Corrupt-a-wish

[Quark]

You've already said something like that.

(Ponder Stibbons) was slayed for playing the same round twice.

[Ponder Stibbons]

Sorry. ive been a bit absent minded recently. I think its my genetic altzheimers kicking in

ok, I wish i wasnt a wimp(not that i am )

[Quark]

You are no longer a wimp. You are, in fact, incredibly brave. However, unwisely, you throw yourself in front of a truck in order to save a kitten. It is no small comfort that the kitten got out of the way anyway.

I wish that adolescents were forbidden to say 'like' out of context.

[Willem]

A law is passed, outlawing the use of the word 'like' out of context among adolescents.
The adolescents revolt, and take over the country using their computer skills. A new government is formed under the inspired leadership of Micheal 'The Zit' McNerd. His first decree is to change the official language from English to Textese. National anthem is changed to 'Like, God saves da queen, lol!'

I wish it was summer already.

[Quark]

Great answer . I couldn't stand textese for long... Us PC gamers, proud guardians of an ancient culture - okay, okay, a few decades - would not stand for this.

Thanks to global warming it is now summer. However, also thanks to global warming, you have to swim to work.


I wish I could meet Fatal1ty

[Willem]

You meet Fatal1ty. However, he heard you can't stand textese and since his name contains a 1 instead of a I, he takes this personally. He vows to track you down in every online game you play to kill you. Even Hello Kitty: Island Adventures.


I wish they would bring back my favorite flavour of crisps.

[Penfold]

They bring back your favourite flavour of crisps and you gourge youself on them. However, in your rush to eat them, you severely cut your gums on the sharp edges and are unable to continue. Furthermore, due to the cuts, the additives in the flavourings get into your bloodstream, leaving you allergic to all crisps (other than plain).

I wish the bludy trains would run on time!

[mystmoon]

the trains run on time, unfortunately, since everyone is used to them being late, and since buses to the station still don't run on time, the amount of people missing the train is higher than ever before

I wish every form of Big Brother would be irrevocably cancelled

[Lady Vetinari]

Your wish is granted. All satellite channels and TV shows erase any mention of Big Brother from the planet ... unfortunately that brings the return of El Dorado! (A terrible soap that didn't last long for those who don't know!)

I wish I was married to Willy Wonka.

[Quark]

However, he heard you can't stand textese and since his name contains a 1 instead of a I, he takes this personally

Technically, putting numbers in a word to replace letters is called 'l33t'. Textese is the stuff like 'LOL, C U AT PRTY L8R?' (Note that the '8' is an abbreviation, not a replacement for a letter).
God, I'm such a geek

You are married to Willy Wonka, but he constantly gives you chocolate.
Especially the particular kind you really hate!

I wish someone would transfer NetHack to a calculator.

[captainsmog]

Someone did, but it causes disruptions in the space-time continuum which causes
fish rains (especially herrings rains).

I wish I could teleport myself.

[bikkit]

unfortunatley, you can onley teleport to 5,000 m up in the air.


I wish that it woul be illegal to have your i pod so loud that other people (ie.me) can hear that you have NO TASTE WHATSOEVER in music

[Ponder Stibbons]

It is outlawed and in revolt, teenagers take over the local government with their secret weapon known only as sonic hangover. They then play their really lame songs in all supermarkets, shopping centers, public areas and neighbours homes. Beer sales go down and morty's cafe is saved. It doenst matter though, cos all the customers have vanished on account of the atrocious music.

[mystmoon]

You wished for nothing, negating all existence.

I wish that it would stop snowing

[Lady Vetinari]

You have your wish ... It has stopped snowing but a freak heatwave hits your area and dries up the water supplies leaving you with an unseasonal hose-pipe ban and strict regulation on water usage.

I wish I could sing.