!" Said the Creature.


Death handed the young Alien Spirit to the Death of Aliens where it scampered on to the Creatures upper carapace and settled down for a sleep.

"I must be off as I have lots of Souls to harvest, a Human Female and is causing all sorts of troubles back in My Universe, She has just blown up a nest of Eggs and rescued a Young Human Female from the Incubation Chambers!"

"HUMANS! ALWAYS CAUSING PROBLEMS........." Said Death, shaking His Head.

"Good bye!" The creature faded away.................

Death waited in the Desert.
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:42 pm

Part Sixteen

------------------- Rocket -----------------------

The noise was as loud as a Man could stand, scaffolding surrounded the Chimney all the way to the top, Men and Dwarfs were busy cutting through the thing with grinding tools and saws. Sparks showered down onto the floor of the Factory popping and spitting and sending streamers of smoke in all directions. A large Crane made of Bamboo wood stood alongside the Chimney and ropes were affixed through holes drilled in the Chimney to the crane. Trolls were taking up the slack....

"We are nearly ready to lift the top Third from the Chimney Uncle.... Steady their!" Shouted Sol Dibbler Who had been put in charge of the dismantling by His Uncle and Head of Supplies Maximillian Dibbler.

Artificers were moving a large dolly under the now swinging upper part, the ropes creaked under the Weight of the tube, showers of soot feel to the ground after being disturbed by the process. The tube swung and bounced against a wall and the test of the Years of soot came crashing down on to the Factory floor, tons of sooty ash and smoke filled the area, Men and Dwarfs went coughing and weaving in a ran from the floor.... but the Troll took not notice, creatures that find the vents on a Volcano a nice place to have a sleep were not put out by this light breeze.

A few minuets after the emergency evacuation and dark and soot incrusted Troll appeared at Factory doors.

"Where do you lot want it?" Said the Trolls Foreman.

From the door the dolly slowly appeared as Half a dozen Trolls pushed it into the open, it trailed heaps of soot and ash. One of the Trolls picked up some of the Soot and compressed it into a ball. He threw it at the back of the Foreman's head knocking off His helmet.

"Sootball fight!" Shouted one of the other Trolls and a Sootball war broke out!

"All right, cut it out you lot, your Adults and not Youngsters. Act your age...." Shouted the Forman.

He picked up His helmet and put it back on His head. It flew off a moment later after another Sootball Hit the back of His head.... He ignored it.

The process of dismantling continued over the following few days, the sections of Chimney were cleaned up and then delivered to the Guild of Alchemists for packing with the new propellant developed for the Rocket by Leonard.

Leonard had discovered that if He mixed Agatean Thunder Clay with the clay from the banks of the River, then added ground up Alumimimium powder to the mix he had a paste not unlike potters clay that burnt rapidly but did not explode.

The propellant was manufactured by the Alchemists and Dwarfs employed to plaster the mix onto the insides of the tube. Leonard gave instruction that the inside shape of the propellant be shaped, looking into the ends it looked like a starfish had been drawn through the mix.... this gave the propellant more of a surface area, according to Leonard, and this increased to thrust of the rocket..... if His calculations were correct!

The Tree sections were carted to the University on the dolly and a large Quarter section was removed from the base of the Tower of Art. One at a time the sections were lifted to the vertical and slid into the tower..... then lifted up by block and tackle and Troll the Three parts were stacked on top of each other. The launch Rocket was ready, all they needed now was the payload....
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Postby mspanners » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:43 pm

Part Seventeen

-------- Capsule ---------------------

The brown paper parcels arrived first post. Leonard ripped the wrapping from the Two Crystal Glass sheets. They looked clear as crystal, which is what they were in fact.

"Very good work, I am sure these should do the job... clear, even in thickness and very strong, just the job!"

Leonard made His way to Zonkys where the sheets would be fitted to the large rubber balloon that had been commissioned by the MASA team.

Leonard had instructed that the holes in the Balloon be cut Two Inch undersized, the Glass Sheets placed over the holes and then a heated press used to fuse them together.

On the side of the balloon a Small thin skinned steel capsule was attached to the balloon, inside a tiny door that would lead into the inflated structure and a tiny couch seat jut big enough for Emmmm to fit in.

At the very top of the balloon was the Telescope, the balloon attached by a series of hooks that clamped the Two metal rings together... one ring bonded to the un-inflated balloon and the other to the viewing piece of the Scope. The entire package with the un-inflated part being around Two stories high.

In one corner was a mock up of the Capsule that Emmmm was to Pilot, Emmmm was seated in the tiny seat and twiddling with the series of control knobs set in arrays in front of the view port.

"We are going to simulate a manoeuvre, I would like you to turn the Telescope towards the edge of the Sun to view it as it is eclipsed by the Rim." Said Ponder Stibbons indicating a large model of the Disc clearly Visible through the main view port.

"Very good, right you are Sir!" Squeaked Emmmm.

"Don't forget I will be using the light so remember to watch the Disc."

Ponder made His way behind a petition wall and flipped a few switches. The room went dark..... "Raise actuators, simulation light to correct settings... good. We will begin...."

From under the simulator a series of groans and mumbling could be heard....

"Ach crubbins un I had a Greet hand ta, war we doin tanight?" Said one of the more coherent voices.

There were a number of Nac Mac Feegles lifting the entire simulator.

"Quiet there, simulation on." Said ponder.

"Ach ill give ye quiet, ya kanner tell me what ta do!"

"Please chaps, we need to make this as real as possible... There will be no Feegles up there so please be quiet."

"Whell ok but yer shoud show a tiny bit of curtisy when a talkin to a feegle or ye may be offski home we a medical problem."

"Thank you........" Said a quavering Ponder.

Ponder examined the list of instructions. He started to tap in a small switch and an irregular rhythm and a small light on the model Disc stared to flicked as a glow beetle was stimulated be small electrical jolts generated by a Lemon battery.

Emmmm watched the show for a few minutes and then turned to the control knobs and examined them. "Do you want me to turn them now?" He asked.

"Yes......... We have been through this a Hundred times." Said a frustrated Stibbons.

"Right you are Sir!" Squeaked the Imp. He grasped the knob on His right and spun it.

Beneath the Feegles started to spin the Simulator clockwise in response to a lit arrow indicator.

"Wee." Said the Imp. He then spun the Knob some more.... the Simulator began to rotate so fast that the Imp was shoved back in His groaning seat, the model of the Disc appeared in the view port with increasing regularity.... "Weeeeeeeee..." He said.

Stibbons held His head in His hands.

"Abort simulation." Said Leonard who had witnessed the whole sad affair.

The simulator slowly came to rest and the Feegles emerged from under the Simulator each with a hand of cards clutched closely to their chests.

From within the Capsule Emmmm said "Weee............ ughhhhh." He was sick all over the controls. He unbuckled His belts and wobbled out of the Capsule.

"Ha biggen, ye looks like ye needs a wee dram inside ye ta get over this eflubrances" Said Rob Anybody.

With that the Feegles picked up Emmmm and scurried out of the building.

"Not going quite to plan is it Mr. Stibbons?" Commented Leonard.

"I think I may have made a mistake in creating Emmmm with a sense of self determination. I thought it would be of use when He was on the other side of the Disc and spotted something interesting. He could then observe it and report back when in view... but since He has met the Feegles he has developed a personality of His own. I think He is self aware now, a new life form if you please."

"Oh dear, can you make another with out these traits?" Asked Leonard.

Stibbons shook His head. "It would not work, we need the scope to be on control One Hundred Percent of the time. When it is on the other side of the Disc to."

"Well you had better come up with a solution soon, nearly all the other parts are nearing completion and Lord Vetinari has called for progress report to be ready for this week's meeting at the Rats chamber...
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