Corrupt-a-wish

[Seimimac]

You have a Death Note, but it's in Chinese, which you can't read, so you give it to your Chinese friend, and the first name he reads out is yours! Bye!

I wish I knew the numbers for the next Euromillions draw.

[Jezzron]

You do, but so does everybody else so you win seven pence. Becasue of the disappointing prize many people start to riot and your computer is stolen.

I wish I have Super powers!

[CrysaniaMajere]

but you don't get to choose which power, so you suddenly become invisible but you have nobody to tell you how to swith back so nodoby can see you and you end up alone and having to be very careful when you cross the street.

I wish I could read people's minds

[Willem]

You can read people's minds and are so disgusted by their thoughts you become a recluse. And when you die, your 20 cats eat your corpse

I wish I could tie shoelaces with my mind.

[Ogamis]

You can, but it takes 20 minutes and takes 3 times as much effort to do


I wish my coursework got full marks

[RSoak]

It does, but because you only wished for it you don't know the material as well as your competition and therefore they get the better jobs.

I wish dog poop would pick itself up.

[Ogamis]

It does, and throws itself at you as you pass by

I wish Americans were not stupid enough to vote for Mit Romney

[Square12]

They weren't but a change in the legislative bits and bobs meant that he still became president, something about Florida!

I wish I could have any and as many super power or powers as and when I so chose.

[KnightOfFewWords]

You do! Better get used to that crippling sense of responsibility, demi-god - now everything that does or doesn't happen is indirectly your fault, and you will be blamed for it.

I wish for the perfect beer.

[Square12]

You get a thimble full of the perfect beer, however one drop of it ruins your taste buds for anything else and as such all other food and drink for the rest of your life tastes so bland that they have to invent a new word because in comparison bland is a taste sensation.

I wish I had invented cheese,

[KnightOfFewWords]

Unfortunately, the jealous and wrathful decreed that you should be tied to a giant bagel and consumed by goats each day, in punishment.

I wish the Star Wars prequels had never been made.

[Square12]

The Star Wars prequels were never made because an airplane crashed into George Lucas' house the day he woke up and thought I'm going to make a film called Star Wars thus none of the original trilogy were made either but by some strange coincidence there was a film called the Jar Jar Binks story.

I wish all I liked healthy food