Captain Pooh Carrot - Comments

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Captain Pooh Carrot - Comments

Postby poohcarrot » Mon Jun 21, 2010 5:42 am

Here's your chance to be as critical as you like. :twisted:
Be as mean as you want, I can take it! :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Dotsie » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:22 am

I liked it, despite your shocking parody of the magnificent Dotsie! You don't know nagging yet pal :lol:

One thing - if JL was never assasinated, how come Cpt PC already knows he's going back to New York? It kind of reads like you know he's supposed to be dead, but it didn't happen for some reason.
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:31 am

Ooh! Good point. I'd better rectify it pronto. :D

Changed it! :P
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Willem » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:46 am

I'd ditch the Vuvuzela reference because they're annoying :)
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Postby mspanners » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:49 am

Glad you are still here on the Forum as the Forum would be a little duller with out some controversy and insight!!

Live long and prosper poohcarrot!!! 8)
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:01 am

Insight is my middle name. :lol:

Willem wrote:I'd ditch the Vuvuzela reference because they're annoying :)

...topical :P
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Dotsie » Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:39 am

poohcarrot wrote:Insight is my middle name. :lol:

Yeah, but your first name is pooh :P
What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
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Postby Sjoerd3000 » Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:22 am

I think timecop Sjoerd needs a bigger role 8)
A poster outside one shop urged people to Dig For Victory, as if it were some kind of turnip.
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:46 pm

We'll see what happens, shall we? :lol:
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:02 pm

Redline proofing services -

Intro
It is the year 3012AJ ~ presumably 3000+ years after the date of publication of the the Book of John?
In current reckoning this would of course add three thousand years to 2012CE so the year would then be 5012? Would humans still be living a life relatively akin to current reality after 3000 years when they weren't warring the whole time? Discuss...

Chapter 1 (1st post)
Since mankind had learned to control the weather, everyday was perfect. ~ every day

Chapter 1 (2nd post)
The last time they had indulged in sex had been nearly a month ago, and the last meal she had served him had been cold beens on burnt toast. ~ beans

You shouldn't hang out with those loses. They're bad news." ~ losers or louses (but the pleasuretron's already done the lice gag :wink: )

Chapter 1 (3rd post)
winked her bionic eye mischieviously. ~ mispronunciation: the last 'i' is superflous = mischievously

Chapter 1 (4th post)
It is imperitive that she doesn't make it to Tescos ~ imperative


Around 2050 words so far :lol: A journey starts with but a single step etc etc.

Regarding the potential anomaly in your 'knowing' about the RL killing - keep the shooting incident in there as 'history' - that means you can know about the attempt etc and will get your trip to NYC 1980 after all. I'd suggest that you make very sure to get Dot-C something special before you go back to the future though - however many times you have to go back... :twisted:

Title of The Book ~ Hmm - ish... All you need is Love* has to be the most trite and irritating tune ever :roll: Would 'Imagine' not come into it somewhere or is that too predictable? :P

*Also it was credited to Lennon/McCartney even though John wrote it - I think his ego would have wanted the title to be something that wholly 'belonged' to him 8)
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby poohcarrot » Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:52 pm

All done without a spell checker, and my electronic dictionary broke two weeks ago so there are bound to be a few spelling mistakes, but ta for pointing them out to me. :D

It has taken me approx 6 hours so far. So for 80,000 words that'll be 40 x 6 = 240 hours. That is of course if I continue at the same speed. However, once I get the hang of it, it should become faster.

It's impossible for Carrot to go back in time more than once, for reasons that will become clear very shortly. It's all to do with the the fact that time isn't linear. If he isn't successful this time, his world will cease to exist because of the evil shape-shifting Quirm-bot. 8)
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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Postby ShadowNinjaCat » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:06 pm

:lol: I'm enjoying this
“We are all in the gutter,but some of us are looking at the stars.”- Oscar Wilde
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Postby Tonyblack » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:23 pm

Excellent stuff! :lol:
"Goodness is about what you do. Not what you pray to."
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Postby Jan Van Quirm » Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:38 pm

poohcarrot wrote:because of the evil shape-shifting Quirm-bot. 8)

Oooh! Nice one - I like shape-shifters :lol:
"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” George Bernard Shaw
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Postby poohcarrot » Tue Jun 22, 2010 3:13 am

Sorry Sjoerd.

Bad news, you've just been relegated to a normal cop, not a time cop. :(
Good news, you're going to have a big part to play in the second half of the book. :D
Bad news, you're going to be a sadistic religious cop on the parallel fundi Christian world. :twisted:

(assuming I get that far, of course)
"Disliking Carrot would be like kicking a puppy."
"You kicked a puppy," Lobsang said accusingly.
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