Messiah ~ An Xmas game for pagans and atheists everywhere

[ShadowNinjaCat]

I think I understand the rules ,may I play Miriam?

We have to understand the rules? I was kinda going to just move the number of squares I was told to and then do what it tells me to do. I have to have a strategy to lose my virginity?

I just meant that I understand how the game works...I hope

[Jan Van Quirm]

There's nothing to understand - I throw a dice and move the Madonnas accordingly and 'things' happen as they go around You just cheer them on basically

OK ShadowNinjaCat - Miriam's all yours

Right smartypants in terms you can relate to - magenta is a red-purple colour as in Captain Magenta (at the bottom of the page immediately below the scarlet one ). I'm allergic to bright pink so I toned down a bit to a more natural fuschia colour and so she wasn't irredeemably girlie.

[deldaisy]

So true: it IS fuschia.

But then wouldn't that depend on the colour balance on your screen?

[Jan Van Quirm]

Most likely yes Dell - don't get me onto trying to explain to hexi-decimal colours to smartypants or we'll be here forever

[deldaisy]

Jan, I am really worried about playing this game. I was going to use the little car out of the Monopoly game for a counter to move around the board (but that didn't seem historically appropriate), then I thought well the only thing I have with wings on it (angel like God and all) was a little cupid cherib stick pin my sister gave me, but that seemed a bit pagan-ish and the stick pin part of it kept leaving holes all over my screen.... and so I thought I would use a little Christmas ball off the tree (you know what with me most probably winning and becoming the "mother of Jesus" thing and him being born at Christmas...) but it kept rolling around so I finally decided on a little snowman for a counter. But it keeps sliding down the screen and the only way I can get it to stay in one place is if I lie the screen flat on the floor but the power cord is the tiniest bit short to do that and the screen keeps going black........

[Jan Van Quirm]

This is a teflon game - nothing sticks through, into, out of, under or on the visual interface. All you have to do is post your outrage, joy, anger, bile or giggles...

*Angelic expression* All will be made manifest in its proper season my sister. Be at peace and have a gin or summat

OK - where's the Irish when there's some blaspheming to be done?! We have 2 cracking Madonnas left - the lovely Shazzer and sweet lil' Ruthie.

C'mon guys - we're virgin on the ridiculous here and need to put Del out of our misery and get this game started!

[poohcarrot]

Understanding of the rules is not important to play. Usually Jan's games are so complicated that even after they've finished and you've won, you still don't know what you were doing.

[Jan Van Quirm]

Not complicated - I throw a dice and off they go and where they'll end up you'll soon know...

OK Shazzer and Ruthie will run anyway and I'll start this after lunch sometime - back later

[Jan Van Quirm]

And they're off! (Standing start from #1 gold point)

Chapter 1 ~ The Archangel Gabriel brings you all a message from the Lord
By the Power of Magi-digital broadcasting Gabriel is able to appear to all 6 prospective Madonnas silmultaneously and deliver the exact same message to each of you...

How the message gets translated directly into your brain is therefore down to your conscience, for it will either give you cause for Jubilation or Tribulation...
Dorien! Ruth! Sharon! ~ Keep calm! Gabriel tells you that you are expecting the son of God. Throw again
Sabrina! Miriam! Lilith! ~ Gabriel's news is no surprise... Joseph and you did get a little carried away down the Forum the other week. Panic and miss a turn

Dorien! ~ 2
Ruth! ~ 2
Sharon! ~ 3


The image as posted will update universally each round


OK Ladies ~ next round is tomorrow and The Lord has decided that as Sabrina Miriam and Lilith have effectively not moved at all everyone will be eligible to throw at that time too.

[deldaisy]

So I'm Dorien then. (Red)
I can't find a dice. But who threw for me then? Do YOU throw for us Jan? So if I have moved two..... what am I supposed to do on that space? (Go past go.. do not collect $200?) Or do I only DO something when I get to a pointy bit?

Wait a MINUTE!!!!!!! Gabriel said I am with child? Up the duff? Preggers? But I'm still a virgin aren't I? That bastard Gabriel! He told me it was only lemon squash! Anyone know where I left my bra?

Worse still... I have had my first sexual experience, can't remember a thing, got pregnant the first time AND I get to hear about it from JAN!!!!! the town gossip I shouldn't wonder.
My parents are going to kill me.

[Jan Van Quirm]

How to play
~ Choose your Madonna (1st come, 1st served).
~ GM (JVQ) throws the 6 die for everyone in daily rounds ~ no need for post deadlines for the players just pop in to chat and comment on progress or lack of it whenever you like!
~ Everyone starts and finishes at the highest point of the star under Messiah! and the Madonnas travel clockwise on the white spaces on the board.
~ Each Madonna must visit each golden point on the star ~ therefore you will have to move backwards at times to land squarely on the point. IMPORTANT ~ you cannot change direction mid-turn.
~ There are also 6 copper 'Limbo' spaces where you may receive a bonus or penalty if you land on it.
~ On each gold point (and on the copper spaces if you land there) the GM will throw the 6 die again to determine whether you receive a tribulation (1-3) or have cause for jubilation (4-6).

*fans Del frantically*

You're playing it now - you just react to the outcome of play for this dice round. I see to the dice using this online randomiser else you'll all be cheating won't you!

It's really like snakes and ladders only because it's online the boardmaster (me) has to see to the dice and to the moves. See? It's as easy as I can make it,so you don't really have to DO anything except accuse me (but it's still the dice) of being mean to you...

How much you want to identify with your own Madonna is entirely up to you...

[deldaisy]

Jan wrote:

fans Del frantically*

You're playing it now - you just react to the outcome of play for this dice round. I see to the dice using this online randomiser else you'll all be cheating won't you!

I do NOT cheat! I am good I am. GOD hisself chose ME.. ME Jan to father his child! Because I am SOOOO good. (In fact... I have heard him let the word "Amazing!" slip out once or twice .. AND the occassional "Oh ME! Oh ME!)

Fan harder Jan..... apparently I have gone from virgin, to unwed mother, to hot flushes and dry va..... nevermind. Puberty to Menopause in a heartbeat. Time flies when you are "having fun but can't freaking well remember any of it" huh?!

[Jan Van Quirm]

Well there you go - you're remembering an awful lot for someone who can't remember bein at the conception... well done!

I very much doubt you can be menopausal already - you're only at the beginning of the 1st trimester for heavens sake - stop making a fuss and go play in front of the mirror with a cushion under your jumper or summat! (I hope they're not all going to be like this... )

[poohcarrot]

It was Sjoerd wot done it!

Who'd like a pact?

[deldaisy]

Pillow shimillow! I am REALLY getting into this game! I have ordered one of these.



.. I'm laughing cause it has built in boobies too
... I'm laughing cause it looks like I am going to give birth the Mickey Mouse.
And you all know how this ends up huh?


Wait! ... Does that means GOD is......