If anyone's interested, here's my Maskerade performance:
(Walks on stage not looking at the audience)
"BOO! The fifth surprise.
I'd like to read some quotations from the Way of Mrs Comopolite.
You're never too old to learn, but you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Why keep a dog and bark yourself? Barking dogs seldom bite, but once bitten, twice shy.
No pain, no gain. It'll look better in the morning for time is a great healer. That which doesn't kill us makes us strong
BUT IT WON'T GET BETTER IF YOU PICK IT!
So let sleeping dogs lie, for every dog has his day, and never bite the hand that feeds, because there's more than one way to skin a cat.
Enough is enough. Fine words butter no parsnips. You can have too much of a good thing. Time and tide wait for no man. Out of sight, out of mind. All's well that ends well.