The following is what I sent to his publicist, in the grips of a late night desperation; it's the early hours of the morning hear in the UK.
I know he won't read it, it's a practical impossibility as I understand it, but damn it I am trying anyway.
I'm genuinely sorry to the other forum posters who no doubt have legitimate topics obscured by idiots like me. I have to do this though.
Terry - you'd have to be living under A'tuin (lasted 6 words before a discworld reference, a valiant effort) not to get the snowstorm of emails saying that you have changes the viewpoints and lives of the blissful public, so I'm not going to take that line, much as I'd love to. In fact, I'd be hard pressed not to say something that hasn't already been said at least 43 times before, testament either to my crippling lack of originality or else your legions of devotees. So I'll keep it short and sweet, rather like your hat, although without the fetching ribbon. You are awesome, in the most basic sense of the word, rather than the late nineties baseball cap way, and I'll say it anyway, you have managed to shape the person I am today. In promoting Alzheimers charities and the general cause, bring attention to the debate about assisted death, you have ascended yourself from a merely authorial demi-god to a fully fledged, campaigning deity. In as much as patriotism makes any sense, you do the country, the continent, hell, the species proud and, with the inevitable morbid note coming in like a well timed fart, will be an incredible loss when Death rolls up and does his thing.
I'll be another gurning face in a growd of hundreds at the convention, but on the basis that 1 in a million chances occur 9 times out of 10, I am also going to waste the time of your publicist by asking in the most sicking possible terms for some sort of tangible token of your reading of this email, even if it's just a signature on a piece of paper.
I realise that this is essentially pointless, as I have seen from your many interviews that you have far too much fan mail, and I'll apologize again to the publicist whose time I have just wasted in the writing of this email, and just hope you have a jolly day, week, month and year, and all that jazz. Ta-ta!